Bella felt like she was underwater once again, sitting on the floor of her room, in the midst of a panic attack. She tried to be as quiet as she could, she didn't want Rachel and Tom to hear. She tucked her head between her knees, trying to calm herself but not succeeding.
"Shit" she mumbled, her fingers going to her scalp as she rocked back and forth, trying to take deep breaths. She wanted to crawl out of her skin as she felt arms go to her shoulders. Bella didn't want to look up, she didn't want to know who had walked in on her like this. She kept her head between her knees, feeling the arms go under her knees and behind her back and pick her up, setting her down on her bed. She didn't have the energy to fight it, but whoever it was, was strong.
She felt strong arms go around her waist, pulling her to a rock hard chest. She tucked her head in their chest, not wanting to face whoever was here. She felt fingers gently rub her arms up and down, soothing her and making her breathing slowly become even again.
"Bells?" she cringed as the voice, which she instantly recognised as Tom's, spoke up. She didn't answer, burying her head deeper in Tom's chest, not wanting to face him. She was embarrassed and horrified that Tom had seen her like this. He'd seen her vulnerable, and in her mind, nothing could ever be worse than that.
Tom felt his heart breaking as he'd walked in on Bella obviously having a panic attack. He wanted to help her and hold her close, so he did, burying his face in her hair as he pulled her even closer to his chest. He felt his heart breaking even more as he realized she'd probably been dealing with this alone her whole life. But she'd never be alone again. Not if he'd have any say in it.
"Bells, baby?" he spoke up again gently. Bella cringed at the situation, wanting to crawl into a hole and die.
"What?" Bella spoke up, trying to sound annoyed, but her voice came out weak and worn out.
"You okay?" she heard Tom ask, his arms still holding her to his chest.
"I'm fine" Bella stated, thinking of a way to salvage the situation, play it off like it was nothing.
"You're clearly not fine, though, baby" Tom gently spoke, one of his hand unwrapping from around Bella and going to her hair, running through it softly and soothingly.
"Do not call me baby" Bella coldly stated, finally starting to fight against Tom's grip. She was horrified at how vulnerable she'd been. She tried to pry Tom's arm off of her, but was unsuccessful. She looked up at Tom, who was staring at her with a mix of worry and love.
"Let go of me" Bella stated, trying to sound brave. Instead of answering, Tom's eyes flickered to her lips before gently pulling her in for a kiss. Bella felt her body betray her, immediately kissing him back with a sense of urgency and need.
"Bella" Tom softly spoke out as they pulled apart, giving one last quick kiss on her lips before looking into her eyes again.
"How long have you had panic attacks?" Tom asked. Bella frowned at the question, knowing she'd been caught. Her feelings for Tom had clearly made her too careless, and she couldn't have that.
"I didn't have a panic attack" she stated, finally pulling out of Tom's grasp after he'd moved his hands during their kiss. She sat up on the bed, sitting next to Tom and refusing to look at him, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around herself.
"But you did" Tom gently stated, sitting up next to Bella.
"Can you just leave me alone?" Bella asked, her annoyance seeping through her words.
"Bella, don't you get it? I can't" Tom spoke out, frustrated at the situation. He wanted Bella to look at him, to touch him, to let him in. To love him.
"It's quite easy, actually. Don't come around, and don't fucking text me" Bella stated, trying hard to build her walls up.
"You're an idiot if you don't realize by now. I fucking have feelings for you, Bella" Tom spoke out, raising his voice in frustration.
"That's your problem. Don't make it mine" Bella coldly stated, still not looking at Tom.
"You can pretend all you want. But I know you feel something for me too. I can feel it when you kiss me" Tom stated before standing up and walking towards the door. Suddenly, he turned around and looked at Bella, who was staring at him and didn't have time to avert her gaze. She felt her heartbeat quicken as she looked into his eyes.
"I'll be here when you're ready to admit you have feelings for me. Until then, I'll be there everytime to 'ruin your night' as you call it. You don't admit it yet, but you're mine Bella. And I don't fucking plan on sharing you with anyone" he spoke out before walking out the door, closing it behind himself.
