Everything To Lose ( FreenxBecky)

Chapter 18

Becky was in bed. It was 1 am and she couldn't sleep. She was going to Freen's gallery tomorrow. She doesn't know what made her go ask Freen.

Maybe it was because of how Emily was so touched by it. Maybe it was because she missed the peace she used to feel back in the day staring at Freen's work. Maybe she just needed a new environment. Maybe she just wanted to see what Freen had set up in the time she wasn't here. Maybe she wanted to talk to Freen where Freen will be her most open self.

That last one stayed. She didn't know what more she needed to hear from her, or say to her. But maybe she'll know tomorrow. Maybe she could even give Freen an answer about what she's decided. That's if she could make a decision by then.

Becky turned on her side.

She was torn on what she really wanted here. What she really wanted from Freen. She knew she was done hurting Freen. She really didn't want to anymore. A tit-for-tat- game wasn't going to do them any good.

She thinks her anger has also toned down a bit. But trust. Now that's something she knows seems almost impossible to build again. How is she supposed to believe that they could have anything between them if she can't trust Freen? It's so different between them now. And as much as Freen could plead that it needn't be different, she couldn't help but wonder what really is left to salvage of this relationship.

Could they be friends then? Could they try to be civil around each other? Could she train her heart to only see Freen as a friend? She knew she needed to find some way to be in Beckett's life. She wanted to be there for him. She had missed the first four years of his life, but she wanted to be here for the rest. And given Emily's attachment to Nam and Freen now, she knew she'd never want to take Emily away from them.

The thought of being Freen's 'friend' got her even more restless than ever and she wasn't even sure if the restlessness came from the thought of being less than what they once were, or more than being nothing to each other. She sat up.

//

They walked into the gallery and Becky immediately spotted Friend at the far end of the floor. Freen watched as Becky walked up to her. The smile on Friend's face was bright and honestly Freen had never seen her smile so much before.

Becky's back was to Freen so she couldn't tell whether Becky had that smile plastered on her face too, but just watching them get nearer to each other already hurt so much. It was like with every step Becky took towards Friend, Freen's heart tore another inch.

Friend greeted her with an embrace and then, as if the world was ending now, Freen watched as Becky leaned in and kissed Friend, passionately. Wildly, as if no one else was in this room but them. Freen suddenly felt like an outsider, unwelcomed, unnecessary.

Every voice in Freen's head screamed "Leave. She'd done with you. You're nothing to her anymore!"

Freen felt her insides come apart. This wasn't supposed to happen. This is not how this was supposed to go. She was supposed to fix this. She was supposed to get Becky back.

Freen fell to the floor, crying bitterly and loudly. "NO! NO! BECKY! No... I love you! Please... come back to me... I'm sorry for what I did... I really am... I still love you so much... please, don't do this Becky! Please...."

Freen screamed louder, because Becky seemed unfazed. She was kissing Friend, caressing her face, loving her the way she used to love Freen and it was too much all at once.

"Don't leave me... please bebe... I need you... Don't leave me..."

//