Broken

Chapter 5 ~ I Love You ~

Long time no write ! I missed Wattpad ): Anyway, Im gonna try and make my updating pattern a normal thing now but, my schedule is constantly changing so I don't really know how well that is going to work out but we'll see .

**********

I rubbed my fingers together as the chill of the night blew over me. Sam's house was 10 steps behind me and I could still see the light from his bedroom window shinning out onto the street. I smiled at the thought of what had just happened in that room - an no, it wasnt anything intimate.. at least not what your thinking-.

*Flashback*

"How many kids?" I asked, laying with my head on his stomach. I looked up at him as if he was my idol that I had just met for the first time. Everything about him was perfect. He kept me focused and at the same time had my mind buzzing with thoughts of him 24/7. Whenever I wasnt with him all I could do was think about him.

"Depends." He answered after pondering over his reply for a minute.

"On what?"

"Which sex comes first." He replied with a small laugh and an award winning smile.

"Okay, what is your ideal order?" I laughed at his expression and waited for him to reply. We have only been dating a couple of weeks but I feel like it has been forever and longer.

"Boy then girl." He smiled.

"Good." I replied, "Because that is mine too"

He laughed at my reply before slyly moving a piece of hair out of my face -the classic move- and placing a gentle, lingering kiss on my lips. That was one thing I loved about Sam. He would always find a way to make the simplest kiss a memorable one beacuse even if it was small, it was filled with a passion so deep it would take years to dig and discover it.

As soon as he pulled away, I stared deeply into his eyes before murmering 3 of the scariest words;

"I love you."

*End of Flashback*

I smiled at the remnants of the memory and what happened later. His reply of the same words and the kissing that occurred. I completely meant what I said about loving him, but he and I both know that however much I try to avoid it, there will always be that hidden passion for another.

Suddenly, I felt as if I was being watched. I turned and looked around me but saw nothing. Now, the lights of Sam's house that had just been right behind me where barely shining, and I had to squint my eyes to see the faint fireflies that were softly disappearing.

"Hello?" I asked into the darkness. No reply. And honestly I didn't expect one. What killer would just walk out from behind the bushes and say "Hi. I'm here to murder you. Prepare yourself now." I continued to walk with the awarness that there could be someone walking the same path I am that has the intent of causing me physical pain. I grabbed my phone from my back pocket and started to dial Sam's number.

"You don't really love him." whispered the bushes, before a dark figrue emerged. I squinted my eyes and saw Ethan's face.

"Get away from me." I replied before I quickened my pace. He reached out and grabbed my arm before I could escape his reach.

"You don't really love him, you know that right?"

"Yes I do!" I yelled, turning, my fac centimeters from his, "I do!"

"No! You! Don't!" He yelled back before roughly pushing me away from him. Even though his touch was filled with hatred and pain, it felt good to have him, touching me. It was almost as if his cells contained some kind of drug that I could never get enough of.

"How would you know?! Huh?" I asked.

"Because... Because you only love me!"

"You don't love me, so why would I love you?"

"Because we are meant to be!" he yelled, tears faintly appearing in his eyes, "And how would you know that I don't love you? I never said that.."

"Are you saying you love me..?" I asked, taken back by the realization that he could be deeply in love with me and falling apart every second he is away from me.

He turned away from me and wiped his face in frustration before turning back to me and staring into my eyes like I had done to Sam 20 minutes before.

"Charlotte, I lov-"

"No you don't!!!" I yelled, "You can't!!"

"But I do! No matter how much I try to stay away from you or not think about you my brain just can't. My body just can't. I dream about you. I think about you all the time. I'm dying without you." By this time, his tears flowed freely from his eyes, but he continued to look at me.

"I need time to think about this, but in the mean time, stay away from me." With that, I turned and ran away, tears falling from my eyes as well.

**********

I woke up the nest morning with dried tears covering my face. My mascara from the night before was a total messed. Black streaks down my face and red, throbbing eyes did not make for a pretty picture. My mind was buzzing with thoughts and questions of what to do. I didn't want to leave Sam, especially not for Ethan. But at the same time, eventually, Sam will find his mate and will leave me. Would it be better to get it over with now? Or should I wait until we are even more in love and he finds his mate and must leave me? What if Ethan has found someone else by then?

I groaned at all the questions I have to answer and the head ache that was creeping its way into my head. I walked into the bathroom and failed at avoiding the mirror. I grabbed 2 Advil and swallowed them before brushing my teeth and attempting to fix my hair.

Today is going to be a miserable day.  I thought to myself.

********

Sorry for the short chapter. Hopefully it was enjoyable. I'm trying to speed things up a little with her decision but we'll see how well that goes haha. Next chapter should be uploaded before Monday. Fingers crossed on that one! Until next time (:

~Ukulelelover