Holding On

Prologue

5 years ago

"Now, before I say anything else, I want you to know there is nothing to be worried about." Doctor Cartson assured us with his confident tone. He was a bit of an elderly doctor, with greying hairs and his reading glasses that were hung around his neck. His blue eyes were dull but a smile was permanent on his face.
"Oh god," My mother sighed resting her head in her palms to try and calm her breathing. My dad wasn't much better, he was tapping the arms of his chair while bobbing his leg unconsciously, even my little eight year old brothers jumping in his seat. It seemed that throughout the family I was the calmest, I was breathing evenly- besides the ache in my chest that didn't seem to go away, it wasn't bad but it had been there for a while now.
"I-I will try to explain this a simply as I can but your daughter has lung cancer," Everyone except myself took in a sharp, audible intake of air, "It shouldn't be that big of a problem considering we discovered the tumour at such an early stage, there hasn't been any sign of damage as of yet, well, besides some the leading symptoms of course. As you can see in this CT scan that the tumour is still quite small and it shouldn't anything to worry about, I believe we got to it just in time." The doctor showed us the tumour on the scan and I smiled a little, it really was small.
"We will be doing all we can but to ensure that she gets the treatment that she requires, we will send her over to a hospital in California where they specialise in patients with lung cancer. But first I'd like to ask some of the mandatory questions."
My parents both nodded in response as a sign for Doctor Cartson to continue. "First, I find it hard to believe that this young lady here, smokes-" His joke got blank stares from my parents and brother but earned a chuckle from me, making his smile grow wider, "-so do either of you two smoke?" He asked addressing my parents. My parents eyes visibly widened as they realised how much they smoked. Unable to verbally reply they both just gave a curt nod.
"I see," The doctor jotted something down on his clipboard before returning his gaze to my parents, "How much do you smoke? Please, answer honestly so we can get a better understanding of your daughters condition." He added quickly, obviously realising my parents were going to lie.
"Between the two of us? Four packets, two each." My father confirmed letting out a shaky breath.
The doctor nodded, all the while making notes on his little board. "Okay," he turned toward my mother and I noticed her visibly stiffen, "did you smoke while pregnant with Kennedy?"
"Y-yes," My mother nodded, speaking for the first time, "About a pack a day."
He nodded his head and clicked his pen signalling the end of the questions, my parents slumped back in their seats obviously glad that the questions were over.
"Now, do you have any questions for me?" He asked, my parents both shook their heads.
"What's the survival percentage of lung cancer?" I piped up, sitting up just a little straighter.
I noticed his dull blue eyes widen a fraction, "It's, uh, it's less than fourteen percent." He told me and I felt my heart sink a little at the news.
"You said that we would have to move to California, when?" My mother asked looking down at her lap, probably blaming my cancer on herself, but it wasn't her fault, I was probably just unlucky.
"As soon as possible, I will send you all the details about California but you will have to find your own stay, although, if the cancer persists then Kennedy will have to stay at the hospital, but it hopefully won't ever come to that."
My parents nodded and stood up from their chairs followed by my little brother and myself. "Thank you Doctor." My parents chorused before leaving.
Just before I left I turned to the doctor. "Thank you Doctor Cartson."
Before I shut the door I heard him reply, "Your welcome Kennedy."

1 year ago

Treatment was expected to go by quickly, I don't know why though, the survival rate was so low and even when I was thirteen I knew it wasn't going to be easy. Now, I'm seventeen and its been four years since I was first diagnosed. I was able to live with my family for the first six months before I was put into the hospital for long-term stay. I was pulled out of public school and have been with a one-on-one tutor for the past four years.
My doctor here in California is Doctor Hullenjositz, but that's way too long for me to say so I just call her Mel. She is a lovely lady and I can see that it really stresses her out that she can't help me, she had gotten attached to me with all the time I spend with her, after all, I'm one of her only patients. I was currently laying down on my hospital bed, playing with the buttons and different functions of the bed, I've been doing this everyday for the past four years. The ache in my chest is still there and has been continually hurting more and more but it's never been unbearable, I've learnt to block out the pain.
My brother Daniel looked up at the television hanging from the ceiling, I let him pick the channel, my brother rarely got to visit me so when he did I always tried to make it so he had the best time because the sound of his laughing is enough to make my day. My parents were staring out the window enjoying the view, it was a relatively nice view, you could see the beach and many buildings in front of it but after staring at it all day on my first day in here, I realised I was going to get sick of it. And I have.
A soft knock on the door drew everyone's attention to it as a short brunette woman walked in. I smiled brightly and held my arms out expecting a hug, "Mel!" Mel gave me a small smile and accepted my embrace before drawing back.
"Your looking happier today kiddo."
"It's because my favourite little man is here!" I told her, wrapping an arm around my brother and tore his gaze away from the screen. He gave a little half-hug then wriggled out of my grasp once more.
"Well, I've got some important news." Her mood suddenly dropped as she turned toward my parents who were now scrambling out of their seats to stand beside me. "Well, you have been unresponsive to the chemotherapy and the tumour is still growing, I'd say that you have an estimated twenty-two months to live."
She was silent and the only sound was of my mom's sobbing, my dad consoling her through his own tears and my brother who was crying onto my shoulder as I held him. It was just like the day I was diagnosed, I was the calmest and yet, I had just been told that my death day was just around the corner. "Mel, I want to use my wish, if I can." I told her, she was caught off guard, I knew she hadn't expected me to ever use my wish since most kids used their's as soon as they could.
"What'll it be?"
"I want to go to school-" I could see she was about to interrupt so I continued "-but not one of the schools with other people that are dealing with cancer, a normal school. I don't want people to know I have cancer, I want to go to a normal public school and live a normal life for someone my age which includes living at home." I saw that she was reluctant to let me go, "Please Mel, I'm going to die anyway."
"Well, fine, but only if you know that the twenty-two months will be brought down to an estimated twenty-one months, I don't think I need to contact the foundation in order to complete your wish but I will let them know that you have used your wish. I will let you go for your senior year no sooner because it'll take time to get everything ready so I'll get the paper work done, but I hope you know that it'll be a lot." She stated, I could see her tearing up a bit which I knew she'd scold herself for because its not very professional, "But you can go on one condition, you still have your weekly check-ups. They are mandatory."
I nodded eagerly practically jumping up and down. "Yes, yes, of course!" I exclaimed. Mel gave me a big hug, once I had calmed down and told me in a gentle voice, "I'm gonna miss you kiddo."
"I'll miss you too Mel."

2 months ago

It's the first day of school and I've been living at home home for four months now and it's finally the day I've been waiting for, the first day of school, an added bonus that in exactly one month it'll be my eighteenth birthday! Yay, I make it too eighteen! I've been told I shouldn't joke about that but I know that if I do it'll seem less real and even though I won't say it out loud- because let's face it, we need at least one level headed person in the family- but I was terrified, after all, I've been told that I won't make it to college.
I unconsciously touched my wig, after all the chemotherapy I had to undergo, my hair started to fall out and I was given a wig to wear, it was a brunette wig that was just past shoulder length. I was self-conscious about it and I always wore the wig when I had company, even in the hospital I had worn it since I first got it.
I walked through the entrance of the school and headed toward the office, considered the huge 'office' sign at the front of it I was pretty sure I was right about this being the office.
"Hello, name?" The receptionist asked barely glancing up from her computer as she tirelessly typed away.
"Kennedy Scott." I told her with a small smile on my face as I fiddled with the strap of my bag nervously. My vision blurred for a couple of seconds- one of my affects of the cancer was difficulty with vision, which is why I am not allowed to drive or get my license, so I walk to school. Or it could have just been everyone saying that I needed the exercise.
"Here you are Kennedy." The lady told my, handing my my schedule and the other student information I needed including my locker combination and location- thank goodness for the map otherwise I'd aimlessly walk down the halls.
I was barely out the door when I knocked into someone and my sheets went flying everywhere. "Watch where you're going!" Someone snapped and while I was walking to pick up my sheets I was tripped and sent crashing to the floor. I grunted in pain, combined with the dull ache in my chest. The bell rung for class and people kicked my sheets everywhere, making it harder for me to collect them.
I raced to collect my sheets before they got ruined more when I was suddenly kicked in the side, "Seriously nerd, get out of our way." A harsh voice snapped, I squeaked and moved out of his way as he brushed past me, purposely knocking my shoulder as he walked past causing me to stumble back a few steps. The tardy bell rung and I sighed heavily, what a great first impression I've made.

Okay, now I'm annoyed, I've written this authors note seven times and I know everyone pretty much skips it anyway so here are the basics of what I wanted to let you all know,
• Done a lot of research on topic
- I am trying to keep it factual
- Some of the words used are big and me no understand them
• Chapters will be longer than this
- Since this is the prologue it was shorter
- Initially the prologue was shorter but I wanted to add more information into it
• Don't be a silent reader
- vote
- comment
- tell your friends

• Bye for now
- Blair