Fuck Up The Friendship | Tom Blyth

24

"Tom. Let me go" Bella breathed out, desperately trying to dry her tears as she tried to pry Tom's hand off her wrist.

"Bella. Look at me" she heard him softly speak.

"No!" she exclaimed, panicking that she was crying while Tom was in the same room as her. Granted, he wasn't seeing it, but he was too close.

"Bella? Fuck, stay calm, okay?" Tom pleaded, realizing she was on the brink of a panic attack, trying to pull her to his chest, but she was fighting back.

"I just need a fucking minute alone. Okay? Just give me a moment" Bella pleaded, her body still turned away from Tom as she pulled on her wrist so hard it hurt, to get it out of Tom's hold.

"Bella, it's okay. I'm here for you" he tried to reason with her, his grip on her wrist not loosening as he still tried to pull her closer, this time succeeding, pulling her down on the couch with him, her back to his chest.

"I don't fucking want you here! Let go of me!" Bella yelled out, now frantic as she tried to pry his arms off her. They'd had a good day but she'd be damned if Tom would see her have one more panic attack. It was embarrassing, and weak in her mind.

"Shh, it's okay" Tom gently spoke, ignoring her thrashing around as he wrapped his arms around her tighter, resting his head against her back.

"Fuck, I need to- Tom... Let go" she cried out, now fully panicking as tears streamed down her face, leaving red marks on Tom's arms as she tried to pry his arms off her waist. She needed to get out. That's all she could think about.

"Bells, it's okay. Breathe" Tom tried to calm her down, ignoring the pain he was feeling from Bella trying to break free.

"No! Just... Fucking stop! I don't want this!" she yelled out, frustrated and angry. She felt caged, and that made her anger issues come out full force.

"Bells!" Tom yelled out as Bella was finally able to get out of his hold, dashing for the bathroom with Tom running after her. She tried to close the door, but Tom was too fast, too strong as he forced his way in, watching as the love of his life was trembling, panicking with tears streaming down her face. He felt his heart break.

"Get out!" Bella yelled as a sob broke out of her mouth. Tom was blocking the door, making her feel caged again.

"No" he stated, his eyes staying on her.

"Fuck" she mumbled as her hands went into her scalp, pulling on her hair. Tom watched as she breathed heavily, turning around before punching the tiled wall with full force, twice, as she tried to catch her breath.

"Bella, stop" he spoke gently as Bella watched blood dripping down from her knuckles. He slowly walked to her, turning her around to face him. She looked mortified and shocked at herself. Tom said nothing as he pulled her to his chest, his fingers going into her scalp and massaging, calming her down. He felt Bella's breathing become even again.

"I'm sorry" Bella stuttered out as she looked down and watched how her blood had completely ruined Tom's shirt.

"It's just a shirt, baby" Tom gently said, letting the nickname spill out. Bella said nothing as Tom got a towel, wet it and gently pressed it to her knuckles, making her wince in pain. She bit her lip as Tom pressed down on her knuckles until they stopped bleeding, putting the towel down before leading her back to the bedroom, sitting down on the bed next to her.

"Shit. I'm so sorry, Tom" she said quietly, feeling embarrassed that Tom had seen not only her panic attack, but the anger issues that came with it. She didn't want to tell him everything that had led to them. He wouldn't look at her the same if he knew. No one knew, and Bella liked it that way.

"It's okay, Bella" he spoke gently, but fiddled with his rings nervously, biting his lower lip.

"Why'd you do that?" he said, glancing down at her swollen and bruised hand.

"Just... I felt panicked" Bella mumbled out, her gaze staying on the floor.

"Did you... Fuck I'm sorry to even ask this... But did you want to hurt me?" Tom asked apologetically, making Bella lift up her gaze and look into Tom's eyes, her eyes filling up with tears at the realization that Tom thought she wanted to hurt him. This is why she felt she'd never be good enough. For him or anyone else.

"No" she breathed out, standing up and grabbing her phone and her bag.

"Bells, I'm sorry. Don't go" Tom pleaded, tears brimming in his eyes.

"I'm so fucking sorry, Tom" Bella breathed out, holding back tears as she stepped out of the room, knowing she'd never be good enough for him.