Arena's Writing Commissions

Connor x Reader || I'd Give Up My Life To Protect Yours

It's her eyes, the way they sparkle every time she looks at him. Her voice and the way she sounds every chance they got to speak with each other. 

He knows he shouldn't but he can't seem to help the way his chest tightens when she's around or how he seems to hold his breath when she's near him. Connor was still coming to understand his feelings about many things after his deviancy but this had to be one of the bigger ones that always seemed to drive him in circles and up walls. 

He… liked her. A lot, so much so even if he had been reset and reprogrammed many times now… his emotions seeming like errors in his program. 

He'd be sent away and his systems would be checked, rearranged and yet… his feelings for her stayed no matter how many times he was reprogrammed. 

It drove him mad. 

Sometimes, he wished the humans could figure out what was wrong with him. He hoped they'd find his error and finally fix him. And yet, they stayed the same. 

Sure, maybe he saved those files to himself in a place he knew the humans couldn't find. In a place that he created, that only he had access to his vast pleasures. 

Ok, he definitely was in love with her. 

He remembers looking up the word after hearing it so many times like signs that came from him by some… source. At first he ignored them but they came in slowly but surely. 

Moments of glancing at her lips turned to him wondering what they felt like, times of glancing at her hands led  him to craving to hold them in his own. Those feelings grew and grew and sometimes Connor had to take a moment to himself and breathe. 

And it was a scary but exhilarating feeling.

Connor felt like he was losing his mind. It was getting so bad to the point where he could pick up on her scent. That sweet fragrance that always seemed to catch his attention no matter what he could be doing. 

He's never felt these feelings before but sometimes Connor wanted to feel them even if they could… hurt. 

She snaps in his face and Connor blinks. 

He stands before her and she looks a bit worried as she looks at him. She speaks his name in her sweet voice as she calls out to him and Connor feels a shiver run up his spine. 

“Connor?” She asks softly like she's worried she might just scare him away. He almost finds it humorous. 

“Sorry to bother but are you doing okay?” She continues and he takes her in. Her sweet eyes, her soft lips… he wanted to touch her, needed to but he knew he shouldn't. He knew he shouldn't feel these things for her but it felt like an itch and every time he didn't invest in her all he could do was hunger after her. She was never a bother to him, he nearly scoffs at her even suggesting such but he manages to hold it in. 

“It's just…” she continued after a moment, looking up at him and then shyly away while breathing in and Connor could feel it coming as if he was a deer in ongoing traffic. 

“I've been doing a lot of thinking and do you really think the deviants are as bad as they're made out to be?” She asked and Connor felt something snap. 

He isn't too sure what it is exactly, maybe the recent cases and chaos was starting to get to him or maybe he was… just as bad as the other androids but before he can stop himself he moves in, leaning closer to him while pulling her aside. She perks a little, squeaking softly when her back meets a wall and on each side of her he… cages her in. He knows he shouldn't, he knows he should correct himself but he can't stop himself from leaning in and next thing he knows is that their lips are touching. 

She's blushing but looks, calmed, welcoming even as she looks into his eyes and then slowly shuts them. Her hands reach out for him, wrapping around his shoulders and Connor groans softly. He shouldn't feel as hot as he does or as hard as he does but that doesn't stop him from feeling such as he tastes her and it's such a new taste that he can't stop himself from sliding his tongue between her lips and into her mouth, swallowing up the moan she attempts to let out. He presses against her, holding her against him as they kiss and he's willing to go on forever, would do so if it wasn't for the fact that she was still human and shoving his tongue down her throat wasn't helping her and so he slowly pulls away and looks at her face and it's bright with a deep blush as she looks at him in surprise. 

Her taste… is unique. And he hungers for more but he takes this time to admire her as they take in each other's presence. 

“I'm sorry-” he goes to apologize but she chuckles softly, reaching up to cup his cheeks with her warm hands and he can't help but melt under the touch like a big, happy dog. She leans in and kisses his cheek with care before kissing his lips softly again. 

“Don't apologize. I'd be a liar if I said I didn't enjoy it, Connor.” She quickly corrects him and yes things like this were risky but she was happy to do it for him, she was happy to explore these emotions with him so he wouldn't feel alone because she definitely knew something about that. He takes a moment to admire her, looking at her with admiration and then his eyes sparkle and she swoons as he eagerly leans in to return her kisses as she giggles softly in his hold. 

If he was a dog she'd be pretty sure his tail would be wagging a hundred miles per hour at this point and just like he'd do anything for her…she'd do the very same for him.