Vacant luxury {Kai Parker}

welcome to paradise

"We need strawberries, eggs, milk, and ooh candles." Bonnie says grabbing a few candles and placing them in the cart.

"I know it's been a while, but you couldn't do magic as an anchor, so I'm curious what momentary lapse of reason makes you think you can do it now." Damon leans on the handle while pushing the cart.

"You know, when all this started, you sucked at making pancakes, and now they're somewhat edible." I press my lips together trying not to laugh.

"Milk." Damon points totally ignoring Bonnie.

"There's no reason to be peter pessimist." She grabs the milk anyways and places it in the cart. "We have proof we're not alone." She refers to the crossword, which Kai filled out.

"First of all don't nickname. That's my thing. And this proof, this mysteriously filled in crossword, could very easily have been you."

"But it wasn't." I remark quietly. We've been following these two around since they got here four months ago. I took my magic back then aswell and using an invisible spell for both me and Kai. Kai wasn't with me now, which i'm kind of glad he wasn't. Although, I would never say that out loud. He is my boyfriend after all. But once we get out, I'm going to leave him. I need a break, end of story.

"I didn't fill it in." Bonnie insists.

"No. You don't know you filled it in. You also don't know that you talk in your sleep. Eggs." Damon rolls his eyes and keeps moving down the aisle at a slow pace.

"What are you saying? Are you saying I sleep crossword?"

"I'm saying it makes more sense than the alternative."

"I get what you're doing."

"What am I doing?"

"You refuse to have hope that you'll see Elena again so you don't have to be disappointed."

"I refuse to have hope because there's nothing to hope for."

"Pork rinds." here we go.

"Not on the list and eww." Kai could've picked anything but he went with pork rinds.

"No, Damon.There were pork rinds here on this shelf." Bonnie is in awe while Damon is not buying it at all. "There have been pork rinds here on every shopping trip we've had for the past 4 months." Kai set the timer on the merry go round out in the front of the shop and now the chiming melody begins to play. what perfect timing.

"You hear that, Damon? That's what hope sounds like."

***

"Rough day, huh, Damon? Sorry. Manners. I'm Kai. Nice to meet you. Pork rind?"  kai is eating the pork rinds, it gets increasingly loud with every bite.

"That is gonna have to stop."

"Oh, you think this is annoying? Hmm." he takes another bite. now he's asking for it. "Try listening to you and Bonnie bicker every 5 minutes."

"So you've been following us."

"Of course I have." the plan was not to mention me, i'd come in later and try to be friends with Bonnie. "You two are the closest thing I have a to a TV. I mean, you're no 'Baywatch,' but - Remember 'Baywatch'?"

"No, I do not."

"Oh. Oh, man, you gotta watch it.You like lifeguards, like hot ones?" Kai still acts like he's 22 which I don't know if I admire that or think he's a complete immature little shit. Is there an option for both?

"This has been a monumentally bad day in a sea of bad days, so I'm gonna need to know who you are, what you're doing here, and how it relates to me, or I'm gonna rip your throat out." Damon's eyes widen eager to kill Kai. I think everyone wants to kill Kai when they first meet him, I mean, he just wants to be killed.

"Temper's gonna get you in trouble, Damon. It's already driven Bonnie away how many times? Oh, oh, oh, wait. I know. 13." he's so fucking annoying. I think i would've at least tried to kill him already.

"You think my temper's bad with her? I like her. You not so much."

"Ok. Ok. Sorry. Seriously. I'm just kind of rusty on the face-to-face type human interactions." he's such a liar, we talked just before this. I shake my head but somehow, I end up smiling.

"Answers now."

"Maybe you should have a drink. That usually calms you down."

"Thanks." Damon says it but I know he's completely weirded out. He walks over to the shelf of liquor grabbing a bottle.

"Then makes you angry, then sad, then calm again. It's a weird cycle, and look, if you really want to know the reason I'm following you, it's because I want to kill you." right when he says that last bit Damon took a large drink. i wince hearing the sizzling sounds his skin makes when making contact to vervain.

i block out the unfriendly banter exchanged between the two idiots. i sit on the patio chair- helping myself to the bag of pork rinds. that's when Bonnie shows up, she squints at the wick of a candle and Kai was right, her magic came back. "Uh-oh." kai seems genuinely scared. he is such a a good actor.

"bravo, bravo" I clap my hands, making myself laugh. I know they can't hear or see me, which is so cool. Kai is the only one who knows I'm here, yet he acts like I'm not. Seeing people just casually go about their days is cool. It's a great TV program- like Kai mentioned earlier.

Bonnie tells to Damon to run blah,blah his bitch ass leaves then she lights up the aisle. Resulting in Kai putting his hands up surrendering and muttering a few 'ok's.

"Giving up so soon? I'm embarrassed for you."

"Sorry I called you the most annoying person in the world. I hadn't met him yet." Damon remarks making me laugh.

try living with him for 18 years. granted we've only actually known each other for the past 6 years but we existed on the same planet for 18. Well, wait if we're going to get technical about it we've lived on the same planet as the other for 40 years. ew, we're old. I crinkle my nose in disgust. We may look 22 but we're 40.. oh my god.

***

I'm not really listening to this part when Kai wakes, I just sit on the couch and wait. Me and Kai have been preoccupying ourselves with them when we really never got to discuss the events before Bonnie and Damon entered our world- which we didn't think anyone would ever come here. We overheard something about the other side collapsing. I'm glad the coven decided not to kill me. After I got my magic back, I've noticed myself slowly becoming my old self; the person they threw in here to punish.

"We're on the same team." Kai whines, which i'm not sure if I hated it or loved it. I try not think about it and tried focusing my attention towards the actual conversation.

"Really? Do you always try and kill your teammates?" Yes, he does.

"The important thing is that you have your magic back. It worked. What, you you didn't really think I'd kill Damon, did you? In what universe does that make sense? Who would kill 1/4 of our population? I'm not a monster. I knew Bonnie would show up. She always comes back, all 13 times, and I knew with the right motivation she'd be able to access her magic, although I-I did get a little worried with all your bickering that Damon's life wouldn't be enough motivation, but turns out it was. I guess that's just how you two show your love."

"So you did all that just to make sure I would have my magic?"

"Of course I did. Because your magic is the key to getting the hell out of here."

"Wait. You said 1/4 of our population, there is only three of us?" Damon states but it sounds like more of a question. Kai just smirks, everything is going just as planned.