stars & moons - jean kirstein

prologue

Lunar

I was bred to become a solider. From a young age I never had a choice but to be plunged into a world of war; it was destiny, being the only child of the Marylean army commander, Theo Magath. My parents were high school sweethearts, they'd been together for at least twelve years before my mother decided she didn't want anything to do with my father as I grew up; she left us when I was three. Somehow, I still remember her bending down in front of me, pinching my cheeks as she said goodbye.

I would spend most of my days at the training centre; because I had nowhere else to go and when I got older, developing combat and strategic skills. Being a pure bred Marleyan, I was never a consideration to be a titan shifter, but my father saw potential in my strength and attitude; even from a young age I had to do what it took to survive in the world I was born into. When I was fourteen, I was named a supervisor of the Marleyan military squad, proving myself to be a quick thinker in the midst of battle. They named me 'Marley's military princess'. I didn't like it, and looking back now, I can't fathom how it was even possible.

Even from a young age, I never understood the hatred between Marley and Eldia. When people would tell us stories of these so called devils, and made them out to be spawn of the earth, it made me feel ill. ultimately, I knew that there was no way it could be one sides fault, that it takes two to tango.

My relationship with my father was...complicated. He was a good man, that was never doubted in my mind; I never thought ill of him, and I would never say that I didn't love him, or that he didn't treat me as he should. He just didn't know when to turn it off sometimes. He didn't know where to draw the line between the battlefield and home life. He had an option to either shield me from marley's hatred, or to throw me right in it. I think the latter was a way of keeping me close to him.

A lot of my time outside of training was spent with Reiner Braun, my best friend throughout my entire childhood. We met when we were ten during warrior candidate training. He had trailed behind the rest of the group in the mandatory set of laps they had to partake in. the rain was pelting down, almost making the terrain unseeable. Through the binoculars I saw him trip into a mud puddle along the route, and without thinking I had jumped off of my horse to go over and help him, going against the protests of my father. I had knelt down by his side, telling him that there was only a short amount of distance left to travel, and that he could do it. He looked shocked at my attempt to encourage him, unsure whether he could trust me. But when he saw my eyes were sincere and the reassuring smile on my face, he nodded and picked himself back up. We were inseparable after that. We'd sometimes be late for meetings, or workouts because we were too busy making sandcastles out in the gardens of the internment zone; my dad didn't like that, but he turned the other way. I would help him train, often offering to be a sparring partner in one-on-one combat practice, teaching him more defence skills that had been drilled into me since birth. We would watch the water, his mum would walk us home to make dinner for us when dad was late in the office. She treated me like her own daughter; I heard her say one time that she'd hoped we would get married when we grew up.

I was so, so excited for him when he received the news that he was going to be the Armoured titan; when we were alone I squealed and jumped up and down. In reality I couldn't have known the harsh future this would bring on him, at the time only being able to see it as the greatest honour an eldian could receive.

We were fifteen when they were sent to invade Paradis Island. I was so sad to be seeing my best friend go, without the guarantee he would come back. With rosy cheeks, he kissed me before he left; It was terrible, and we had no idea what we were doing, but because it was just us together, I was so happy. We giggled after. It was a contrasted feeling when I saw how upset he was that his father threw him in the dirt. All he talked about when we were growing up was how much he just wanted his family to be together, and how one day he was going to make it happen. I knew how much it meant to him and how much it hurt when he didn't even get the chance. I understood how he felt, but never talked about it, never wanting to but my own burden onto others.

As the years went on and my body developed further, I grew into a taller, and more muscular figure. My blonde hair had grown longer, just past my shoulders. My green eyes looked nothing like my dad's, he would always tell me how much I looked like my mum. I think it upset him. especially more so when I got a letter from her, saying she was sorry, that she wished we could be together again in another life, and that her time was over. I've never felt that kind of emotion before; how can you grieve for a mum you never had? I think Dad understood that and held me for as many hours as I needed, while holding in his own pain.

By the time I turned eighteen, I had surpassed almost everyone in the military unit, becoming a section commander and captain of affairs. This meant shit loads more paperwork than usual, and more pressure than ever before. I wanted to be able to handle it though, it was my duty and I was good at it. But, I was always challenged with this internal conflict. Were we always being told the truth? How can we believe these harsh words about people we'd never met?

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this idea came to me in a dream and i had to put it down :P i'm so excited for this!

lany x