The next day I woke up with the urge to die. Dying was my hobby after all. The incidents from yesterday's afternoon flashed in front of my eyes. I skipped school that day. I usually didn't skip school and was quite punctual. I know it is weird for a suicidal person like me, not to skip school often. I switched my phone on. I was scrolling through the list of "ways to die" that I had written down in my notes. It was going to be 5pm by the wall clock.
Suddenly the bell rang. I practically dragged myself to the front door. Agnes was standing there. "Ri--" I slammed the door on her face. "Rude. Fucking open the door." She shouted from the other side. "I'm not. Stand there as long as you want, I'm not gonna open it any time soon." I went into my room.
The next time I came out of my room was when the clock hands were forming a ninety degree angle between twelve and three. I was going to go for a run, to clear my mind; so that I don't try self harming in order to feed my urge.
I tried opening the door, but it was kind of blocked by something heavy. I pushed aside the curtains of the window and peeped out. It had snowed. Not an appropriate time for snowing but there was snow piled upon each other on the road. It was not much of it, but still the outside scene proved that it had snowed heavily to block my door. "Stupid snow," I felt agitated. I gave the door a hard pull, but as soon as I opened it, a sleeping Agnes fell at my feet. She dozed off while waiting for me to open the door. "Fuck. Why was she even sitting outside, waiting for me? I told her to leave. Dumbass." I thought as I tried waking her up. I was going to shake her, but realized that her entire body was burning. She didn't have any proper warm clothes with her and also she was waiting outside when it was snowing. She had a fever and was unconscious. I tried picking her up. She was heavy but I was able to do so, but not for long. I placed her down on the floor and dragged her lower body to my bed. Not very humane of me, but still, she was heavy, I didn't have any other choice. I picked her up again and laid her down on the bed. Her clothes were wet. I opened her top and her pants and covered her with my blanket.
I didn't have a cold compress in the fridge. I brought in a bowl of cold water and piece of cloth to make a makeshift cold compress. She was murmuring something. I placed the bowl with the tray on the bed and brought my ear near her mouth. "I'll wait until you open the door, River" She was going on repeating this. I rolled my eyes and sat beside her to place the wet cloth on her forehead. I didn't have any medicine in the cabinet, but still I tried looking for it in my soccer bag. There must be something there and yes I had a single tablet there. I pushed it down her throat with some water. I dimmed the light in the room and sat beside her giving her the cold compress.
