Tear In My Heart

Last Night On Earth

Sorry for not updating I'm really bad at doing that....
   so uh, tw for blood, suicide, overdosing in this chapter. I hope I'll update this more in the future.

(also, this is taking place now in the summer. schools out. forget that project they were doing.)
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   The next morning, I woke up before Josh. I was surprised as to why he was in my bed, but I soon remembered everything from last night. He was curled up, head against my chest. I nudged him to wake him up.

   "Tyler, it's so early." Josh groaned, rubbing his eyes.

   "What? It's ten in the morning, that's not really early."

   "I usually sleep until noon." Josh mumbled, still half-asleep.

   "Well, my mom's at work, so I'll make breakfast. You wanna go to the kitchen or are you too tired?" I teased him. Josh slowly got out of bed, lightly smacking my arm.

--

   "Oh yeah, I probably should've said this like, last night, but I called my mom and told her I was staying here for the night. I didn't tell her about what happened." Josh said as he stuffed a giant bite of pancake into his mouth.  I nodded. I had learned by now that his parents don't really care where he goes, which was pretty sad.

    I was taking my last bite of my pancake when Josh suggested that we play video games. I agreed, racing him to my room. Josh went through my games, choosing Mario Kart.

   "Dude, this game is so old! All of 'em are! Do you ever get new games?" He asked, sitting on my bed next to me.

   I shrugged. "I never really wanted any games. Never asked for new ones. I guess I was too busy with basketball."

   Josh sighed. I could tell he didn't really want to play any of my games, but that was okay. I really didn't want to either. I decided to put some music on. I put my iPod on shuffle and plugged in the speakers. Green Day's Last Night On Earth came on. Josh looked at me, excited.

   "I love this song! It reminds me of you." He smiled, kissing my nose. I kissed him back, and he giggled. Josh climbed on top of me, kissing me all over.

   You are the moonlight of my life, every night. Giving all my love to you.

   Josh rested his head on my chest, and I hugged him, filled with love for him.

   "I love you, Tyler. I'm gonna rant to you. Before we met, I wasn't doing too well. I thought about killing myself. I wanted to die. But after meeting you, I realized that I'm not completely useless if some kid loves me and wants me here. I mean, I'm still not the best, but you sorta helped me, yknow? I love you." He paused, gazing into my eyes. He was very close to crying, I could tell. I hugged him tighter. It was sinking in that I had helped someone out of a dark place. That meant so much to me.

   "Josh, since I guess we're officially boyfriends now, remember that you can call or text if you ever need me, okay? I love you so much." I kissed his forehead.
  

   We spent the rest of the day together, watching movies and walking around town. I walked to Josh's house with him to drop him off. When I got home, I was so tired that I went straight to bed, falling asleep right away.

--

  I got a text at 3:34 am.
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   tyler can u come 2 my house please i need u here asap
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   It was Josh. I sped to Josh's house, knocking on the door. I heard a small, "Come in." from somewhere. I barged in, looking around.
   "Tyler..."

   When I found Josh, I instantly broke down. There was blood on the floor, on Josh's wrists, and in the sink. There was a bottle of pills on the counter, and that's when I realized what was happening.
  
   "Tyler, I'm so so sorry. I couldn't do it Tyler. I couldn't..." His voice was weak, and I grabbed him so he would stay awake.
  
   "Josh, I love you so much. Please don't die. Please! I've done so much for you! What the fuck, Josh?! Why?!?" I yelled at him, tears falling onto his face. No, he couldn't die.
   "I don't want to be here anymore. I'm sorry... I love you..." Josh closed his eyes, and I knew he was gone.

--

   I woke up at 4 in the morning, tears running down my face. I texted Josh as I sobbed, wishing for the thoughts of the nightmare to go away.

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   hey Josh, are you up???

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   well now i am. whats up bro

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   I had a nightmare that something bad happened to you, I just wanted to talk so I can feel better

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   thats fine bro, whatd i do did i accidentally get hit by a train or what

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   No, you killed yourself. I found you before you died but it was too late

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   oh. im still alive. i wouldnt do that 2 u. i love u

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   Love you too Josh. goodnight. sorry for bothering you

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   goodnight xoxo (and ur not a bother, id do anything 2 make u feel better

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   I couldn't sleep that night, afraid that the dream would come back if I slept. I eventually did sleep at 9 in the morning. By then, I knew that Josh was fine, and I didn't have to worry about him. And he wouldn't have to worry about me.