School bus graveyard one shots

A lifetime of regrets - Aiden

+HEAVY Angst/no comfort

+ major character death 

Requested by- UrLocalCentisnake

When you find yourself in a pit of despair,

The only respectable way out is protecting the ones you cherish.

Aiden's P.O.V

I've never really thought about my actions or words before I've let the world see them.

I've never considered what might and might not affect someone.

I've never cared about somebody so much that I'd risk my entire existence for them.

Maybe I'm selfish.

Or maybe I'm misunderstood,

Maybe nobody has gotten to know me enough to the point they can actually predict what I think or do.

I'm just a broken mirror. Every time I try to put myself back together I end up breaking myself, more and more.

I don't know what compelled me.

We got attacked by a couple of phantoms, nothing new. But I was drained. Physically and mentally drained. I wasn't thinking clearly.

One second I'm shoving two of my friends out of a phantoms reach.

The next I'm being attacked by a demon.

Jesus.

Why don't I ever think before I act.

I hear the shouts of terror from a distance, my friends yelling my name in panic.

But my one focus is on the white hot pain searing throughout my body, sizzling and bubbling, transferring to all my limbs.

It doesn't help when I hit the ground. the shouting is getting closer, but the screeching of the phantom overpowers any noise I can hear currently.

I always knew I wanted to die in an un-ordinary way. I just never wanted it to be this slow. This painfully, slow.

Did I even want to die?

 I thought I did. But face to face with death just—just sucks. I'm confused, I'm scared,I'm not feeling any relief like I thought I would. Anything but pain and stress is shoved out of my mind.

My eyes begin to drop down.

I didn't realize I was crying. Hot tears sting at my injured face.

If I wanted to, I could have probably done a lot more with my life than I did. I could've helped people, or maybe I could have worked the courage to talk to my parents about how lonely I felt.

But I guess not. The worlds an unfair place, people die all the time. I mean i could have fucking saved myself. I could have put a stop to my actions, if I didn't jump at the idea of new friends. If I didn't have a fake-ass facade all the time.

If I just.. if I just thought about my actions a little more.

Maybe I wouldn't be where I am right now.

If I'd just listened to voice in my head that I've silenced so many times.

I don't want to die. I know that now.

But you can't always take back what you give.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

UrLocalCentisnake..Babes..I know you asked for Aiden angst..and I know I went a little overboard but the music I'm currently listening to compelled me write a depressing angst..PLEASE DONT COME FOR ME..

*me and Aiden angst =🤝*

—💋💋⭐️