The Ten Year Hex [Severus Snape]

12

The sun had started to settle below the horizon, leaving the misty colors of sunset in its wake. The buildings around her were dark silhouettes against it. The soft glow of light in the windows followed her as she walked the now almost vacant streets. She didn't yet want to return to Hogwarts, to face Severus or the Headmaster. She didn't want to feel shunned for doing exactly what had been asked of her.

She had let her feet take the lead and soon she found herself outside her flat, the one she could only assume Severus had stood outside countless times in the previous years. Several notes were taped to the door, letters left behind by clients or people she might have considered friends. Some were asking for appointments, some were just to make sure she was alright because she hadn't answered when they called.

She took each one down, one by one. Reading each and sliding it between her fingers before laying the next on top of it. It felt nice to know she had been missed, that her life here had meant something. When Severus had shown up at her flat she began to wonder if the people here would even notice she had left or if they would simply forget she had existed, much like she felt the Wizarding World had.

She turned the knob, unsure if she truly wanted to enter what felt like an old life. It had only been a little over a week, but it felt as if it had been a lifetime. She instantly regretted the decision. Inside there was chaos. Her table and sofa were toppled, the table she used for readings was broken into pieces. The sink that held so many dirty dishes was full of shattered glass.

The books from her shelves were torn and dismembered, their pages littered across the floor. Everything in her space had been rifled through and destroyed.

As she looked around at the destruction, a noise met her ears. Panicked and harsh. It came from her bedroom, where she had not yet seen the devastation. She took careful steps around the clutter, making sure she didn't step on shattered glass or make noise. She held her wand defensively, ready to attack whatever awaited her.

The only light came from the street lights outside, it was barely bright enough to penetrate the dark curtains over the windows. They too were a victim of whatever had happened here, tattered and frayed. She peeked around the doorway but could only see a black mass. "Severus?"

The mass stilled before turning to face her. His shoulders slackened before he moved like a shadow and was standing in front of her. She could see the relief in his face, she could feel it in the air. He raised his hand as if to touch her but withdrew it, "I thought they took you."

"Who? Who did this?" Her hand gestured around the room behind her.

He shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know, but it was like that when I came looking for you. I was looking for anything that might tell me where you were."

Her brows drew together, she wasn't sure she believed him. Perhaps he was the one who had destroyed everything. Anger was always Severus' weakness, he was never good at hiding it, or handling it. "I think I'm going to leave," said Jynx. Severus' shoulders tensed again.

"Please," he pleaded, "don't leave."

"Look around Severus, someone destroyed this place, looking for me. What makes you think it's safe if I stay?"

His face dropped and he turned away, "I wouldn't let anything happen to you."

"Ten years Severus, ten years I was safe here. Then you came back and expected everything to be the same, expected me to throw myself into your arms as if a day hadn't passed," she watched his expression, the clenching of his jaw as she battered him with what she thought to be the truth, "now everything is upside down and I'm not safe anymore."

He nodded, the ends of his raven hair brushing against his shoulders. She hated how deep she could tell her words had cut and she hated even more how much she wanted to hold him. How she felt she had been too harsh, too brash. She felt herself teetering on the fence, ready to plunge to the ground on the side where he was, even though she knew the other side was safer.

"You were never safe," he said, his tone changed. It was his turn to cut, to use his words to hurt her, "Others already knew where you were. It was I who kept you sheltered, safely oblivious to the monsters. I may not have known how to approach you, to fix what I had done, but I knew how to protect you. Ten years Jynx, ten years of making sure nothing and no one would hurt you."

There it was, the searing cut. The feeling of tiny knives to her heart. She had been resentful of his very existence when he first reentered her life. Yet he had been watching, waiting and protecting her.

Of all the futures she had witnessed, all the lives she had watched unfold. Hers was not one of them, she never saw any of this coming. Her life was an enigma to her, and as it unfolded it just became more of a strange shape. Yet, somehow it was always the shape of him. The shape of his face in the dark, his hair, his lips. It was always him.

"Severus-"

"There is no spell I am willing to cast or potion I could bring myself to brew that would change your mind. I want the choice to be yours, untainted," he let out a heavy sigh, "but I have had a decade to mull over my decisions, my feelings. I have not given you that same nicety. I have not given you the time you deserve."

The truth was, she wanted to confess everything to him in that moment. She wanted to scream at him that time changes nothing and it certainly hadn't altered her feelings for him. However, her mouth didn't move, no words poured out. No confessions presented themselves. She simply drew closer to him, basking in his existence. Time changes everything.

She found herself touching his face, running her fingers over the wrinkles that had started to form. She hadn't taken the time to really look at him, to assess the damage their time apart had done. What the past had done to him. His eyes were the same, dark and somber but his face was older. She should have been there to witness it age, to watch the lines deepen around his mouth.

His hands found her face as well and he seemed to be doing the same. Ten years had not made much difference in her face, aside from the lines around her mouth. She was lucky to have experienced so many happy times, even after leaving him behind. It seemed they had lived very different lives apart.

There were no more confessions or heavy expressions. They simply fell into each other, both willing to be sucked into the vortex that was the other. Their clothes became part of the chaos that littered the space. Thrown in with the shattered glass and broken furniture.

It seemed the cuts their words had made were only superficial, at least for the time being. The heaviness of the words hung in the air along with the moans and screams that ensued. Severus' praise caressed her ears and she fell apart as he thrust inside her. It was like standing in the rain, that feeling of vindication. He was the shape of her life, every part of her was made for him and every part of him, for her.

The hate she tried to hold onto so tightly, hoping it would shred her feelings for him, exploded with the orgasm that rolled through her like thunder. The feeling of her pounding heart in her chest, of Severus beneath her. His words blossomed in her ears, as he whispered sweet praises into them. Everything came crashing down, all her walls and defenses.

Time changes nothing, yet it changes everything.