living or existing | mgc

nineteen

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Darby's POV.

Luke insisted that we had take-out for tea, and so we did just that.

The scattered pizza boxes and soft drink cans were a mess over the carpet, but it was okay because no one cared about it anyway. We all were sitting on the couch now, Cal and Luke on the beanbags, and we were watching Ashton's choice of movie, Jurassic Park.

Ashton and Tilda were snuggled up on one side, Tilda's head was on his chest and he was lazily rubbing circles on her back in comfort.

Michael and I were on the other side, expect we had no physical contact. I felt like I wasn't supposed to want any from him,

But I did.

And that's what confused me the most.

My feelings were all over the place, and so many questions span around in my mind, almost like a never ending merry-go-round that once you got on the ride, you couldn't get off.

I looked over at Mike. The only light I had to look at him with was from the dim blue light of the television, and he looked so adorable sitting there, his eyes glued to the screen, obviously liking this film.

Before I knew what I was doing, I had grabbed his hand. His fingers were cold and I wanted nothing more than to warm then up with my own.

I felt him flinch against me, but he soon relaxed and our attention went back to the movie, hand in hand this time.

---

After the movie had finished, each of us were already half asleep and in Tilda's case, fully asleep.

Next step for squad: working out sleeping arrangements.

"Um - Darby and I in our own beds, and Tilda and Ashton on the couch," Luke began. His tongue ran over his bottom lip before he pursed the both of them in thought. "Cal - uh... Spare room, and um... Michael..." He struggled to come up with a place for Michael's bed for the night.

I saw the look on Mikey's face, the way his face showed bitter anxiety and the way he felt embarrassment for always screwing things up.

I knew that he felt this way, and I wasn't taking anymore of it.

"Michael can sleep in my bed," I spoke suddenly, and all the boys looked at me in surprise.

"Where will you sl-sleep?" Michael asked worriedly, his fingers fiddling with each other, perhaps a method that he uses to calm himself down.

"In my bed, it's a queen double. You can have one side and I'll have the other."

Everyone agreed with me and we said our goodnight's to each other, before heading in our different directions to sleep.

Mikey and I made our way down the hall silently, me leading him the way. Entering my room, I could feel Mikey's eyes continuously glancing at me, almost as if he was asking permission after every step he took.

"Come in Mikey, I don't bite," I laughed lightly, and I could see the way his shoulders and face relaxed at my words.

He stood close to me, looking around my room. It was a typical teenage bedroom, with a desk for study, a bed, a closet and a bookshelf. Although my bedroom is always clean, it hit the basics.

"I like your room," Michael spoke quietly, glancing at the collages of pictures of me and family that I had stuck on the wall.

"Thank you."