1. Change the World

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"What's your hair care routine?"

•••

(Name) looked up from his spell book in confusion. "My hair care routine?" He glanced around the room. "This isn't the main book, right? Good. Well, technically speaking, it's whatever the routine of the reader is. Perks of being a reader insert, I guess."

He looked away for a second, seemingly at someone out of frame. "What do you mean I can't break the fourth wall? They asked me a question!"

He grimaced and sighed, waving his hand. "In character? I do that enough in the main series! Fine. Onto the next person then!"

•••

Annabeth glanced up from her knife. She grabbed a rag and began to clean the blade. "Well, I never know when I'm gonna be on a quest, so I have to keep my routine simple. On wash days, I wash and apply a leave in conditioner before detangling."

She ran a hand through her curls and grimaced. "That takes a few hours. Anyway, after that, I use some moisturizing cream and then some hair oil to lock in the moisture. If I'm feeling fancy, I might use a curling cream to enhance the curl pattern. Most important thing I do is sleep in a satin bonnet with a dating pillowcase."

"It's not the most perfect method," she admitted, "but it could definitely be worse, I feel."

•••

"I use of those 3-in-1 body wash, shampoo, and conditioners," Percy stated without shame. "Is that bad? Why are you making that face?"

•••

"First off, I eat plenty of tin cans!" Grover said, currently chewing on a tin can. "Plenty of helpful minerals, I think. But I wash and condition and then use some herbal oil. The rest is just genetics, I guess."

The satyr just shrugged softly, unaware of just how good he had it.

•••

"If (Name) called you from jail, what would the reason be?"

•••

"Murder," Clarisse simply said, sharpening her spear.

•••

Several items floated in the air around Lou Ellen as she practiced her magic. "Aggravated assault," she answered. "The victim doesn't really matter, but I have a feeling that the most probable option would be someone that ate Arby's in front of him. He's expressed a really strong hate for that restaurant chain. Only the curly fries and shakes are good, he says."

•••

Beckendorf held up a sword that was glowing red hot and hummed in thought. "Well, Iris messages are like PlayStation parties for demigods, so I can't repeat what's been said on them for fear of being imprisoned as well, but if I know (Name) as much as I think I do, then definitely war crimes. Probably violating the Geneva Convention."

"I'd break him out, though." Beckendorf said with a small smirk. "Silena would never let him hear the end of it, though."

•••

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