Stillwater Street

12

September 10th 2004

It has been days and Max hasn't spoken to me, or any of us. I've had to get the bus to school and when we are having dinner he will finish early and go to his room. I haven't been speaking much either because I am so upset that he won't even speak to me about it. Max and I tell each other pretty much everything, not about our love lives unless it's relevant (that is weird) but about how we're feeling. So it feels like utter shit that he won't speak to me. Omar and I have been working on our project in class. Since I've been down, I haven't been speaking to him much but he hasn't been trying to talk to me either. Zoe knows everything, as per usual but I'm so drained that I feel like I'm not giving anyone anything. I spoke to Malcolm about seeing my dad when I was on drugs and he suggested I should speak to a therapist. I think he genuinely meant it. I don't want to know who my dad was though but I want to know why he showed up that night in my head because I rarely think about him. I feel like shit has just gone downhill. I want to know what happened to Max. 

Art is going well, we have another week or two to finish our project. Omar and I are nearly finished so we have been required to do another few pieces individually and then one final art piece that we do together. I am sat in lessons and the chair next to me is empty. 'Where is Mr Johnson?' 'I'm not sure, Sir'. I put my head down and begin to write facts about this artist when I hear whispers from behind me and then a slightly louder 'No fucking way, he raped her?' 'My eyes dart up. I tune in. 'Yeah at Lancaster's party, she was up in his bedroom trying to sober up and then Max goes upstairs and a few minutes later she comes outside and is sobbing telling everyone what he had done. I feel myself gag. My heart nearly falling out my chest, I close my textbook, fill my bag up with my belongings, I push open the door and walk straight out. 'Miss Leao? Miss Leao you have not been excused to-' I walk through the corridor, the voice getting distant, the noise of my footsteps are getting too much and my vision starts to get a bit blurry. Surely that is a lie, my brother would never do anything like that. I didn't want it to be true, he would never ever do that. He would never ever do that. 

I have to stop walking. I walk to the caretakers closet, I open it and go inside. I fall down onto my knees and start to sob. It is dark and smells of bleach but I just need to calm down. I won't even be able to go home and be in the same house as him until I calm myself down. Zoe is in a lesson and I can't message Malcolm because he will be at work. 'Hey it's Omar, got your number from the phonebook, sorry if that's weird.' I re-read this message, it's the only person I have. 'Hi Omar, it's Amelia. Are you busy?' I've sent it and I sit amongst the dustpans, mops and brushes with my head on my knees. Minutes pass and no reply. I think about what I am going to do, run away? Change my name, shave my head? I then get to thinking about getting plastic surgery until I feel my phone buzz [One unread message] 'Oh hey, was just doing something but I'm free now is everything okay? Sorry I couldn't be with you during lesson.' I feel myself smile slightly. 'Something has happened and I need someone to talk to and everyone else is busy. You're not a last resort you just... weren't my first? It is okay if not :)' An almost instant response. 'Sure, I'm going to drive to the carpark now at school and we can have a chat?' I send a thumbs up back and lay my head back. I have calmed down but I am actually finding comfort in this closet until I hear the door open. The caretaker jumps and drops his spray bottle, 'Oh shit, sorry.' He just nods understandingly, 'isn't the first time' and he moves out the way so I can leave.  I get to the carpark and I stand by the tall tree and I just wait. 

20 minutes pass and he is nowhere to be seen. I should have guessed. I start to walk to the bus stop to just go home until a small black van honks its horn at me. I jump and the window rolls down and Omar is looking at me confused shouting 'where are you going!' 'You took ages!' I shout back and I watch him pull into the bus stop. I run towards the van and open the door. 'Leather interior? I didn't notice this the first time you kidnapped me!' 'Didn't kidnap, saved your life. Other people I've let sleep in the back of my van after taking a drug, I assume they'd never done, would call me an irresistible, heroic vigilante.' I laugh, hard. I didn't expect to laugh this hard but I feel like his shit joke was what I needed. He smiles as he looks at me laughing at his joke and then looks back on the road. He is so beautiful. I cringe as I think that but I end up staring at the side of his face. He has such a beautiful nose, it's quite big but it has this perfect arch and a strong bridge. He has a beard which I never really noticed before but it's short and trim, really compliments his structure of face... or whatever. He looks at me and I quickly look away. I really hoped he wouldn't bring up that I was just staring at him. 'So what did you want to talk about?' 'Yeah so erm, after Leon's, I didn't see Max for a while.' 'Oh?' 'Yeah, and he came home a few days later, his hands covered in blood and his lip cut and he hasn't spoke to me since he came home.' 'Shit.' 'Yeah, and then today in Art I overhear people saying...' He looks at me. I swallow loudly. 'Saying what?' 'Saying he...' 'Yeahhhh?' 'Saying he raped someone.' Omar doesn't say anything he just stares ahead onto the road. I don't say anything either. 'Omar?' 'Obviously we don't exactly know if that is the truth?' 'Well I don't know it for a fact but it's a bit of wild thing to make up.' 'You'd be surprised.' He sounds bitter. 'Oh?' 'Gemma Ivy did this thing a while ago with me. We were at a party and I went upstairs, I didn't feel too good and I needed to lie down but she followed me upstairs. Started taking her clothes off in front of me and I was telling her to put them on because I didn't like her like that. She didn't listen though, kept saying shit like what kind of guy doesn't want a naked woman with him and she kept calling me gay and shit.' 'What the fuck.' 'I know. I get up and try to walk to the door but she blocks it and says if I leave this room without sleeping with her then she's going to tell everyone I raped her. So I slept with her. I was so ashamed after. I didn't really want to but there was no way I was letting her say shit like that about me. She swore she'd not say that again but I told her it was never happening again. She won't leave me alone now but she promised that she wouldn't use it against me.' I almost tear up. 'Omar that is really really not cool.' 'Yeah she is a freak, I think she told me she is moving away soon to Canada, Toronto. Anyway, about your brother, get home, talk to him, see what's really happened, then go from there.' 'Yeah I will, could you drop me home please?' So he does.