His eyes widened, he became the epitome of innocence. But it must be an act. After all, nothing will ever be truly innocent again since the day I met him.
Hell, since the day he was born.
The urge to push him to the ground began to strangle me, but I wouldn't ever do that. I would hate myself to be as much as a traitor as he had been.
"Auggie. We need to communicate.
How do you really feel? "
I stopped breathing. Why is he able to be so mature, even when we're in a life or death situation?
A moment ago, he was on the edge of death. I didn't expect that we would be supposedly having an 'honest conversation' right now.
"I.. " I choked on my own words, the moment I got a chance to let all my emotions out, I couldn't. My head was foggy, and the only thing clear in my presence was Winnie's patient, humble face.
'Humble. '
One thing I never would have described him as.
"Im..j-just confused, Winn. I..love you, but I feel like you've stolen every thing from me. Everything. I'm scared of you, I'm scared to lose more than I already have.
I just want us to be best friends again, like we used to be.. "
Every few words my voice cracked, the entire speech was broken into sections and I struggled to keep my voice the same consistent pitch.
"Aug.. I never realized. I was only ever doing the same things as you because I thought you were the best, I always thought you were amazing and I wanted to be like you all my life. I never would have thought you think I'm the one who pitied you. But I don't, I love you, too. Augustine. Please forgive me, I also just want us to be best friends like we were."
His voice was far smoother than mine, because he wasn't scared to let himself feel emotion, whereas I was stuttering and holding back every tear I contained.
He's far more perfect than me. But It isn't his fault I feel like this, it was always me, I was running from myself and my own problems all this time.
I want to apologize so bad. I have so much to apologize for, yet he's the one who said he's sorry.
It's like we swapped places, but now we are finally evened out.
...
I can finally let myself love him.
