I chew at my bottom lip trying to figure out how to say what I need to. The words are stuck in my mouth. I hate change more than anything and I held something that could potentially change everything right in my hands.
Part of me tried to mentally prepare for the storm ahead and savor the moments of freedom I had left and then at the same time a little voice in the back of my head was telling me there was still time to turn back and not tell her.
"Hope what's going on" Caroline asks gears clearly tuning in her head.
"He hurts me" I cry and throw myself into Caroline " I can't do this anymore" my fingers grip Caroline's shirt.
"I don't feel safe anymore, I can't sleep I don't want to be here don't leave me alone with him."
She doesn't say anything she just rubs her fingers through my hair and rubs my back.
"Please say you believe me" I look up with my tear drenched face.
"I do" she looks down at me and I realize she's crying too.
"Mom" Josie walks up "oh am I.."
"No, do you and Hope want to go to your room while I take care of somethings," she asked but it I could tell it seemed more like a command.
"Sure" her eyes follow and trace her mom.
"Hope what happened" Josie asks when she's far enough away that her mom can't hear her and Lizzie spent years trying to approximate the distance away and the volume they'd have to be at so their mom wouldn't be able to here what they were saying.
She shuts the door to her room "I'm so sorry" I try to not cry. " I didn't mean too I'm so sorry" I would never try to ruin Caroline or Josie's life on purpose but I just feel like a boiling kettle and I've reached my point.
"It's okay we don't have to talk about it" she try's to keep me calm because she's never seen me this freaked out.
"Here how about you lay down" she throws the pillows off her bed and whips the blankets around.
I can't stop shaking as she covers me in comforters and pillows. She sits next to me in bed and scrolls on her phone.
A couple of minutes later Caroline throws open the door. I jump three feet in the air, and start shaking harder again.
"Hey Hope" Caroline sits on the the bed right next to me and starts to rub my back.
"Mom what's wrong" Josie looks over at her.
"Josie......I just can't explain things right now"
"Then I'll ask Dad" she stands up
"Josie" she shoots Josie a look
"What is going on and why won't you tell me" Josie walks over to the door.
"Josie I swear I'll tell you later it's just not the time" She looks over.
"Tell me mom please" she pleads.
"Josie" Caroline raises her voice a little.
"Just stop," I sit up and cry. "Stop fighting please" I choke out. "I'm sorry" my face turns bright red.
"Josie.." Caroline starts
"I'll give you guys space" Josie looks at me and then at Caroline.
"Hope are you okay" Caroline slowly approaches me.
"Caroline... I pissed the goddamn bed" I look down and start crying.
"Okay, do you want to take a shower or I could run you a bath," she asks lifting and throwing the blankets into a laundry bin.
"Bath" I slide out of the bed.
She runs to the conjoined bathroom to start running the water and just stand awkwardly pants drenched in my own pee. As if this all couldn't be more embarrassing.
Caroline goes back to ripping the sheets off and cleaning the mattress.
I kept a tight eye on Caroline knowing that she could try to talk about what happened at any minute. There was also the thought in the corner of my mind that she didn't believe me and something bad would happen. Like I'd be locked up in the dungeon.
Caroline runs back into the bathroom and shuts off the water "You can hop in."
"Thank you" I mumble making my way to the bathroom and taking my clothes off and just sitting in the bathtub.
YOU ARE READING
Animals (sequel out)
FanfictionAlarics treatment of hope this year is worse to the point where Hope just takes his constant abuse. She wants to tell Caroline,Josie, or someone but she feels like it's just punishment for her defiance and if she did tell it would tear Josie's life...
