Lady Labyrinth

Rowan Tells the Truth

It's been about a year since the unimaginable, as Natalie calls it. It's still hard, but we're readjusting to life without our partners. We stopped working together. We were still doing the same jobs, but at separate places. We still consulted each other for help, but figured it wouldn't be a good idea for us to continue seeing each other professionally. Our relationship had gotten way too personal. I remained at the same school while Natalie went somewhere else.

Since most of the income was gone, Natalie had to sell the house she and Blake lived in. She could not afford it on her own. I could not afford my house on my own either.

"Can I just live with you?" she asked. I was hesitant, but I said yes. "Just while we reorganize our lives," she clarified.

That was ten months ago. We lived together very well. Separate bedrooms, practically separate living spaces. But we still came together every day to cook and eat dinner. Sometimes we watched TV together, but only if I asked if she wanted to watch with me. Natalie was not much of a TV and movie person. She always preferred books. I still played video games with my college friends, and we saw them whenever we were all in town.

I would say at this point that our lives had been reorganized, but I don't think either of us wanted to leave each other. Honest to God, I didn't want Natalie to move out. I was not ready. I hadn't been without a girl in so long.

Natalie hadn't been with anybody. I had a few one night stands.

During the conference after the unimaginable, I ran into Colin. He suggested we date again, but I no longer wanted to repeat myself. I still slept with him, but this time the rush was gone because I was now single.

I reconnected with another girl I had sex with in college. We never dated; we just had sex. I messaged her on Facebook to see how she was doing, and we ended up sleeping together. The sex was alright. She was way out of my league, so much so that my friends pointed it out at the time.

The girl I lost my virginity to messaged me. I say I lost my virginity to her, but her vagina was too small for my dick to fit, and my dick isn't any larger than the average white guy. She was a great person. We dated for the last year of high school through the first year of college, and the impossible sex life led us to break up. I started dating Serena shortly after. Anyways, this girl and I met for coffee and caught up after so long. She brought up her small vagina without me asking - yes, it was still too small.

I had a few one night stands with some random Tinder girls - this was a mistake, both joining Tinder and having sex with random girls. They were, unfortunately, all at my place, so I'm sure Natalie heard everything.

All this being said... I still could not stop thinking about Jade through most of this. Colin and the hot girl from college knew I lost her. The Tinder girls did not. While I had sex with one of them, I made a huge mistake.

She was riding me. I grabbed her boobs. My eyes were closed. It was feeling really good. Her boobs kind of felt like Jade's. This was when I had the cliche moment... I accidentally called this girl Jade. Needless to say, she blue balled me. I apologized, but before I could explain that I was a recent widower, she left. Natalie knocked on the door shortly thereafter.

"Are you dressed?" she asked.

"Hang on," I said. I put some boxers and a t-shirt on and opened the door.

"She was hot," Natalie said.

"Yeah, I know. What's up?"

"What happened?"

I sighed. "I accidentally called that chick Jade 'cause her boobs felt like hers. Didn't get a chance to explain myself."

"Why are you even dating?" Natalie questioned. "It's been, like, three months. I can't even bring myself to think about anyone else."