Animals (sequel out)

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"I told her not to tell you ,I asked ,don't be mad" I try to make eye contact with her.

"I'm not mad hope. I just don't know what to say." Caroline holds my hands. "I want to ask what he did to you and so many other things."

My heart drops and my heart is racing about a 100 miles per hour and I know she can hear it too.

"It's okay if you don't want to talk about it now, but are you mentally okay like-"

"I don't want to kill myself even though I can't die anyway."

"Hope" she sighs "I still don't want anything to happen regardless being a vampire heightens your emotions and right now that wouldn't be the best."

"Yeah yeah I'm fine go do whatever you need to do"

"You can stay here, Lizzie's sleeping over at a friends dorm and Josie may come in here later or she'll sleep over at a friends too. If you don't want her to come in later I can let her stay in another room."

"It's don't mind if she doesn't." I delve into Josie's blankets and am engulfed in the smell of her bubble bath.

"I'll be back to check on you later okay." She gets off of the bed and leaves.

I pull my head under the sheets and curl up into a ball. I finally get a second to just let my heart and my mind race. My lungs feel empty and I grip and tear at the sheets. I think about what had just happened and how it felt. It made me remember all the times I felt bare,used , and embarrassed. I pulled Josie's
Pillow under the blankets with me and held it too my face until it felt like I couldn't breathe just to try to hold back my screams and cries. I ripped Josie's comforter off the bed and slammed the pillow on the floor.

I ran down the halls and the corridor to Caroline's room, and curled up in her chair. I stay in her room for a couple minutes pacing around and waiting for her until I just can't take it anymore and run out into the hallway in  Josie's volleyball shorts and an oversized t shirt that made it look like I wasn't wearing shorts at all. I ran past numerous students loitering in the hall. I didn't care if people saw me in this much of a wreck I just need Caroline right now.

"Hope" Lizzie yells from a couple dorms ahead and blocks my path

"Do you know where you're mom is " I choke back looking at her with my eyes bouncing around everywhere and my eyes were stained with tears.

"Hey hey, let's go somewhere quieter and we can look for my mom" she guides me into the nearest room.

"I need her right now" I breathe shakily and make shaky eye contact.

"I know, we'll find her just, why don't I text her , okay?" She pulls me inside of the dorm. "MG we need a minute" she looks behind her at MG.

"Okay" he looks over nervously at Lizzie "Call me if you need anything, I'll be right outside" he points to the door .

"I will ,just please go" Lizzie looks over and my eyes dart anxiously between both of them.

"Hope how about you sit down" she lightly grabs my wrist and walked me too her bed. "Actually maybe you should lay down you're shaking like crazy.  She lays me back on the bed and I twitch and flinch at her just barely touching my body.

"Hey, you're okay, you're okay" she backs away from me and then sits next to me on the bed. Even laying down makes me feel vulnerable and exposed.

"I want Caroline"'I plead with her tucking my legs into my stomach to feel less vulnerable. I don't know why it feels that way but it does.

"I texted her don't worry she'll be here ok, just try to breathe. Just breathe okay."

The door springs open making me jump to look up.

"Mom, I don't know what's wrong. She's freaking out, I don't know what to do. She's been asking for you."  Lizzie runs over to her mom.

"It's okay Lizzie, you did the right thing could you please give hope and I some space please."

"Okay" she runs back out into the hallway.

"I'm here it's okay hope" she sits next to me and she helps me into her arms "I'm here."