Next day when light crept in through a small gaping hole in window and reached my eyelashes, i peeped through my swollen eyelids. I was profusely bleeding from my arms, but a constant ringing and pounding headache made me overlook those cuts.
The water in the tub had turned red. There were food particles there too, "puke" I realised. I stood up on my wobbly feet trying to balance myself in the soapy slippery tub. Well to my avail I got up, stretched my sore body. I turned on the shower (before the questions get raised, I had two bath facilities in my bathroom, idk why but I did).
The hot water ran through my naked bloody body. The dried up blood, was scrubbed off. It burned, but it was not the first time I did it. The regular routine of trying to die, was my usual. Getting my arms dressed and pulling on the warmest sweatshirt, gulping down the pink capsule down with whatever alcohol was left in the bottle, I left the house.
The sun was funny. Well maybe it felt funny in my eyes. The alcohol in my system was still acting up I guess. I rode the skateboard to the school. New day, new me, a bullshit moto in my head.
Dragging my skateboard behind me, while scrolling through my phone I bumped into someone. I raised my head to meet a very known pair of eyes, Agnes Abbott. The incidents from previous night came back to me, as if I had lost the file from my brain for the entire morning, and now it was restored back into the memory.
A hint of fear flashed through her eyes. She lowered her eyes to her and walked in.
"Agnes!" I called her. She didn't turn. I ran up to her grabbing her hand. She halted. "Leave" a low sound reached my ears. "I'm sorry" I said my voice softer than usual. "It's fine, leave me" she said now looking at me, her eyes meeting mine. They were red. A five finger bruise was forming around her throat. "I didn't mean to do it. My head was taken over by the black void and-" I tried explaining. "You are fucking sick!" She spat.
A voice in my head squealed in happiness. Agnes Abbott believed I was sick, the voice taunted me. I left her hand, with a jolt. "I'm sick" I mumbled. She jabbed her finger into chest and then to the side of head, "You are sick and pathetic, learn that and make it clear in your head. I thought that I could make you better, but well, well your sickness took over you." The vile raised in her voice.
She turned and walked away. I stood there trying to process whatever she said, but the only thing that replayed in my head was the way the voice in my head taunted me. The day passed. I stole some glances at her, but she never turned to look at me. "You disgust her" the voice in my head said. "I don't" I whispered, trying not to disturb Mrs Morris' class. "She does hate you." the voice spoke again. "I know," I whisper shouted.
The last bell rang. I was still in a heated argument with the voice in my head. It sounds silly, but I'm sick I have certain weird stuffs going on within me, so please excuse me, I guess? I stood leaning against the side wall of our school and spinning the skateboard on the ground. I was waiting for Agnes. I watched her walk out of the school gate. She might had seen me (I felt so), but decided to ignore me. I didn't go behind her. I just stood there. It was just a void that I was feeling. Nothing new, but the warmth she had was slowly fading, I don't know why I did whatever I did yesterday night. I lost another warmth in my life.
