Love? | (Ishman fanfic)

Ch- Distance.

Shubman's Pov

The next few days passed rather slowly, painfully slow.

After the conversation I had with Ishan that day, we barely talked. We just talked out of work and the conversations were limited to them. It was eating me up inside, the irritation and sorrow I was going through.

The worst part was that I didn't even have the courage to make it right, every time I thought I would put an end to this misery and just talk to him but I always was at a loss of words with the look he gave me. Go away written all over his face.

I didn't understand why was this turning this way, what had I done?

I agree kisses shouldn't be a part of a friendship, specially when we have the same sex.

I'm not saying being a part of lgbtq+ community is wrong but for people like me and him who have been heterosexual all our life, suddenly kissing? pretty weird I know.

But I asked him, I enquired, I never forced him to it, He gave in to the kisses and kissed back just as passionately as me. So why all of a sudden, things are going down hill over us? Why did he even agree it was fine for us to kiss rather than just speaking out the day itself that it wasn't fine and not the next day.

My mind was a mess, thanks to Ishan. I started to ignore him as well because seeing him being there in the same place as me and still denying my existence filled me up with grief.

I had started to practice way lot more than usual, just so that I don't have to be in room with him. I didn't ask for a room change, cause if he didn't why should I?

But this overboard practice was breaking my body up. It helped me keep my mind off Ishan thoz so I didn't care.

I had to play a practice match today with Australia. Nobody considered me fit for playing as to how tired I was, but I insisted to play.

So I played. And guess what? I scored a 100 and not out.

The game ended with us winning but as soon as we were done with game, I left.

I went to my and Ishan's shared room and literally collapsed at the bed. Ishan wasn't in room anyways

I didn't move for half an hour but then gradually I tucked myself in bed. I was almost about to sleep but the gate opened revealing Ishan.

He just looked at me for a minute but then closed the door and walked towards our bed.

He sat at the other side of bed and I could feel him staring at my back. I felt anxious. I heard some rustling sound from his side so I turned to see what he was doing.

He had a medicine in his hand.

"Eat it" Ishan said, while handing me the medicine and a glass of water.

"No, I'm fine just let me sleep I am tired" I said while refusing to hold the things he offered and layed back down, staring at the stealing.

"Quit being so stubborn for once" Ishan hissed.

"I am being stubborn? for fucksakes stop with that bullshit Ishan. You weren't bothered whatever the hell was happening to me these past days so don't even do so now." I said, I was irritated as hell.

"You were ignoring me as well, and even if we overlook that how do you expect me to just act like nothing happened and continue to be your best friend when infact we kissed. We fucking shouldn't have." Ishan blurted out.

"I didn't expect you to act like nothing happened I wanted to know what happened to you, why would you say its was fine to kiss one day and say the opposite the next day?" I spoke with tears filling my eyes and I didn't even know why.

"Fine, I hated it, I hated the kiss, I'm not gay or something. " Ishan said looking at the ceiling as he also layed down.

I hovered over him, He tried to move but I lock him under my body with weight, hands and legs.

"What the fuck are you doing Shub" Ishan asked more like a whisper.

"I don't know whether you're gay or not, but as for the kiss, I fucking know you loved it Ishan, I was the one kissing you. So if that's not true, fucking look at me the eyes and tell me you didn't like to kiss me." I said while lowering my face till our lips were barely cms apart

Ishan was quiet for a brief minute before he spoke. "Just get off me Shub".

"You can't say it, can you? Because you fucking liked my tongue down your throat, so why the hell are you denying it." I asked losing patience.

"Shub please get off me, we can talk in a better way" Ishan pleaded.

"Why? you said you hated kissing me. So why are you even flustered being underneath me?" I asked as I nuzzled my head in his neck, inhaling his calminv smell. As soon as my breath hit Ishan's neck, he flinched and gasped. I placed a gentle kiss on his neck to which he almost moaned.

I stopped everything when I saw a tea falling from Ishan's eyes. I moved away and stood up.

"Sorry Ishan, I don't know what I was doing" I said filled with regret.

Ishan didn't say anything as more tears fell from his eyes. I hated seeing him cry, I was always the one he came to when he felt like crying and I comforted him but today, I don't know what to today when I am the reason he is crying.

I chose to distance myself from him as he was crying and it was obvious he didn't wanna talk to me.

"I'll just go... I'm sorry Ishu" I gulped the urge to hug and sooth him and left the room.

"Fucking asshole" I could here Ishan cursing me but I just left.

I came downstairs to the where most of the members were present, it was party which I was thinking not to attend as heck I didn't even remember what it was for.

The only reason I was here was to drink, A Fucking Lot. Drink all the emotions away I have been having for almost a month about Ishan.

Get drunk and tipsy.

THE END OF CHAPTER

THATS IT
HOPE YOU ENJOY<3