Maybe she was crazy. Crazy to fall in love with someone so secretive, so fast.
Maybe she was sane. She had never felt such feelings before.
She had never gotten that tingly feeling from a first look, she had never wished she could crawl inside someone and stay in it so bad before. She had never laughed as much, never felt so understood.
Maybe she was utterly fucking insane.
But wouldn't that make it two?
//
Lexa heard the determined knocking on her door, a sound that seemed both unexpected and dreaded. She hesitated for a moment, unwilling to believe that it could be Clarke on the other side. In an attempt to maintain some semblance of composure, Lexa took a deep breath before cautiously opening the door.
She stood there in sweats, a messy bun crowning her head, and remnants of mascara still lingering beneath her eyes when they suddenly widened at the sight.
"Can we talk?"
//
"I don't know how... But when I read what you wrote, it felt like a connection"
Clarke nodded in response, "Lexa?"
Lexa nodded.
"Was it real? The feelings, were they what you thought they would be? I mean, you only really had notes," Clarke probed, a mix of curiosity and uncertainty in her voice.
Lexa managed a faint smile through her broken expression. "I know you're not that dumb."
The room held a heavy silence.
"I am angry with you, why did you lie?" Clarke's tone shifted, a stern edge to her words.
Lexa, now visibly ashamed, admitted, "I couldn't tell you."
"Then you misjudged me. Badly, Lexa."
"I'm sorry."
"Lexa... I love you, loved, love? I don't know. I can't turn it off," Clarke confessed, her vulnerability laid bare.
"Clarke, it won't work." Lexa's voice trembled with an undercurrent of pain.
"Why, Lexa?" Clarke's confusion and anger surfaced.
"It... I hurt you."
"But you made me feel loved too."
"You said it yourself, I'm mad."
"You- Lexa..."
"Clarke, stop!"
"What!?"
"I can't hurt you anymore. I can't make you fall in love or stay in it?! It's all forced. You wouldn't love me if I didn't make you love me!"
"Lexa, wh-"
"I stalked you! I found out where you lived, where you worked, the café you like!? I am insane, Clarke."
"And I fell in love with you! You did that! And now you're giving up!?"
"For YOUR own best Clarke!"
Clarke stood up.
"Clarke I am fucking insane, twisted".
...
"I basically gave my wife away to her affair"
Lexa's lips parted, "your?"
"My wife. Niylah, she's been in Amsterdam for a month.. while we.."
Something changed, Lexa's expression softened, she looked extremely confused, eyeing the girl in front of her.
"I found the woman. I fake texted her, I upset my wife and had her run off to her. Last night".
Lexa couldn't get any words out past her confusion.
"So I'm a little nuts, turnoff?"
Lexa shook her head in disbelief, "Clarke..."
Clarke walked up closer.
"And so are you. You're crazy. And I find that so very intriguing".
They held each others gaze for a while, silent apologies, silent pleas and when they say eyes can talk, they mean it. Because after about a minute, Lexa's hands dared to cup the delicate, pale cheek of the girl opposite and carefully interlock their lips.
A single tear ran down Lexa's cheek. She parted the kiss for a second, looking the gorgeous blonde in her eyes, her lip quivered.
"I love you" Clarke said.
Lexa couldn't help the smile that crept up on her, "It's still valentines day".
Clarke laughed, "It is indeed"
"So will you be my valentine?"
"Lexa I will be your girlfriend".
...
Lexa felt a finger trace her bare spine, she turned around under the covers to look at her girlfriend.
"You never finished the book".
Clarke smiled gently, "I did not".
"How come?"
"It always gets so miserable right after the best parts, I like to make my own ending, one that won't be miserable".
Lexa smiled, that is so Clarke.
"What happens in your ending?"
Clarke thought about it for a second, hummed.
...
"They just have sex forever, don't get up, don't die, right?"
"Right".
YOU ARE READING
I fell in love with your thoughts- A Clexa valentine's special
أدب الهواةThey had never met, not in person anyways. But Lexa felt like they had known each other forever. Like they were one, interlinked, in a way. She felt that Clarke, though unknowingly, had been with her through the darkest time of her life, when her co...
