𝘙𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘖𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘴! <𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘥! >

I Hate Finney . - angst

I hate Finney.

I hate his curly hair.

I hate his beautiful eyes.

I hate that stupid smile.

I hate his admirable lips.

I hate how hes so affectionate with everyone.

I hate how he plays Baseball so well.

I hate how hes nice to me.

I hate how he looks so cute when hes excited.

I hate his obsession over space.

I hate his taste in style.

I hate him .

I just hate him.

I hate how he likes someone else.

I hate how I know I will never be that someone else.

I hate that I get jealous when he talks about her.

I hate when he admires her.

I hate how he talks to her with that dreamy voice.

I hate how he sees me as a friend.

Just a friend .

Am I just a friend ?

I couldnt even last long enough to be more than just a friend.

I hate how this always crosses my mind.

I hate how I always smile at him.

I hate how Im always so nice to him.

I hate the fact that Im so affectionate with him.

I just hate it .

Why cant I be her ?

All he sees in me is a friend and I want to be more than a friend.

I just cant. .

Why must this happen ?

I dont want to break his heart .

I dont want to freak him out or anything like that .

Why is this so complicated ?

And I know she likes him back.

I just know it.

I want to be her .

I dont know why , I just do .

It gets me so frustrated when they talk to eachother.

Or when they get affectionate .

Bruce told me once that maybe he'll like me someday , but I simply didnt believe it was true.

Because Ive known him my whole life , and now . . Its just -

Gone .

I dont know why I cant control these feelings of mine .

I just dont get it - am I confused ?

Why do I like Finney so much ?

Why does this feeling grow every time I see him ?

Am I possibly good enough for him ?

Whatever , Im not his anyway.

Then why do I think about this so often ?

If I dont care , then why do I feel like I do ?

Hes making me feel so many things , I cant possibly handle anymore.

. . .

I just want to be her .

Why cant I be her ?

Am I too bold ?

Too sassy ?

Or is it because ,

. . .

Im not a girl ?

This is unfair .

I cant be in love with my best friend .

I simply cant.

Why cant he be a dick ?

Why must he be so nice ? (i love that song smmmm)

I hate it .

I hate it .

I hate it .

I just hate it !

Why do I care so much about him ?!

Why do I care if he gets in a relationship with her ?!

Why must I feel this way ?!

I dont like this feeling !

Its stupid butterflies , and its mesmerized face . .

Its like it was just bond to me .

Like its bond to other people.

Like Bruce and Vance.

But they made it work .

It just isnt fair .

Why do I like him so much ?

Hes not mine . I dont care about it.

. . .

I hate how he chose her over me .

So many times .

I hate how shes like a new replacement.

For me .

. . .

I hate Finney .

(sobbed while making thiss - im omw to school rn too. jdidjdn)