The Reluctant Luna

Chapter 24

Hello friend, 

A lot has happened. I'm not entirely sure where to start... 

It's March 16th today. It's beautiful here in Spring. I find myself spending more time enjoying some simpler things. Things like the flowers in springtime. It has an anchoring effect. I feel like my life beyond this things are ... changing, and swirling around in a bit of a sickening way at times. And stopping to rub the soft petal of a daffodil between my thumb and fingers has a grounding effect. There's a sense of ... yes, here we are, and it's ok. A reminder of basic things. An awareness of the springtime, and that sense of systematic change.. as if reminding me that I am still here, and I am still me despite the changes.

Largely they are good changes. To spend time with Alexander and Oliver... to know how it feels to have friends. To feel like there is someone I maybe could call if I needed help... 

That being said... it's hard for me to know if I need help or not. Maybe the prolonged exposure to a rather toxic environment has absolved me of my ability to discern that...

Sorry, I don't mean to seem dramatic. My aunt... she physically hurt me. It was my fault. I talked back to her. I don't know what got into me. Maybe spending time with people outside that situation left me feeling ... self-righteous or something. 

I was making dinner, and my aunt.... wasn't in a very nice mood. I think something happened at work, and ... she looked at me with such hate. I could feel the discomfort on my skin. Sometimes I have a sense that she's looking for something to get mad about... maybe so she can have an outlet for her emotions. 

I was late with dinner. I spent time with Alexander and Oliver after school again... I wanted to. But I needed to also for the deal with Alexander. But something unexpected happened and... 

Gosh, it's hard to know where to start with all of this... I think I should backtrack. I feel an influx of emotions thinking about the events and it leaves me a bit light-headed. It feels overpowering. It's hard to..remind myself of what happened and to work to adjust to this new ...reality. 

It happened last Thursday. My progress with shifting is null and void... I've put an extra set of clothes in my locker for safe measure. I don't think Juniper will try her strategy again though. She's too preoccupied with the next event. It's still over a month and a half away, but the school is buzzing about it. Another masquerade ball. Oliver acted like it was sacrilegious to have a masquerade anytime that wasn't Halloween, but Alexander talked him into it. 

Alexander's idea is that his mate came to the last masquerade, so maybe she'll come to this one also. 

"Maybe she doesn't want to show her face. And if she does come, it would offer information. Verification at least that she's still in the area." 

Oliver was all for it then. He wanted to have it sooner, but it takes time to set up the venue and plan the event. 

And... it's ok. I mean... I think. I'm all over the place today. I'm just going to think about this event um... later. That's reasonable, right?

Anyway, to the point, I left with the guys after school, and Oliver had to make a stop at the border on the way. I watched him get out, and meet with a group of about 8 official-looking people. They talked for a long while. Oliver looked ...different. He looked like the Alpha to be. The only indication that he was feeling tense was his clenched fist.

"What's that about," I asked Alexander, who had stayed in the backseat.

Alexander seemed to glance at the soundproof partition between us and the driver before responding, "It's about you."