For the team

Chapter 12

I looked at Sousuke and see how much he has changed after the relay... It gave me a different outlook on him and I ran after Sousuke instead of staying with Haru.
Me: Yamazaki...
Sousuke: Nani?
Me: What you said...you've really changed didn't you? Because of the relay, because of Rin, because of your shoulder; I'm sorry I treated you harshly and I'm sure Haru doesn't mean any harm. He can be a little dense and a little guarded. If possible, would you come over to Iwatobi to give us some pointers? I heard from Nitori that you are a great coach.
Sousuke: Ha?
Me: It would be great if you did. I've been meaning to ask you anyways. This is my contact information if you would like to help... I have to go so I'll see you later.
Sousuke didn't respond and watched me leave him there. I just walked home by myself as the sun started to set. As I walked past the ocean, I started to feel down; I started to feel uneasy. Having Haru not decide his future bothered me. It bothered me to the point where I wanted to help him. I couldn't leave him alone, after all he is my boyfriend.
I met up with the guys and went to the festival with them. Rei and Nagisa were confessing their feelings and how they felt about Haru's swimming to Haru.
Haru: I don't understand you.
We were devastated that he didn't feel the same way. He was confused, he felt uneasy, like everything is going to slip away. Both Makoto and I walked up to the place where we went last year, the mountain.
Makoto: I want you to find a dream, Haru.
Haru: Can you really just find a dream but just looking for it? Forget it. I'm done talking about this.
Me: Haru....
Makoto: BUT YOU AREN'T FINE! YOU'RE NOT FINE THAT'S WHY WE ARE TELLING YOU THIS!!
Me: Makoto... Haru... I too, I too have something to say, so both of you please stop yelling for now. Haru, everything will change. You can't just have everything just stay the way they are...it is impossible. People, things, life, forms of life, everything changes. Nothing will stay the same. We want you to live your life full of goals and with a bright future. We want you to be happy, but we know you aren't happy; we can tell, we aren't stupid, we're your friends. We notice what's going on with you hoping you'll get over it on your own but it isn't happening. The way you swim changed and you changed. You think we are being unreasonable when we are totally being reasonable. Yes it may seem outrageous that we as your friends tell you to find a dream of your own that you will love and learn to treasure the most out of...but, we just don't want you to live your life full of regrets.
Makoto: Rei, Nagisa, Rin, Shiro, and I...
Makoto and I: It's because we all love you. It's because we care about you. Why can't you understand that!?
Haru then grabbed Makoto's shirt and pushed him back. Makoto told me not to interfere with their fighting anymore.
Haru: ALL YOU EVER DO IS MEDDLE WITH EVERYONE! Stop sticking your nose into everyone's business! A dream? A future? Well, what about yours? Stop going on about people's futures when you haven't even decided on your own! And that goes for you too Shiro! Stop it! Stop going on around and about other people, like Rin's and Yamazaki's business when you haven't even decided on your own future! Well, say something.
Makoto let go of Haru's hand and looked at him straight in the eye and told him.
Makoto: I have decided. I'm going to a university in Tokyo. I meant to tell you sooner, but I just couldn't find a way to say it. I..
Haru: JUST DO WHAT YOU WANT!
I followed Haru again, knowing where he was going to go. I didn't want to make him feel worse but I had to tell him.
Me: I'm going overseas to Italy for Arts University. Then, I'll be travelling around to Canada and Korea and then to Tokyo for my Music studies. I won't be back for a while and because of that, I was planning to make and give it my all here with no regrets. Haru, I want you to be happy. There was a reason that I agreed to become your girlfriend in the first place. Yes, I love you but there was also another reason. The other reason was because I didn't want to leave without letting you know that I loved you. I didn't want to make that kind of mistake. Makoto, Nagisa, Rin, and myself now even including Rei into this, all decided to be by your side because we all knew that one day we would all have to go our separate ways. Knowing that reality, it pushed them to work hard and create memories that they can look back on and enjoy. Now, we want to push you into finding something that you want to achieve and something that makes you feel more comfortable yet still allows you to swim freely. We aren't forcing you to swim or anything but we want you to be comfortable with your abilities and use them to your advantage. I'm sorry for talking... I'm going to head home first...
Haru: Wait.
I waited. Haru walked up from behind me and placed his head on my shoulder.
Haru: Stay like this for a while but don't look back.
I stood there as he laid his head on my shoulder. We stood there for a while before he took my hand and lead me back home. As we walked home we talked.
Haru: Sorry.
Me: It's alright. Everyone has their moments. Especially you; you should allow yourself to express your emotions freely.
Haru: Why didn't you tell me that you were going to study aboard?
Me: Because I didn't want you to worry. If you worry you'll become scared...that's what is happening right now with you and your future. You are uneasy about the future that's why you want things to be the way they are now.
Haru: Then why?
Me: Why what?
Haru: Why do you have to leave me?
Me: I'm not leaving you forever. I'm just going to study aboard for a few years so I can be successful here and hopefully if possible, one day we can get married to one another, if we last that long.
Haru: I'll miss you.
Me: I'll miss you too, so you better think of me every day. And keep yourself busy; don't laze around at home all the time. And remember to take care of the cats. I'll always support you in whatever you want to do.
Haru: Thank you.
I just slowly leaned in and kissed his cheek.
Me: You're welcome. Remember to stay healthy. I'll write, text, skype, and I'll do whatever to keep in contact with you.
Haru: Mhm.
With that we just continued walking home while talking and holding hands.