Skinny

4.

I breathe a little further in,

And imagine my reflections thin.

Pull the measuring tape a little tighter,

Wish the scales would show I’m lighter.

This is what Ana has done to me,

Taken my spirit, my personality.

I am trapped by my own self hate,

My despair offers me no escape.

Disgust fills my mind when I fill my belly,

I can’t deal with the feeling and so bring it all up quickly.

A lifetime of adding calories does not thrill me,

So I wish Ana would hurry up and kill me.

I feel so alone, isolated by my insanity,

I’ve lost my friends, my confidence, and my dignity.

Is it all worth it- just to be skinny?

The sleepless nights, constants feelings of being dizzy?

There are days when she plays tricks on me,

Fools me into thinking I can be happy.

It doesn’t have to go on forever, there is an end,

Once I’ve reached my goal weight, I can lose this crazy friend.

And then I am cruelly reminded

That I have been naïvely blinded

This light at the end of the tunnel never existed

And i will remain forever sick and twisted