The Exit - Oscar Piastri FF

11. - Heartbreaks and summer days

I feel my heart race when I exit the plane. How would I react, seeing him again? How would he react, and what would he say? I usually loved coming to Monaco, but somehow, this time I hated it. He had made me hate it. I take a deep breath and make it out of the airport and to his car, which was parked somewhere quiet so that we wouldn't get caught - like always. I enter the car without a word. I can't even look at him at this point, let alone greet him. I feel his eyes on me, but he doesn't say a word either before he starts the car and we drive to his apartment. 

"Would you like something to eat? Or drink?" He asks carefully once we're sat down on opposite sides of his couch. "No, thanks... I'd like to just get this over with," I reply, my voice weak and eyes on the ground. "I don't wanna break up, Yn, please..." He scoots closer to me and grabs my hands. I turn my body towards him, and I look up at him for the first time since I had arrived. "I can't stay with you after that, Max. I can't and I won't. I deserve better," I explain, but I feel a sense of regret, even though I had made up my mind the second I had heard of what he had done. 

"It was just one kiss. It didn't mean anything to me! I was so drunk, I barely even remember it..." He says, trying to justify what he had done as if it would make me feel better. But it didn't. Not in the slightest. "So, while I was home, mourning my dead parents and missing my boyfriend, who was supposed to be with me... You were out, getting drunk, and throwing our whole relationship away, and for what? For a snog with your ex-girlfriend..." I spat, and he now he was the one not looking at me. I could see the tears fall down his face, as they were threatening to fall down mine as well, but I kept my composure. 

"I'm so so sorry, Schat. I'll regret that for the rest of my days, but please... Please understand, that I never wanted to hurt you. Part of me thought we were already over! That you and Oscar-" I scoffed and got up, my anger boiling inside me. "Here we go again, Max! Can you stop making our problems about him?!" Max got up and gave me a look of defeat. He didn't even get upset or riled up like he usually would. It was like he was at peace, and he had come to some sort of acceptance.

"I know it isn't solely about him... But, Yn... We both know, that he doesn't see you as just a friend. And I think, that somewhere, deep inside of you, you feel the same way about him too..." He reached out and took my hands again. His soft voice had calmed me down a little, and when he sat back down, I did so too. I listened to what he had to say, but something inside me couldn't quite accept that he was right. But he was. He was right.

"Just because you have feelings for him, doesn't mean you don't have for me too. Because I know you do. You love me, I can feel it." He reached over to place his hand on my cheek, and feeling his touch made me feel a warm sensation inside. "Can we please move past this, I swear, I will never let my jealousy get in the way again..." He moved closer to me as he spoke, and part of me wanted to do as he said. My eyes were stuck on his until they moved from my eyes to my lips and he closed the gap between us, placing his lips on mine. The kiss was warm and desperate. It made me feel so many emotions at once, to the point where I couldn't even think. I kissed him back, but I didn't know if it was because I wanted to, or if it was my pure instinct to do so.

My hands ended up in his hair, whilst his were roaming my body and pulling me in. He pulled me onto his lap without breaking the kiss, and the moment I felt his hand at the hem of my shirt, running his fingers against the bare skin on my waist, I knew I had to stop now or I wouldn't be able to later. So, I pulled away from the kiss, catching my breath before I opened my eyes again. Max was already staring back at me, and I could tell he was hopeful. Hopeful that this wouldn't be the end of us. "I can't do this Max..." I whispered, a tear finally escaping my eye when I saw his expression fall completely. "When I look at you now, all I can think about is her... And how you chose to be here with her, instead of with me, when you had promised me you would..." I stutter over my words and struggle to get them out, as I tear up even more and the tears run down nonstop. Max nods his head and looks down. When I get off him, he takes a deep breath.