We don't talk about Jouno

Famous last words

It wasn't the thought of having to deal with the world's greatest detective, and all his annoying behaviors. It wasn't even the thought of having to try and play nice with the bad-tempered detective while Fukuzawa and Fukuchi acted all lovey dovey. Oh, no. It was the half hour car ride that Jouno had to spend with Fukuchi that had put Jouno in such a state of anxiety. So far, Jouno had only had a few conversations with his sort of boss since he'd gone back to his sixteen year old self. He knew that logically, he would probably have to talk to Fukuchi at some point. He just didn't know that point was today. "So, you don't mind if I play all Taylor Swift, do you?" Fukuchi said. "And fair warning, I sing along." Jouno sighed. "Shoot me now."

That wasn't the right answer. "What was that?" Fukuchi asked. "Nothing." Jouno said. The two sat in awkward silence while Fukuchi drove. "Is something bothering you, kid?" Fukuchi finally asked, the emotion in his voice unreadable. "Nothing." Jouno repeated. "It's clearly not nothing." Fukuchi replied. Jouno kept reminding himself that Fukuchi in this timeline wasn't the bad guy. He wasn't going to try to kill Jouno. Jouno could use his power to get out of the car at any point if he had to. He was safe. Jouno's fear was still through the roof, though.

"You've been awfully distant lately." Fukuchi said. "Don't tell me it's because Teruko warned you about our detective friend." He said that last part with a laugh, like it was some kind of inside joke. "Look. Jouno. I know something's off. Whatever it is, you can tell me." Yeah, that'd go well. Jouno could just tell Fukuchi he'd tried to kill him, tried to kill Fukuzawa, and almost succeeded at taking over the world. Hector would sound like he'd lost his mind. "It's Tetchou, isn't it?" Fukuchi said. "No, it is most definitely not Tetchou." Jouno fired back. Jouno clearly didn't want to talk about what was going on. But Fukuchi had never had the most social skills ever.

Jouno's nerves froze as Fukuchi slowly pulled the car to a stop. "I don't actually want to take you to see Fukuzawa." Fukuchi said. "I mean, I do, but I don't think today is the best timing ever. I know something's seriously wrong, and I thought it best to talk this out without everyone else around." Fukuchi took a deep breath. "Jouno. You're the closest thing I've ever had to a son." The last time Fukuchi had said that, it was a few seconds before he stabbed Jouno seventeen times. Yeah, Jouno was so ready to dematerialize out of the car.

"The way you've been acting lately...it's like you're scared of me. Did something change?" Even if Fukuchi didn't run the decay of angels in this timeline, that didn't mean he'd be the flawless hero everyone thought him to be. Fukuchi might still go way overboard on missions, and he wouldn't be that opposed to getting rid of Jouno to prevent that from getting out. Jouno's mind raced. If he gave the wrong answer here, he was getting a one way ticket to stab city. Jouno needed some kind of an answer, one that explained his behavior, but also didn't get him killed. "I know what happened to my parents."

Jouno blurted the first thing that came to mind. He had no idea what actually happened to his parents. He knew that Fukuchi claimed to have killed them, though, and hoped this would hit the mark. "Oh. Oh, Jouno." Fukuchi said. "How did you find out?" That wasn't the reaction Jouno thought he was going to get. The Fukuchi that Jouno knew would have yelled at him, or at least tried to deny it. But this Fukuchi wasn't. He was just sitting there and being sad.

"So it's true?" Jouno asked. Fukuchi nodded. "I'd been hoping you'd never have to find out. One of your criminal contacts, maybe." Jouno just nodded along. "How much do you know?" Fukuchi asked. Jouno ran a hand through his hair. "Just that you killed my parents." Fukuchi suddenly put his head against the steering wheel, setting off the horn. "God, Jouno. No wonder you've hated me." Jouno didn't know what to do here. So, he just sat and listened.

"Your parents...they weren't good people." Fukuchi started. "Serial killers, if I'm going to be blunt." Jouno's insides turned to ice. He'd been a kid when his parents died. He had no idea what they actually did. But from what he remembered of them, he knew they loved him. He wasn't quite sure he could imagine them being mass murderers. But from his heartbeat, Fukuch wasn't lying.

"I'd tracked them down, moving through mountains and forests and everywhere in between." Fukuchi said. That tracked. Jouno remembered traveling a lot with his parents before they were killed. "Eventually, I caught up with them." Fukuchi said. "I fought your father for fifty days straight before his body gave out." Realization flooded through Jouno. He remembered the headlines about Fukuch fighting 'the semi immortal ability user called the wasp for fifty days.' One of Fukuchi's crowning achievements. But here...he didn't sound proud. He just sounded sad.

"After that, I tried to get your mother to surrender. I really did, Jouno. But her ability was one that created explosions. If I didn't stop her, she would have taken the whole town down with her. So I did what I had to do. There are times I really hate my job, Jouno. It's why I drink so much. Everyone sees me as this great hero, but I can barely live with myself. I left a kid an orphan. I've killed countless people in similar impossible situations. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I should be strong enough to save everyone, with a power like mine. I don't know. I just know I'm not worthy. Of leading this team. Of being so loved by the nation. Of Fukuzawa."

There were very few times in Jouno's life that he was struck speechless. Fukuchi wasn't about to try to kill Jouno. He was having an emotional breakdown. "Uh, there, there." Jouno tried weakly. "I'm sure things will go back to normal now that you cleared things up. If you had to kill my parents to save everyone else, I won't hold that against you. I'm upset they were serial killers, sure, but I don't hate you. And, uh, I'm sure no one else will either?"

That was the best he could come up with. No one had ever done anything like this in front of Jouno before, and this wasn't just anybody. It was Fukuchi. Jouno hated Fukuchi more than he hated ableism. But, right now, Fukuchi was crying. Like, actual tears and sniffling. Jouno had no idea what to do here. Half of him wanted to tell Fukuchi that yes, he deserved all this angst and then some as a punishment for what he'd done. But the rational part of Jouno's mind reminded him that this wasn't the same Fukuchi he had known in the past timeline. This was someone different, and someone who seemed to have a lot more of a conscience.

"Do you really mean that? You don't hate me?" Fukuchi asked. "Yeah?" Jouno said awkwardly. He didn't hate Fukuchi for that particular offense, anyway, so it wasn't technically a lie. "Hey, uh, you know someone who can probably handle...whatever this is better than me?" Jouno asked. "Fukuzawa." That seemed to get Fukuchi's attention. "You wanted to go visit him, right?" Jouno asked. "Let's do that. I'm sure you...maybe won't be as sad if you go see your boyfriend?" Jouno usually didn't like 'letting the adults handle the problem.' He was sixteen, and could handle most things himself. But an upset Fukuchi was not one of them.

"Yeah, sure, okay." Fukuchi finally said. "That sounds like a good idea." He paused. "But, you do know what his kid's personality is like, right?" Oh, did Jouno ever. He had been forced to hang out with the bad-tempered detective for six years in the previous timeline. A cruel and unusual punishment, in Jouno's opinion. God, he hoped Ranpo was different this time around. He had to be, right? It wasn't like things could get any worse. In Jouno's world, though? Those were famous last words.