Hey guys! Another chapter already, aren't I good to you? ;) There's A LOT OF DRAMA in this part of the story be warned! (Though I don't know why I'm warning you I seriously doubt anyone could cry over my writing! ;) ) Anyway, ENJOY, AND PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT BELOW! ^_^ Bye for now! - Zöe :)
~DAN POV~
“See you next week guys.” I get up and stop the camera, feeling a little less stressed after doing some filming. I plug the camera into my laptop and begin to upload the videos. After a couple of hours or so, the editing is finally finished. I hate editing my new videos, it takes so long and by the time I’m done I can’t stand listening and looking at myself any longer. Ready to upload it, I go onto Youtube, but I get side tracked at my home page as I notice a video recommended for me called ‘Phil learns to sing!’ I click on it, not being able to resist seeing Phil’s perfect face on my screen. He looked so happy with Carrie, happier than he ever looked with me. Then it hits me. Oh my God, what if there’s something going on between them?! I panic at the thought, my heart beating heavily. Maybe that’s why Phil had gone out today and didn’t want me to come! That meant he was lying to me, that he didn’t want me to know. What if this had been going on for weeks, even months, and Phil had kept it from me? I thought we were best friends, that we could tell each other everything! God that sounds so pathetic, he’s 26 years old- of course he isn’t going to tell me everything! But this wasn’t just anything was it? This was something. I suddenly realise how desperate I sound, Phil must think I’m really clingy- no wonder he wanted to get away for a while! I walk over to my bed and lay down, my head spinning with all of these thoughts. I suddenly hear my bedroom door opening. I open my eyes and sit up to see Phil standing looking in.
“Oh, you’re back then, did you get the jeans?”
“Umm… yeah, whatever. Look Dan, I need to talk to you about something, something important.” What was it?
“Yeah sure, what’s wrong?” I ask as Phil sits down on my bed.
“I don’t know how to put this, so I’m just going to come out and say it. I think it might be best if you look for your own place…”
“WHAT?!” Surely he wasn’t serious? My mind suddenly turns back to that video. Carrie. “It- it’s Carrie isn’t it? You lo- like Carrie and you want to live with her don’t you?” He looks at me in shock. Looks like I’d got it in one.
“Dan, I’m sorry, but I think it’s for the best. I love Carrie”
“The best? The BEST? WE’VE LIVED WITH EACHOTHER FOR THREE YEARS PHIL. THREE FUCKING YEARS. AND NOW YOU JUST WANT ME TO PACK MY BAGS AND LEAVE?!”
“I’m sorry Dan…” A tear rolls down his pale cheek.
“Get out.” He looks at me. “What are you, fucking deaf or something? GET OUT!” Phil practically runs out of the room. I hear him crying from the living room. How could he do this to me? I was right, he loved Carrie. She meant more to him than I did. I was just a friend, and now he was chucking me out like a piece of furniture he’d got bored with. I started to sob at the thought. I couldn’t believe it. Only this morning we’d been making pancakes together, and now this. I can’t take it anymore, I need to get out of here. I stand up and walk into the living room to get my hoodie. I see Phi sitting on the sofa, laughing at an episode of Adventure Time on the TV. Hadn’t he been crying a minute ago? He looks at me and grins.
“Hey, I heard you snoring so I thought I’d leave you to sleep for a while. I’m about to cook dinner, do you want anything?” This wasn’t right.
“Where’s Carrie?” I ask, confused. What the fuck was going on?
“Umm… Carrie? I don’t know, probably at an audition or something. Why?” Then it hit me. I must’ve fallen asleep!
“Thank fuck!” I say, suddenly relieved. Phil looks at me with a puzzled expression.
“Dan?”
“I must have had a dream. I dreamt that you told me that you wanted me to move out, and that Carrie was moving in. You said you loved her…” I can’t help myself. I start to cry.
“Oh, come here!” I walk over and sit next to Phil. He pulls me into a hug. I suddenly feel as though I’m flying, above the stars. Phil was hugging me! I’d never felt so happy, so relieved! After a few seconds we break apart. I hear the words ‘I love you’, but it’s not me who’s saying them…
~Phil POV~
I’m shaking so hard I’m surprised Dan can’t feel it! I don’t really understand what he’s saying, and at that moment, I don’t care either. All that matters at the moment is this hug. I, Phil Lester, am hugging Dan Howell! I can’t believe it. I never thought a moment could be as perfect as this. I can’t wait any longer. I need to tell him!
“I love you.” Oh God! I suddenly realise what I’ve done. I can’t believe I’ve just told him! Three years I’d managed to keep that a secret, waiting for the perfect moment to tell him, and now I’d blown it! He looks at me. Oh my God, I can’t do this anymore. I’ve really messed up, and now he’s going to hate me!
“I’m sorry…” I run out of the room, my hand over my mouth to stop me from crying. Tears flood my face anyway. I needed to get out; I couldn’t face Dan, not now, not ever again! I grab a coat, not checking to see whose it is, and run out of the apartment. I hear Dan calling after me but I don’t stop. What have I done?!
~Dan POV~
“Phil? Phil come back!” I shout after him. Shit. I couldn’t believe it! He’d just said the words I waited three years to hear, and then ran out of the apartment before I could respond! I have to go after him. I run up to my bedroom and grab the first pair of shoes I can find, shove my feet in them and run out of the house. I needed to find him, to tell him I felt the same way! I race down the stairs, knowing the elevator would be too slow. I want to keep on running, but I have to stop to catch my breath as I come out of the apartment, the cold wind hitting my face hard. Phil always was a good runner, unlike me.
“PHIL?!” I shout out, unable to run. “PHIL COME BACK!” Fuck.
~Phil POV~
I’m too tired to keep on running. I look around me, unsure of where exactly I was. I’d been so focused on running I hadn’t seen where I was going. I saw a dark alley. I walked into it and sunk down to the floor, my back against the wall. I reach into my pocket for a tissue, and then realise it wasn’t my coat; it was Dan’s. I snuggle into the arm of his coat. It smelt of him, a mixture of lynx and aftershave. I pretend that I’m hugging him again by wrapping my arms around myself. It was freezing out, but I couldn’t go back to the apartment, not after what had just happened. I started crying again as I remembered our hug, and then me ruining that perfect moment by saying those three stupid words. Why did I always mess everything up?
Sorry for the language guys, I don't swear but as we all know Dan certainly does! I hope it does't bother any of you ^_^ And I hope you appreciated something actually HAPPENING in this story! :D I think I know where I'm going with this now, so hopefully more updates more quickly! ^_^
YOU ARE READING
Fighting a Feeling (a Phanfiction/other)
RomancePhil can't fight it anymore, he has to accept it. He is in love with Daniel Howell. But how do you tell your best friend that you've secretly been in love with them for the past three years? But things soon change and Dan finds himself in Phil's pos...
