Perfect Fit - Coriolanus Snow

Mercedes | 28

My dear Mercedes,

Please let me know if you're receiving my letters. Everyday that passes, a letter from you is not in my mailbox leaving my heart weighing heavier and heavier. There isn't much here to keep my spirits up and I've learned that Grandma'am and Tigris are putting our house on the market. Please tell me you two are still close and looking out for each other. I'm training to become an officer in hopes of getting home faster. Lucy Gray is here and so is Sejanus. I've found them both.

I'm still thinking about you, hoping for a future with you Des.

yours,

Coriolanus.

Tears stain the letter as I try to hold in my cries. I've read the letter 10 times and still can't seem to get a grip. Each letter is getting shorter and shorter, like his energy towards me is lessening. I lay it in the pile with the others and close the drawer. Great, he found Lucy Gray. I stand from the floor feeling too weak to take a step forward, I stand in the middle of my room staring at nothing trying to collect my drunken thoughts. The life of the club thumps below me, turning my attention to the clock, 2:15am.

I wipe my eyes and reach into my bedside table for a cigarette, chugging the rest of my tequila soda. What has become of my life. I light the cig as there's a soft knock at the door. I put on my silk robe and partially open the door incase it's a partier who went the wrong way and got lost.

"Dessy."

I'm cemented in place, my hearing dissolving to a ring in my ear. No. Not here. Not when I'm alone. Not when I can't count on Coryo to rescue me. He opens the door wider, without a fight because I can't bring myself to move. Entering in my room he stands a few feet away staring at me. He's drunk I can tell just by the look in his eyes.

"Bunny, have you been crying?" He asks reaching out to wipe away a dried tear on my right cheek. "Who has hurt you my love? That blonde brat Snow?"

I shutter from his touch as his arm trails from my cheek to my hip where he tightens his grip, "No, Ambrose. Please leave. I don't have the energy for you."

"I just wanted to see how you were doing, Mercedes," He gives a small smile, "I saw you got a higher position and created that dress that scum wore during the games. Sees like you should happier, but you always find something to cry about, huh?" He smirks, moving to sit on the edge of my bed. "Anyways if I'm being honest, I miss you bunny. Ever since I lost Felix," He pauses, lunging to steal the cig from my hand taking a long pull.

With all of the madness of the games, I forgot his brother was killed from the rebel bombing attack, a few days later in the hospital. I stay where I stand, slightly putting down my guard, "I heard Ambrose, I'm sorry really. Felix had so much potential."

"Ever since I lost Felix I've been empty. Abusing drugs and alcohol to numb the pain and forget about him as if that's even possible," He painfully smiles. His black hair a mess, dark under eyes, 5 o' clock shadow darkening his face, wearing a wrinkled black dress shirt with bright orange high waisted wide leg slacks. His favorite silver horseshoe belt around his waist with silver loafers. "The one thing that still remains when I'm at my lowest, is thinking about you."

I finally melt, moving to sit beside him, stealing the drink from his hand and my cig back. His jaw ticks as he stares straight ahead. From the side I can see his nose is raw, dried blood stains the entrance. He turns meeting my gaze, just two broken people hitting their limit in a time of loss. I finish his drink, putting the cigarette out in the glass.

"Mercedes, I-" His eye fill with tears. "I don't know what to do. I lose or hurt everything I love. It took you two years to realize how much of a piece of shit I am and it took me 24 years. I'm not fit to lead a country, I can't even take care of myself anymore." A tear falls and I'm instantly taken back to the first time I tried to end our relationship, 8 months after he asked me to be his. It's just like any other toxic relationship: he'd cheat, apologize, cheat again, gaslight me, cheat again, hit me, over and over again.

As if by instinct, I wipe his tear away maintaining eye contact. He may be the worst person I've ever met in my life, but he's still a human. He grabs ahold of my hand, pressing his face into it, closing his eyes causing more tears to flow, "Dessy please, I hurt so much. I don't know what to do."

"I don't know what to do either, Rose," I whisper unable to tear my eyes from him. He opens his brown eyes, lightening for a moment from the name I call him. "I've been trying to figure out what to do for the past month and I keep doing the same thing everyday." I feel my eyes heat up.

He releases my hand, cupping my face in his, searching for an answer in my eyes. It all happens so fast. I give the tiniest nod of my head and he smashes his lips against mine, hungry. I know the way of his mouth and kiss back with the same force. We settle into our routine as if its second nature, hands roaming and sounds releasing.

In autopilot I shift to my knees straddling his hips, feeling a breeze between my legs from my black slip hiking up my hips. He growls pulling my robe off and putting a firm grip on my ass. He pulls my bottom lip into his mouth, sucking on the flesh. He stands allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist, turning to throw me on the bed. I crash against the mattress with a thud, trying to catch my breath.

"God, what a fucking good girl," He groans rubbing his hands over his face swaying above me. He quickly unbuttons his shirt untucking it and throwing it to the ground, before crawling over me. His weight feel heavier than Coriolanus, but he moves with more confidence and authority.

Fuck. What am I doing? Coriolanus says he has Lucy Gray, he doesn't need me. He gave up his life in the capitol for her.

I grip onto his hips, digging into his firm body as he attacks my neck and upper chest with his tongue and lips, biting hard in all the places he knows I'll squirm. I moan out sending a warning that I need more to Ambrose. He answers by sliding up my nightgown the rest of the way, dragging it over my head.

He pauses, slowly undoing his belt, his tongue pushing out his cheek. I bite back my lip, looking at his lightly hairy chest to his sculpted abs to his happy trail slowly revealing more and more skin, pulling his bottoms down just past his 'V' cut.

"Are you sure?" He asks, suddenly looking sober, his chest raises and falls.

I pause for a moment taking a minute to think about what he said. What will come of this if I say yes?

"Yes."