𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐒! 𝐬.𝐭 imagines.

the last straw ⟡

TW mental health, depression, suicide

(don't worry y/n doesn't die 😭)

bubble- tiffany day

y/n pov:

These past few weeks had been the hardest weeks of your life. Ever since Matt broke up with you, you hadn't seen neither Chris or Nick, or anyone for that matter. You isolated yourself because of the words Matt had spoken to you that day, that hour, those long minutes of shouting. You always knew Matt to be respectful with boundaries anyone he was around had set, especially when it came to you. He'd known your past. He'd known how bad your ocd and anxiety were, considering the fact he was your number one supporter. You'd thought everything was going pretty fucking well, and he had too. You were living your best life, the life you'd thought you deserved. It was a fresh breath of air after all that you had pushed forward through all these years.

From your parents kicking you out at 16, all the way back to your suicide attempt at 13. He'd always tried his best to make sure you felt appreciated every second of your life to make sure you knew you mattered. And you did for a while, you did feel like you mattered. You felt like you had a purpose in the life you'd always known to pull you down. You'd always said to yourself that you wouldn't know where you would be, if you were here at all without the triplets, specifically Matt. And now that you truly were in that situation, you didn't know what to do with yourself. The pain was sharp and numb. You felt severely disconnected, you slept for hours upon hours having to forcefully pick yourself up from a long slumber. You assumed you had nothing left to lose.

This resulted in your thoughts drifting you in areas you never wanted to return to. Areas Matt had promised to patch up permanently. He completely blinded you from your past. But it didn't matter anymore, it didn't matter what you shared with Matt anymore. You were all alone. You chose to be alone. Little did you know the behind the scenes of the whole situation.

Matt on the other hand would pace back and forth in his room every day as if he was nearing insanity. He knew you from the inside out, and he knew you were truly on the brink of existence. He panicked every day. He'd also isolate himself in his dark empty room. His brothers were extremely worried at one point because he hadn't walked out of his room in a couple days, meaning he was starving. Matt would go hours staring at the ceiling contemplating, regretting, worrying. He obviously still loved you, and knew how badly he messed up with that one line.

flashback

"Matt pl-please stop your hurting my ears" you spoke, flinching at the sound of his voice.

He groans tilting his head back while running his hand through his hair. "fucking hell" he mutters.

"GOD why do you have to be such a fucking baby?" he yelled, with now a louder voice then before. He looked as if he was trying his hardest to calm himself down, but at this moment nothing mattered more than wanting you gone.

You could sense he was tensed with a whole lot of emotions. Anger, frustration, guilt, regret,, panic.

You cried quietly, wiping every tear away as soon as it rolled down your cheeks. Your breath became unsteady, you felt yourself panicking. You hadn't dealt with your panic attacks alone in a long amount of time, because usually Matt would comfort you and help you through it, but as of now he was the cause of it. You knew he was hurting secretly, but you seemed to not sympathise with him as he continued to shout awful things about you. Things only your parents would say.

"Your so soft y/n grow the fuck up!!"

"I can't be with you every step of the way, you're 20!"