17 | geminifourth

26.

People say, high school love is something you have out of boredom. When you date someone in high school, you know that you will eventually break up, but you still choose to stay by your partner's side.

When i first met Gemini, i was also thinking the same. Actually, no, my society was making me think that way. When i told my friends about our relationship, they didn't have any hope for us to get married or even get along.

Norawit Titicharoenrak, probably the cutest and also the hottest guy in my school. Him and i met at our young and sweet seventeens. I always thought that, a guy like him would never be into boys. He seemed unreachable, unforgettable. He was a top tier, everyone wished to be him, or be his.

When i met him, i realized that, he wasn't like anything like how people described him. He was a gentleman. He was caring, thoughtful, loving, kind and everything. I could never imagine that my feelings for him wouldn't be one sided.

Eventually, when we spent more time together, i realized my feelings. He made me feel so special. I was really happy to have him, and, the 5th month we met, i confessed my feelings to him.

I confessed at the beach. We were visiting it so often, we were having picnics and a lot fun there.

When we first officially announced our relationship, everyone was in a little shock. I was so scared. I really was. I thought that they will think that i wasn't enough for him. I thought they will see me like a slut, just like one of Gemini's bitches.

They didn't even know Gemini was a freaking virgin.

But actually people reacted way better than i was expecting. They all congratulated me, no one, literally no one was upset or mad at me.

This boy, on his early eighteenths, made me feel like the best person ever. Our 4th month together, he officially announced our relationship and walked to the cafeteria while holding my hand. He wasn't scared of judgement. He wasn't ashamed of having me as his boyfriend.

Soon enough, he made my standards so high. I knew my worth. I knew that i wasn't just a shy guy anymore. I knew who i was, and especially i was happy to know that i was his boyfriend.

But, our story was ruined.

Yes, he was the right person, and it was the right time.

But the situation he was in wasn't right.

Gemini's mom and dad got divorced because they didn't get along very well. Just a week after their divorce, Gemini's mom announced her new marriage. Then she also explained that she was having an affair.

Gemini was broken to the point where he wasn't even doing the things he loved. But i was so happy that, he didn't push me away.

Instead, i would always secretly sneak out and come to his room every midnight. He would sleep in my arms for hours, due to his strong medicine. I wasn't happy to see him this way.

I wanted my happy boy back. I wanted to see his smile again. In this point, i just knew that i was so deeply in love with Gemini, and him being sad was the end of my fucking world.

Slowly, everything was settled down very well. Gemini's wasn't seeing his mom and his stepfather. He was mostly staying with me, with my parents confirmation. He never left my side, and i am happy he didn't.

We attended therapies together, i let him cry in my arms after each therapy. Even though he had so many professionals in this case, he always told me that i was the only thing that helped him.

I was going to do the mistake of my life.

And i did it.

When we both turned 19, i insisted that Gemini visit his mom and stepfather, and at least stay with them for a day. He was literally addicted to me, he almost cried when i told him these. He didn't want to leave my side, as he said.

I wish i wasn't so persistent. I wish i wasn't stubborn. If you would understand how much i hate myself right now, you would probably hate me or hate yourself.

He did as i said and stayed a night with his mom and stepdad. I had a weird feeling in my gut.

I wish my gut feelings were wrong.

I couldn't sleep, until this shit happened. As soon as i was slowly drifting to sleep, i heard a hard knock on my door. My parents weren't home so at first i was scared to open it. But, when i finally had the guts to open the door, the view i saw made my heart break into pieces.

It was my precious boy, it was my boyfriend.

He was staying infront of my door, his eyes bawled because of crying, and he had his clothes torn. As soon as he saw me he started sobbing worse.

"Why did you insist this much? You knew i wouldn't say no to you.. why did you do this to me.."

I pulled him inside, looking totally devastated of his view. He was wet because of the heavy rain outside. He was sobbing and trying to control his voice, but he was still shining as usual.

This was the moment when I understood that all that therapy, medicines were gone for him. Regret started to make me feel breathless, knowing that filthy man tried to touch my pretty boy, while i couldn't even hug him properly to not make him feel uncomfortable. He stayed in my lap all night long without sleeping, just crying. I didn't, i couldn't say anything. The only thing i could do was to stare at him and sing him a song while caressing his head.

Singing, this'll be the day that i die,
This will be the day that i die.

And the next day, he turned into the man you knew all along to this way. He accepted to marry me just for his respect to our relationship. He stopped hugging and kissing me, making me feel like a fucking stranger in my own house. His heart was frozen, and i did my best to melt that ice again and see myself there.

Now, do you understand, why i never backed up from pursuing him again and again?

It wasn't because i was a naive kid.

It was because i loved him.

I wanted to melt his frozen heart and make him the same again. I wanted everything back. I wanted my pretty baby back to me. I did my best to actually change him, but now I realize that, even though he has changed, he will never be the same boy again.

His stepfather got arrested, and after that, Gemini stopped using skinship with me. That's why i never actually insisted.

This was a lesson for both of us.

Rule 1: Never, ever try to be stubborn and persistent over someone's life choices. You might actually ruin their life and stay guilty forever.

Rule 2: Even though you have problems, don't try to make them as excuses and throw your inner rage to someone else. It might end up you losing them and stay alone.

From my lesson and perspective, i don't care if Gemini forgave me now. I will still save this moment somewhere in my heart.

From Gemini's lesson and perspective, he also doesn't care about forgiveness now. He only wants me to be comfortable with him and he promised as soon as he makes everything right for us, we will get remarried and have a magical wedding.

Thanks to my husband from here actually. I'm happy that i didn't back off.

So let me say,

See you in our wedding :)

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Backstory of their love because chapters were texting so you didn't know what happened to Gemini to turn him like this. Last chapter after this!