The First & Last Summer

Chapter 3

Taraji's Pov
Now I know how everything in the past was. It was bad. I mean, he practically treated me like shit — well no there was no practical to it. He did. We were dumb kids. And I was better now. Five years later and I was deemed not a danger to myself. When I came to Greens mental institution for the youth, or GMIY(gemmy), I was diagnosed with severe BPD. Or something like that.

They explained that he was my FP and I was splitting and what not. I didn't exactly pay attention. I got unhealthily addicted to self harm and I definitely found ways to do it. I made and lost a lot of friends over those five years. My mom came to visit occasionally. Updating me about her life and how successful the company became. Stuff like that. I just studied hard and reached out to a lot of colleges, the only one that would except me was one near my mom.

"You're finally going home, Tiger." The headmistress sighed with a smile. I grinned at her, "after five long years no less." She nodded. "Make sure to miss me." I scoffed gently. She smiled at me and walked over. She opened her arms and I eagerly hugged her. She had been my second mother while I was here. At first I thought she was the devil incarnation.

I was in no way nice to her. She was a tiny blonde white woman who had been working there for 15 years. She was far more aged and experienced than everyone and anyone else at the institution. She pet my head softly. "Be good out there, kid. Don't come back, see what life has to offer." She nodded as she hugged once more before letting go. She stepped back and rubbed my shoulders. I smiled at her, I grabbed my little cotton soft bag. It was something they gave all the girls supposedly.

The head mistress walked me down to the front. She opened those grey metal gates, a beep sounding off. I could almost taste the freedom. She took me to the front and had me sign out. I smiled. I was home free from here on out. I turned and walked outside. The warm July air hitting my face. God this was nice. I lifted my arms and giggled. I twirled in the sun and jumped up and down. Soft tears rolled down my face. I was free. "Taraji?" I heard. I looked forward and it was my mom. She had smile lines and salt and pepper hair. She was in a long black trench coat that hid her outfit and figure. She had a bright smile on her face.

"Mom!" I cheered as I walked over and hugged her. Our figures molded together in a warm hug. I nuzzled her neck as I took a deep breath in. She smelt so great. Like home. "I'm so happy to have you back." She whispered. I sobbed softly. "I'm so happy to be back." I muttered gently. We stepped back from each other and chuckled at the tears. She whipped my face. "My daughter.. so beautiful." She smiled. I chuckled candidly.

"You've grown so so much honey." She chuckled gently. We walked to the car arm in arm. I would be staying with mom till I moved into the college dorms. She had moved once I left. As we drove the next hour and thirty minutes home we talked about things. Listened to new music. Talked about what we'd have for dinner and how much technology had changed. I smiled at her, I was so happy to be back with her. Neither of us touched on the topic of him. It was pretty forbidden between the both of us.

She pulled up to this wonderful White House. It was huge, it was on a little creek. "And you can swim in it." She smiled. We got out the car and I rubbed my bag. I'd be living in a normal room and house. I'd be eating normal food. Because of the food they had us eating in the hospital I had dropped weight before gaining it back with a specific diet. Their food there tasted really bad so I wouldn't eat it or I'd eat one thing off of it. Once they started getting and feeding me much better meals I started to gain more weight back and grew back healthy.

"This, is grey." She smiled showing me a tall guy. He was at the least 6ft. He had dark chocolate skin and bright hazel golden eyes. He had a big smile on his face and a trimmed beard. "It's nice to meet you, grey. I've heard a lot about you." I smiled softly. "You as well." He chuckled softly. He outstretched a hand and I took it. Giving him a firm shake. "KIDS!" He yelled over his shoulder. I looked at mom confused. She smiled sheepishly. A tall boy, 16 at the youngest walked out, a small little girl following behind.

"This is my son Jeremiah and our daughter I'lliliana." Grey smiled. My eyebrows creased as I looked at her. "You had a baby?" I asked quietly. She nodded softly. "And got married." She slipped her ring back on. I shuddered as I took my hand back. "Oh." I said simply.

Grey cleared his throat. "Well, let's head inside." He waved. We all walked in with me lagging behind. I knew life didn't pause and kept moving on after I was put in the institute but — I really wasn't expecting this. I knew nothing. Mom showed me to a room in a hall by myself. "This whole — hall is empty so feel free to pick a bedroom." She smiled looking at me. "Does everyone have their own hall?" I asked as I looked in each room. "Oh no, me and grey stay in the same hall as the kids. Safer that way." She smiled. I tensed.

"Okay." I responded back picking a random room. I put my things in the back of the room and went to the closet. I grabbed a purple fitted sheet and its matching counterparts. I slipped them on and went to my bag. It had some drawings and notes from everyone. I didn't have any belongings anymore since mom tossed it all when she moved. My mom came back in with a box. "I grabbed something's when I found out you were coming home.." she hummed setting the box down.

She leaves and I sigh softly. I walk over to the box and tug out bras and panties. I grab a black v neck shirt and some shorts. I walked to the bathroom with a towel I took from the closet. I went into the bathroom and began running a shower. I was so — utterly lost in this moment of time. I couldn't or do anything. Why was I supposed to say? Nothing. It was so so different. I'm different. They're definitely different. I turned on the shower faucet and laid the towel on the sink.

I stripped off my white jumper and slipped into the shower. The hot water burned my skin and the pressure thumped on my body like a massage. It felt phenomenal. I shuddered and huffed smiling. I began to wash up and relax. I washed my hair and looked down at my feet. No need to wear sandals anymore in my own shower. I turned off the water and got out. I dried off and smiled.

I looked in the mirror before away quickly. I pulled out a blow dryer in the bathroom, it was probably something mom did because she had left a few toiletries. I began to dry and comb out my hair. A blow out for call. I slid on the v neck and shorts and twirled comfortably.

I went back to my bed and sat down. Someone knocked on the door and I sat up. "Come in," I stated "hey hey, me again, after this I'll leave you alone." She giggled. She walked over with a white box. "It's a phone." She smiled. I began opening it up. She taught me how to set everything up and download things before leaving.

I had Snapchat, Instagram, Netflix, YouTube, and some games. I took some cute pictures before making them one of my wallpapers. I went onto Instagram and set up an account. Just my name and a creative nickname. Taraji colt and Tara's.space. It was simple and I liked it. I did a quick little bio and posted some photos. I began sifting through reels, this phone thing was fun.

People to follow popped up and — his face popped up. My breath hitched. I clicked on the profile, he had a bunch of posts up. Workout things, trips and adventures, hangouts with friends and even parties. Shuffling through it was that entire five years worth of posting. I clicked on his most recent photo.

He had a strong jaw, dirty blonde scruff, his hair was longer, fluffy but longer, it fluffed across his forehead in a light way. His shoulders were very wide and broad, he was ... in no surprising manner ripped. He was now covered in tattoos, his neck, chest, arms, hands. I turned my phone off and tossed it. I curled up.

We had both changed. It's not like I didn't know that. I guess it just genuinely caught me off guard. Tears clouded my vision and I sobbed into my knees. I didn't know how to handle this. I wanted to but I didn't. My room was blank and white, not like my colorfully painted room growing up. My bed was covered in purple sheets and not my typical pink and grey. My floor was hard would rather than carpet. Everything was empty. Hell, my soap wasn't even mine.

It's like I stopped existing. I felt my thoughts race. I wish I had died that day. I sobbed. I curled up again and hid in my knees. I focused on my breathing. I wished some things would have stayed the same. Just a few things. So I could have some sense of normalcy. I wiped my face softly and yawned. It had been a long day, and I wasn't even hungry anymore. I shut my eyes and wished for a better day tomorrow before falling asleep.