Clarke returned home. As she stepped into the space she should be feeling her most comfortable in, Niylah awaited, a mix of guilt and fear etched across her face.
"Clarke, we need to talk. I can explain everything," Niylah pleaded, her words hanging in the air.
But Clarke, emotionally drained and shattered, found herself laughing. The laughter wasn't joyous, though. It was a bitter.
"Explain? Niylah, it doesn't matter. None of this matters," Clarke chuckled.
Niylah, confused and anxious, attempted, "Clarke, please, just listen. I messed up, and I want to make things right."
But Clarke continued to laugh, the irony of the situation not lost on her. "Make things right? Niylah, everything is so messed up already. Nothing matters anymore."
Niylah, desperate to be heard, persisted, "I know I hurt you, and I'm sorry. I love you, Clarke. Let me fix this."
Clarke's laughter intensified. "Fix this? You can't fix this, Niylah. It's broken. Everything is broken. Nothing matters anymore."
"What is wrong with you?"
"Oh you wouldn't even grasp- It doesn't matter. I'm happy you're happy"
"Clearly I am not?! Clarke. What the fuck? What's going on?" Niylah was frustrated.
"You aren't a bad person Niylah, I am just as. This is.. this is so weird".
"What are you saying, Clarke". Niylah was clearly worried, but it was overshadowed by raging confusion.
"I cheated too, we're a misery, clearly something is missing between us". Clarke seemed careless.
"You did what?" Niylah's jaw dropped
"Woah, why are you mad?"
"I'm hurt?!"
"You did it too?" Clarke stated.
"And you aren't even faced.. God. You're a psychopath. A mental case, what the fuck is wrong with you!?" Niylah walked towards the door.
Niylah turned around when she heard her phone ring, and Octavia's name popped up on display.
"What have you done?" she said, "Clarke?"
She carefully picked up, "Octavia?"
Niylah's eyes widened in shock as Octavia's words filtered through the phone.
"I got your message, babe, I love you too. I want to be with you too," Octavia said, her voice reaching Clarke from the distance.
Niylah, torn, hung up abruptly. "Wait a second, Octavia."
"Clarke!?"
"Now you can be happy!"
"I don't want that. I wanted you, are you okay, Clarke? Why are you acting so weird? You're crazy!"
"I'm actually more aware than I've ever been, Niylah, go to her!"
"Oh my god. You've lost it, we are done, Clarke." Niylah stormed out
//
Clarke found herself alone, sitting on the floor with a bottle of whiskey in her hands. The room was quiet, except for the occasional sound of her taking a swig from the bottle.
She couldn't shake the feeling of regret and despair. Tears welled up in her eyes as she realized the mess she was in. She felt guilty about Niylah, pissed about Lexa..
The room felt empty. As Clarke continued to drink, the numbness began to set in. She felt lost, disconnected. In the midst of the darkness, Clarke's sobs echoed in the silence. She was left alone.
The facade of not caring, the emotional numbness, had passed. She felt.
She felt horrible.
Voices echoed in her head.
You're sick.
You're a psychopath.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
YOU ARE READING
I fell in love with your thoughts- A Clexa valentine's special
FanfictionThey had never met, not in person anyways. But Lexa felt like they had known each other forever. Like they were one, interlinked, in a way. She felt that Clarke, though unknowingly, had been with her through the darkest time of her life, when her co...
