whatcha listening to? -armin arlert

twenty six

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"Happy Halloween." Erwin speaks as I reach the top of the stairs and enter his field of view.

"Hello. Happy Halloween." I answer stiffly, before making my way to the furthest chair from him to settle in with my book. I spend several minutes staring at the cover as today's events continue to tumble through my mind, eventually sighing as I spread out the pages to my favorite part of the book. A few more minutes pass of me staring at the words without reading, trying to determine how to apologize to Jean.

The unsettling feeling of eyes on me tears me from my thoughts, and I finally begin to read the words printed on the yellowing paper. At every page I turn, the eyes return to the back of my head as I try to ignore them.

"You're not the same as when I met you last week." Erwin's voice pierces the silence after a good half an hour.

"You remember me?" I answer, not pulling my eyes away from the book.

"Of course. You came in with Arlert." He answers, and I hum in response to the familiar name. "I was close with his parents before they moved away." Erwin offers, and I pull up my head to look at the wall in front of me.

"So you knew Armin before college."

"Not quite. He couldn't have been more than three years old. But when he wandered in all those years later looking so much like his father, I couldn't maintain the professional friendliness I'd meet every customer with." He answers, and I find myself closing the book in front of me.

"Is this 'professional friendliness?'" I quip, knowing our conversation is delving further into personal topics.

"No, it's not." Erwin answers before the room goes silent for a moment. "But there's something different about you, same as Armin." He finishes thoughtfully.

I snort in response as I turn my body in my chair to look at him. "What do you mean by that?"

Erwin opens his mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by the sound of soft footsteps ascending the metal stairs. I wince at the noise, trying to ignore the sinking feeling weaving its way through my body.

"Happy Halloween." Erwin greets Armin the same way he had greeted me as his eyes pass between the two of us.

"Hi, Erwin." Armin says as he steps forward. I notice my phone and key in his hand and feel grateful despite not wanting to be around anyone right now.

"I'll leave you two to talk." Erwin says as he stands from his chair, heading past Armin the same way he did last week.

"So, Erwin knew your parents?" I say, not wanting to talk about earlier, watching as Armin pulls a chair over to face mine.

"Yeah. Um, are you okay?" He asks as he hands me my stuff that I had left with him.

"Thank you." I say as I tuck my items into the pocket of his hoodie that I had thrown on again. "I don't even know how I feel." I answer, abandoning the stubborn silence I had maintained since my argument with Jean.

"I heard about Jean." Armin replies, bringing his hand up to cup the side of my face.

"Yeah, I don't know what came over me." I answer, averting my eyes to the window as Armin softly drags his thumb along the top of my cheek, avoiding the welt from earlier.

"I imagine that it's a combination of a million different things." He says, leaning his head into my view again. I relent in avoiding eye contact, and bring my eyes to his again as I lean my cheek further into his hand. I close my eyes and sigh, trying to gather my thoughts together.