The Exit - Oscar Piastri FF

6. - Apologies

"I'll be right out here, okay? If you need me, let me know." Max said, grabbing my hand right before I was about to knock on the door to Oscar's hotel room. "I know, my love. Thank you for coming with me," I smile at him nervously, kissing him on his cheek before taking a deep breath while knocking on the door. It didn't take more than a few seconds before the door swung open, revealing a happy Oscar. His expression dropped, however, as soon as he noticed that Max was there too. "Don't worry mate, I'm just dropping her off," Max said, trying to act nice. He then kissed my cheek before letting go of my hand, letting me head inside the room, while he stayed in the hall.

"He doesn't trust you or something?" Oscar mumbled, to which I rolled my eyes while sitting down on a chair. "Not me. You." I just replied, and he sat down in front of me. "Would you like something to drink? Water? Tea?-" He started, obviously just as nervous as I was, but failing to hide it. "Just get to the point, please. You wanted to explain yourself, and I really want that explanation." I said, cutting straight to the point.

"Okay... So I guess, start from the beginning then?" He asked and I just nodded, so he continued. "Alright... So, back when I was having all those conversations with Alpine, about the F1 seat, there were things I didn't tell you about them... You see, Otmar didn't speak very fondly of many drivers during those meetings. You included. I couldn't say anything, 'cause it could get us both fired, but he would always talk shit like women shouldn't be in motorsports and whatnot," He started, which made my heart drop. I never knew Otmar to be that kind of man. He was always very kind to me...

"As the meetings went on, he got more and more comfortable sharing his thoughts, and suddenly all he ever really talked about was former or current drivers, who, in his opinion, weren't worthy of their seats." He explained, but I had to ask, "Why didn't you ever tell me about this?" He let out a sigh, looking at me with eyes full of guilt. "I know now that that's what I should have done, but back then you were lacking so much confidence, and you always cared what others thought about you, as a person and as a driver. I couldn't bring myself to tell you that your own team principal said those awful things... I thought you might have given up on F1 if I did..." He was right. I probably would have given up back then, had he told me that...

"As time went on, I decided that I didn't want to be with Alpine after all, so I took contact to the only other offer I had gotten, and started having meetings with McLaren. I didn't tell you because then I'd have to tell you why I wouldn't want to stay with Alpine, and had I made some excuse, you would've gotten the seat and ended up with a team that didn't believe in you. You couldn't have gotten a career out of it. Not like the one you deserve anyway..." I took a deep breath, taking all the information in, but I still needed more answers. 

"Then... After everything, you cut me off, because...?" I asked, and he looked down. "Because I was ashamed of having lied to you for so long... I know I made choices on your behalf and kept important information from you, but Con, back then you were so weak... So fragile... I couldn't let their dumb opinions tear you and your whole career apart." He furrowed his eyebrows, seemingly thinking back on the time. "So, you'd rather have me lose my only two real friends?..." I mumbled, getting emotional at the thought.

"I would rather be the bad guy in the story of your big success, than the best friend and only support in the story of your dreams being crushed... Racing is the one thing you love the most, I couldn't let that get taken away from you. I even spoke to Red Bull and Max about it, all of it, so that they would give you a chance last season!" As I heard those words come out of his mouth, it was almost as if time stopped. Completely. "Max knew all of this?" I asked, not knowing how to feel about it all. "I asked all of them not to tell you anything, cause I wanted to be the one to do it when the time was right and you were strong enough." There was a moment of silence until the next question popped up in my mind.

"You always looked at me as if you hated me, after that..." I stated, hoping for an explanation for that as well. "I never hated you, Yn. I hated the fact that I couldn't just tell you everything and let it all go back to the way it was. Moreover, I hated myself... And hated the fact that I let you and Max get so close..." He trailed off in the end, and the last part came out more like a mumble. But I heard him, loud and clear.

"What's wrong with that?" I asked, but he was no longer looking at me. He was looking at his hands. "That night... Yn, that night was the best night of my life..." I frowned, knitting my eyebrows together. "I thought it was a mistake?" I let out, and he finally looked up at me, his whole face filled with a mix of sadness, regret, and frustration. "When I woke up, I completely panicked, so I left and sent that message because I wasn't ready to tell you everything yet... I was selfish. Again..." 

"So, what does that mean then?" I was wanting an answer to clarify, if what I thought it meant was right. And it was... "It means that I love you, Yn Connor... I'm crazy about you. Always have been." He had reached over and grabbed my hands, holding them tightly in his own. "I've had a crush on you since forever, Con... And I let you go for one year, and he just comes in and takes you away from me..." A tear fell from his eye, down his cheek, and it completely broke my heart. Out of the million different scenarios I had played out in my head, this one had never been one of them. 

"I'm sorry, Oscar... I love him..." I whisper, now feeling a tear escape my eye as well, but Oscar was quick to reach up and wipe it off my cheek. "I can see that... Don't be sorry, okay? I'm sorry..." He whispered back, and with that, he stood up, pulling me with him and directly into his arms. Into a hug that I had been missing for over a year now. A hug that could comfort me like no other. The hug of my best friend in the whole world. "I've missed you, Osc..." I admit, tightening my grip around him, and so does he. "I missed you too, Con..."

The car ride back to Max's place was completely silent, but as soon as we got into his apartment, and the door was closed, he spoke up. "So, what did he say?" Max asked carefully, and I couldn't help but look at him almost with annoyance. "What, besides what you already know?" I knew it wasn't fair to put that on him like that, but I couldn't help but feel betrayed that he had hidden something like that from me. He, out of everyone, was the person who knew best how much it had hurt me. "Yn, he asked me not to say anything..." Max tried, sitting down beside me on the couch. "I know... I'm sorry, it's just a lot to take in," I looked down, still processing it all, when I felt his hand on top of mine.

"What else did he say?" He asked hesitantly, but I could tell that he already had a good idea. I took a moment to phrase it in my head, but it all came back to just getting straight to the point. "He told me he loved me..." I admitted and heard him sigh. "And what did you say? What do you feel...?" He asked carefully, but I immediately looked up at him, and the sight broke my heart. His eyes were full of tears, some had already made it down his cheeks, so I quickly cupped his face in my hands. "Maxie... No, don't cry baby, no..." I wiped his tears as they fell, but he just stared back at me waiting for me to continue.

"Max, I love you. Okay? I'm yours. Just yours." I say, tearing up as well, before bringing him into my embrace. He put his head down on my chest and wrapped his arms around my waist tightly, allowing me to wrap my fingers in his hair. After a while, he sits back up properly and wipes away the rest of his tears, before looking back at me with a small smile. "I don't think I've ever been as scared as I was, waiting for you today... I know how important he was for you, and doing what he did for you, it shows that he truly loves you, you know? And then after you told me that you slept together... I thought I had lost you..." He looks down, and I reach over to take his hands in mine. "Ik Hou Van Jou, Max..." I say, which he immediately reacts to, by looking up with shining eyes. His mood immediately changed, when he realised that I had learned how to say 'I love you' in Dutch for him. A smile grew on his lips, which only made me smile as well.

"How did you learn that?" He asked, to which I just shrugged my shoulders, "You learned dutch?" He then asked in disbelief, but I shook my head. "Just a few useful phrases. How was my pronunciation?" I then asked, causing a small giggle to leave his lips. "It was perfect, Schat. The best thing I've heard in my life!" And with that, he wrapped his arms around me excitedly, pulling me down on the couch along with him, beginning to leave kisses all over my face, while repeating "I love you, I love you, I love you"