Except For You ~ {Fred Weasley}

Chapter 24

I watch Maree curiously as she draws things out of her bag, more and more hurriedly the further she gets to the bottom. She nudges Del awake and they talk for a bit, but then Maree starts fiddling.
With the zipper of the jersey I gave her. I can't believe she still has it. Then Percy walks by and glares at her until she gets under the covers. I turn to my side before she catches me staring at her.
My mind wanders as I lie awake, staring at the stars through the enchanted ceiling.
The cold of the floor beneath me and the twinkle of the stars above me throws me back to the night me and Maree read at the astronomy tower.
Her ocean blue eyes latched onto the words of her book, constantly tucking and untucking her fringe. The light of the stars cast dots over her face like fairy lights, and they made her freckles pop even more.
That tower, however mainly silent it is, kept showing me the type of person Maree was.
She was quiet most of the time, constantly focused, enthralled by what she found interesting. Including school work, which I still find incomprehensible. She works hard, too hard I think. She's emotionless, until it comes to big, overwhelming events and occurrences. Then she'll break down. And she's not afraid. Of what people think of her, or what she has to do.
I mean, she did burst into the Great Hall at lunch and shout at one of the most popular guys in school without a second thought.
But what I think of the most is how she is one of the nicest people I've ever met.
Helping Harry prove those Hufflepuffs wrong last year without even knowing him, helping random first and second years study, calling herself a Mudblood, making the insult lose it's power. And she gives everyone a second chance, even me.
She doesn't fail to impress me the more I get to know her. Well, not anymore. Not until she talks to me again. Which will probably be never in another million years.

I wake up in the early morning, and my eyes immediately move to Maree's spot. But she's not there.
I look around and see she's patrolling the Hall. Which makes sense, because she is a perfect. But she's not in robes like the other prefects. She had gotten ready for bed last night instantly after dinner, so she was in a light grey singlet, navy blue pajama pants and my discoloured quidditch jersey, with my name also removed.
She walks down the aisles. Or, well, what's supposed to be aisles.
We had originally been in rows like our tables, but people started to spread out last night, moving to check on friends, family and lovers in different houses. So now the entire room was like a campgrounds. Messy, unorganised, and perfect for the occasion.
As I watch Maree patrol, she fiddles with the hem of her sleeves, her hands not showing. Someone taps her leg and she looks down, then kneels next to them and starts talking with them. She tries laughing them off, but they sit up and ask her something.
And that's when I figure out who it is. Cedric freaking Diggory. I force myself to not jump up and march over there, because I know it won't make anything better.
They continue speaking and then hug. As they hug Maree's eyes find mine, and before I can look away she smiles softly and waves.
I wave back, dazed and confused. Diggory and Maree seperate, and she stands up, continuing her patrol. Elated, I turn from my stomach onto my back, watching the clouds through the charmed ceiling. I had gotten something friendly out of Maree.
No words, no indication of when she'll speak to me next, but something that at least acknowledged my existence.
And that elated feeling gets completely diminished when Del taps me on the shoulder, Cedric behind her, and the most serious face I've ever seen the girl wear.

I sit up and she sits on George's sleeping bag next to me, but doesn't wake him. Cedric sits on the floor, which is peeking through the gap between mine and George's sleeping bag.
"Where is it?" Del says flatly. Me and Cedric both look confused.
"Where is what?" I ask quietly, not wanting to wake anyone.
"y/n's book." She responds with the same tone as before.
"She has lots of books." Cedric replies, and for once I agree with him. Maree is a non-stop reader.
"No, not a book. Her book." I'm still puzzled, and so is Cedric, from the look on his face.
"What's it called?" I ask after a moment of silence.
Del turns to me. " 'The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe'." Realisation hits and I cringe.
"Oh."
"What do you mean 'oh'?" She hisses. I cringe again.
"She left it at Charms on Monday." I whisper.
"You've had it for SEVEN DAYS?" She whisper shouts. Cringing, I nod. "Why didn't you give it to her sooner?"
"She doesn't want me talking to her, remember?" I shoot back.
Del sighs, brings her knee up, and bangs her forehead against it three times. "You idiot." She mumbles.
"What did I do this time?" I exclaim lightly, throwing my hands into the air.
Del lifts her head and looks at me, doing that piercing-into-the-soul-through-the-eyes thing that Maree does all the time. "You do realise that she needs that book on her at all times, right?"
"What? Why?"
"If she doesn't have it when she's anxious, she gets a panic attack. And if she gets a panic attack, she can't breathe. And if she can't breathe she starts to cry. And if she starts to cry she can't regain breath. And it goes on and on until the attack passes."
I can barely think, the words replaying over and over in my mind as I watch my hands fiddle with each other.
"And she never asks for help." Del adds before I can respond.
My head snaps up and I watch her facial expressions. "What?"
"She doesn't ask for help. And she never tells anyone it's happening either. I only know because I walked in when one was happening."
I look at her in disbelief. "Why would she do that?"
Del shrugs. "I don't know actually. She bottles everything up and never lets her emotions show." She picks at a loose strand on George's sleeping bag. "I want to tell you two something." I glance at Cedric, having forgotten he was there. We both nod for her to continue.
She takes a deep breath. "A few years ago y/n's mum almost died." I suck in a short breath through my teeth. Del continues. "And ever since then her mind has these 'what if's thoughts. She can't help it. And sometimes they're so horrible that she cries. And then that turns into a panic attack. And the only way to stop them is by reading her book.
"But she didn't have that last night. Under the stress of everything she nearly had another attack. Thankfully I was able to repeat lines I knew to calm her down, but she still found it hard to breathe."
Del pauses, glancing at us to see our reactions. I was fighting the urge to jump up and run to Maree so I could tackle her with a hug, but that was pretty easy since my body decided to freeze as well.
Del keeps going, "And then she told me the 'what if' thoughts had come back. She hadn't had them for a while. But now she was having ones that weren't just about her mum's near-death. 'What if my mum really died?' 'What if all my friends actually hate me?' " Del looks to Cedric. " 'What if Cedric thinks I'm a huge weirdo and is spilling all my secrets to his friends?' " Cedric opens his mouth to speak but Del has turned to me. " 'What if Fred isn't actually sorry and this entire thing is a dare?' "
"It's not." I say quickly.
"I know. She knows too. But that doesn't stop the thoughts."
"So... She has these 'what if' thoughts... And panic attacks... And I almost caused one by not giving her her book back?" Del nods, and I feel like I'm about to explode from guilt.
How could I be such an idiot?

We all sit in silence, until George finally wakes up and wastes no time tickling Del. Everyone else starts waking up, and they turn to their neighbours without getting out of their sleeping bags.
I scan the Great Hall and quickly find Maree. Standing up, a plan forms in my head. I grab her book and start walking to her. Once I get there, I tap her on the shoulder. She turns around and I silently give her her book.
"You had this?" She breathes, running her fingers over the worn cover.
"Sorry," I mumble. "I should have given it to you sooner."
Maree looks up. "What do you mean?"
"I've had it since Charms, Monday."
"Oh." Her head drops to the book again and her hair falls forward. "Yeah you definitely should have given this to me sooner you thief." She smirks at me through her fringe. I laugh lightly but go solemn again.
"Del told us, me and Cedric, why you need the book." I shift slightly and stuff my hands further into my pockets.
Maree's face drops. "Oh."
"I'm sorry, I had no idea."
"You don't have to be sorry." She finally lifts her head again to look at me. "I didn't let anyone have an idea."
"I still feel bad."
"Well don't." She crosses her hands over the back of the book and holds it to her stomach so it juts out.
Before I can think I swoop her into a hug, one that I expect her to fight off.
But she doesn't. She raises her arms to behind my neck, tiptoeing, and presses her face into my chest.
When we seperate, I try not to look at her hand dragging down my arm. She smiles softly at me and turns away, stuffing her hands into her pockets.
"Wait!" I call softly. She looks back over her shoulder. "Have I made it up to you yet?"
"You made it up to me when you started caring, Fred." She says, turning away again. I smile after her, then shake my head.
"Hey, you used my real name!" I shout.
"Yeah, you wish Mr Trouble!" She calls in response, leaning her head back slightly but not looking at me.
I laugh, shaking my head. "Yeah, okay." I whisper to myself, pushing my hands into my pockets and walking away.
Finally, finally, I have made it up to her. And I know that I can't screw it up.