The Boy king and The Dark Knights

XXX

Harley Quinn wanted to do many things. She wanted to kiss her girlfriend, for one. She wanted to watch that new romcom twilight parody this weekend, but she knew she'd probably need to bribe Ivy for it. She wanted to see the Joker get eviscerated.

Watching the Gotham news channel while eating a Batburger, Harley realized she could check one of those things off her bucket list, and it wasn't the shitty romcom.

“I mean seriously, just because you’re bad at being a clown doesn’t mean you should take it out on everyone else. I mean, aren’t you embarrassed?” Harley’s new favorite Wayne asked, sighing dramatically, more akin to a customer service representative tired of dealing with entitled customers than a child being held hostage by a supervillain.

The Joker sputtered. “A bad- a bad clown! I am not a bad clown!”

“Uh, yeah, you are.” The kid said matter of factly. “You’ve broken like... all eight of the clown commandments.”

“The clown commandments?” The Joker repeated, and Harley snickered at the dumbfounded look on his dumb face. 

“He doesn’t even know what the clown commandments are.” The tiny Wayne muttered, his forehead slumping into the bars of his cage in faux-disappointment. “I’ve seen con artists put in more research than you! You’re a shame to all clown kind!”

The Joker growled, waving his gun around. “Oh shut it! I’m the ultimate clown, world-renowned for my ability to make people laugh!” He yelled, before giggling madly.

“Cheat people into laughing, more like.” The kid looked severely unimpressed, shooting the camera an unamused frown. “Listen, I almost joined an evil circus once. I didn’t, but I’m sure I would’ve been a better evil clown than you!”

“An evil circus?” The Joker repeated, blinking. “Why’ve I never- No matter! I’m the clown prince of crime, you really think you could best me?”

“Yeah.” The kid said. “Unlike you, I’m actually funny.”

And for the first time in a long time, when Harley laughed, it didn’t feel like hysteria, or mania, or because He made her. She was laughing because she was happy.

How freeing.

And then, Harley saw something in the corner of her screen that sent her reeling into confusion.

“Is that a fucking Vampire?”

------

If Tucker hadn’t known that the tiny Wayne was a Danny clone beforehand, he sure as hell knew now. Only someone with Danny’s genes could talk so much shit with so little prep time. (Tucker refuses to comment on if he’s ever fallen victim to the Fenton’s sharp words.)

But now Plasimus was on third chandelier, and Tucker was pretty sure a lesser man would struggle with keeping track of all the key players on the chandeliers. Luckily, Tucker was pretty cool. 

“Hello Daniel.” Plasimus said, in that greasy slimy voice of his, flying over to Mini Danny’s suspended cage. Mini Danny looked properly affronted. 

“Wait- Who are you?” The Joker asked, still not recovered from Mini Danny’s verbal slaughtering. 

Vlad sneered. “Why, I’m the boy’s father of course.” He took ahold of Mini Danny, who flailed like an angry cat, trying and failing to bite and scratch Vlad as he was hoisted through the bars of his cage. 

Tucker heard something snap to his left, and when he averted his eyes from the spectacle above, he saw Jason Todd-Wayne, holding a small gun in his hands. Tonight was not shaping up to be the night of highbrow entertainment it was advertised as. 

“No you aren’t, you mother non-fucker!” Mini Danny screeched, before pushing out of Vlad’s grip, tumbling through the air and landing on a chandelier.

The same one the Joker was on. Because of course it was. 

The chandelier shook with the force, and Mini Danny scrambling away from Vlad, who was flying towards them, didn’t help at all.

One misstep sent the chandelier vertical, as both Danny and the Joker began plummeting downward, Vlad gaping in surprise. 

“Danny!”

Crunch.