𝒀𝒂𝒌𝒔𝒉𝒂 (𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖴𝗇𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝖬𝗂𝗋𝖺𝖼𝗅𝖾)

29.Forbidden

Rashid's POV

I am certain I have been bewitched. If not that then nothing explains my behavior and demeanor now. This is not obsession anymore. I am way past that stage. It has turned into craving,attraction,affection,commitment,trust,protectiveness and...and many more.

And I don't hate it. Rather I pine for it,long for it....it,whatever this feeling is. I want her trust,love,affection,smile all for me. Me only. I want her all to myself. Sounds so selfish and immature I know. I am bewildered at myself. But it is what it is. And if anything I know from my experience then I know the fire is burning from both sides.

"Do you think it was a wise decision?" Amir said from my side.

I looked away from the papers in my hand,confused what he is talking about.

"What are you talking about?"

" Shehzade Kahir. Aap ko lagta hain ye faisla sahi tha?"
(Prince Kahir. Do you think it was a right decision?)

What is up with everyone? First begum now him.Do they not trust my instincts?

"Kyun? Tumko lagta hain humne galat faisla liya hain?"
( Why? You think I made a wrong decision?)

"Gustakhi maaf karein Rashid. Par Kahir aapne rahaish,aapne ahal o ayal se bohot din taak dur the. Woh aapne wajod mein nehi the aur..."
( Please forgive my imprudence Rashid. But Kahir was away from his home,from his family for a very long time. He wasn't himself and..)

"Aur?" My voice was sharper already not liking this conversation.
( And?)

"Aur woh aapko marna chahte the. Dusre raja ke sath milke unhone aapko dhoka diya hain Rashid. Ye aap kaise bhul gaye?"
( And he wanted to kill you. He conspired with other king and betrayed you Rashid. How can you overlook this?)

I sighed deeply putting the papers away. I knew I had to face these questions someday.But it still didn't make it easier for me to answer.

"Because he is family Amir. And-And you know he didn't do all these on his own account."

"That doesn't make him less guilty Rashid!" He defended.

"I know." I ran my hands through my face,resting my face on my palms.

"His mother...she-she has influenced him ever since he has learned to talk. Somehow she still influences him. He was manipulated by her for a short amount of time only. She thinks her miseries would have been a lot less if I wasn't here. She thinks Kahir would've made a better Sultan. And she chose a path which isn't..isn't something we can fight with." I said softly.

"And you still didn't punish her. You should've ousted her the moment you found out about it."

I should've. He is right. But I was worried.

"It would've angered her more. It could've backfired on us. I didn't wanted that. It's better if she stays her,within my territory where I can keep tap on her. I can control her here but outside I can't. And I get enough updates from her maid,Rubina. She is trained well don't worry."

"Then why don't you just kill her?"

My breath hitched. Kill her? I looked at him perplexed.

"I can't. I-I can't Amir. She is the mother of Aaliyah and Kahir. I can't ruin their lives. I can't just make them motherless. I can't live with that guilt. I can't be the person who makes them orphaned. I adore them as much as I adore Saad." My voice trembles in helplessness.