Dahlia Mountain

The Gift

We were laying together in the front porch swing. I was watching the first falling leaves of the year catch and swirl in the breeze and thinking how one of the things that I love most about this house is how everything is custom-made (as it would have to be to accommodate the massive owner of the home.) The jetted tub for instance is big enough to fit us both and then some. And the circle swing we were currently laying in was clearly a custom piece. Imagine a floating papasan chair but four times as big and steel reinforced. I was tucked against the giant's side as he read through some migratory bird reports that he had been caught up in the last few days. His eyes found mine and he pulled me on top of him so I was draped over that big belly my head resting on his chest, his free hand running soft circles over my back. The breeze was just cool enough to blend perfectly with the heat pouring from his body. I was the ideal temperature for sleep but fighting it. I wanted to remain as long as I could in this capsule moment, the kind that are the reason to journal, a moment in time so lovely that the fear of losing it to time and faulty memory pushes you to preserve it any way you can. I'd been filling my journal this week, my stagnant book and publisher all but forgotten.

Eventually I succumbed to sleep and when I awoke the sun had set and the night was cold. Nathan was gently snoring under me, his reports scattered to the deck beneath us. I raised my head to look at his sleeping face. Gods, he was beautiful. His face was just like the rest of him a perfect blend of hardness and softness. The sharp edge of his jaw melting into the roundness of his cheek. Fuck, how was it possible that I loved this man, who was so recently a stranger, this fiercely? I had come here decidedly not looking for love, but to escape a life left in shambles by cruelty and a lack of love. I was here in the smallest most remote town I could find in order to find myself and instead I had found him. If I felt like this after a week how was I going to feel after many weeks, or months, or years? When this bliss ended how would I recover? The night felt cold then and I shivered. Nathan opened his eyes and caught mine. "What are you thinking my little flower?" He asked. "Just watching you sleep" I replied. "You'll tell me what you're thinking petal." He commanded in a tone that demanded the truth. "I was thinking about how to survive this when it's over." I whispered. "Oh sweet girl" he sighed pulling me into a crushing hug and pressing kisses to the top of my head. "You belong to me and I do not lose what is mine. Look at me" and he pulled my chin up and his eyes found mine. "Say you belong to me." He commanded. "I belong to you." I whispered back. "And I am yours little one. Your only job now is to let yourself be loved, to accept all the happiness life has to offer, spend your days only writing what you love, doing what you love, and to break for me my little love, always break for me." I buried my face in his chest as hot happy tears burned down my cheeks. Then we were swinging forward and I was in the air being carried up the stairs to the bed that I loved so much. I was tucked in under the weight of the blankets with the warmth of Nathan's massive form curled around me.

In the morning I found clothes and a jacket laid out for me at the foot of the bed. As I descended the stairs Nathan was just coming in from outside, the truck already idling in the drive behind him. Well, hurry up sleepy girl he said scooping me into a kiss and carrying me out the door. He didn't break the kiss as he kicked the door closed behind us and deposited me in the passenger seat of the truck. I found to-go cups of hot tea waiting as well as a bag packed with fruits and toasted bagels, a dahlia laying across the top of the bag. "Where are we going?" I asked, excited about an adventure. "Secret road trip" he replied waggling his eyebrows at me as I laughed at him.

"Are we there yet?" I asked as he pulled us off the drive onto the main highway. "Give it about four hours and ask me again petal" he answered. It was a long and beautiful drive through mostly national forest and we took our time pulling off to stop at little waterfalls and overlooks along the way. This was Nathan's world and he knew every beautiful thing worth seeing in it. He was talking to me excitedly about the migration research he was doing and I thought for a moment that maybe I should try my hand at some non-fiction. If he could make the numbers and the intricate science of the work he was doing sound as exciting as he did then I think the world would appreciate more natural histories. In no time at all the hours had passed and we found ourselves driving along the coast, the towns becoming bigger and bigger until we were in what I would almost consider an actual city.