You're safe with us

Chapter 10

Tw:Panik attack

14th of October

A week after Kathy had come home it was her birthday. She didn't expect anything, since her mother had forgotten her birthday so often she didn't remember when she had last celebrated it.

As every monday morning Kathy had her alarm set at 6:10. That was about 10 minutes before either Maya or Carina would come and wake her. They had found that that worked for her.

Carina came in and sat down on Kathys bed. She switched the little bedside lamp on and rubbed the teens back. "Wakey wakey. Buongiorno bambina." Kathy turned and Carina pushed a strand of hair out of Kathys face. "Buon compleanno, ragazza mia. 14 years." Carina kissed Kathys forehead. Kathy sat up and rubbed her sleepy eyes. "Good morning." Kathy said in her raspy morning voice, that sounded so much like Mayas and smiled. "Thank you." "Go get dressed, bella. I made some special breakfast." Kathy smiled. "Thank you."

The school taking part in the fox program was a progressive private school. Instead of classes they had indiviuall timetables. Each taylored to every students needs. For the Fox kids, thats what the Fox foundation programm kids called themselves, it was perfect. Kathy only went to school on Mondays Wednesdays and Thursdays. On tuesday and friday she had lectures and seminars at the university and monday and Wednesday afternoon she had lab and skillslab. All in all it was a stressfull pensum, but Kathy thrived.

When she came downstairs, she saw a flickering light comming from the kitchen.

Maya and Carina sat behind a big chocolate cake with 14 candles and smiled at her. The candles were flickering and shining on their faces in. "Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear Kathy, Happy Birthday to you." They sang and smiled. Kathys eyes were so big when they were done, she couldn't hold it anymore. She started crying.

Her sobbs wrecked through the room. Both Carina and Maya were stunned. What was going on? This was not the reaction they expected to a Birthday cake.

"Sweety. Sweety. Whats wrong?" Maya said as she guided her to a chair. Carina rubbed her back and sighed worriingly. "Hey. Bambina. Hey." Kathy tryed to geht the words out but she couldn't. Her shirt was suddenly way to tight and her cardigan made was way to hot. "Hot.... Can't breathe " Kathys clawed at her shirt and Maya took her hands in her own. "Kathy. Look at me." Carina took Kathys face in her hands. "What do you need?" "Sweater off. " Carina nodded and helped the teen get out of her top.

"Better?" Kathys breathing was still erratic. "Kathy. Bella. Come look at me. Can you tell me 5 things you see?" Carina asked. " Kathy? 5 things?" "Your eyes." Good. " "The c..cc. ake." "Good." "The table." " Yes." "My hands." Carina nodded. "And mayas ha..nds." "bene, bella. Breathe. In out. Can you feel my hands?" Kathy nodded still sobbing but breathing a little better. "Can you feel Mayas hands?" "Yes." "Good. Focus on those. Just focus on our hands. We got you."

Finally Kathy calmed down. But when she saw the worried faces. "Sorry. I'm so sorry.... i... Its... I will go. I know it wasn't right to freak out. I will try to be better. Please dont send me away." She said that with such a speed Maya and Carina were speachless. "Bella. No. You do not need to be better." "No sweety you are the best. Okay? Emotions are normal. Okay. We can talk about it and we will help you feel them. Okay? I get big emotions too. And Carina has to help me feel them. Okay? You did nothing wrong." "But i cryed and sobbed, because of the cake. I shouldn't do that." Kathy said. "I just. I don't remember when somebody remembered my birthday the last time. I just didn't expect it. I am so happy and constantly so scared that all this is just a dream and i am going to wake up again and i am scared i don't get to stay here and sad and mad and happy so happy. I couldn't push it down." "Bella. You are overwhelmed. That is normal. We understand. We love you and we want you to come to us whenever your emotions feel like they are too much. Va bene?" Carina wiped a tear out of Kathys face. Kathy nodded. "Thank you so much for the cake." She said to the two women. "Oh the cake is Carinas work. If i'd made it, it would probably give all of us foodpoisoning." Maya joked and Kathy let out a little laugh. One of Mayas favorite sounds. "Why don't we eat some cake for breakfast? We could all use cake for breakfast." Maya suggested. Carina nodded.

After they had cake Carina took Kathys hand. "We have some presents for you. Do you want to open them now or after school? We don't want you to get overwhelmed again?" "I got presents?" Kathys voice was so small. She sounded more like. 4 year old than a 14 year old. "Yes. Sweety." "I want to open them now. I.. i'mm.. this is.. thank you." Kathy stutterd. Maya and Carina guided her towards the couch table. "Here you go. Happy Birthday bella." "Happy Birthday." "Hey, bella. Whats happy Birthday in german?" "Alles gute zum Geburtstag." "That is so long." Maya chuckled. "Yeah. Well it means everything good for your Birthday. Which is long in English aswell." "Right."

Kathy opened the first present. It was one of the books she had on her list. When Carina and her went into bookshops they both has a list and added books they wanted to read to that list. "Percy Jackson." "I saw it on your list." Kathy nodded. "I love it. I just finished The hugergames Mockingjay a few days ago. This is perfect." Carina smiled. Kathy opened the next one. It was a pictureframe with a picture of the three of them painting Kathys room. They had lots of paint on their faces but they smiled and it was such a funny picture. Kathy laughed. "I love it." Then she took the next one. It was an evelope. "Dear Kathy. We want you to experience the awesome things of life and thats why we want to take you to the most magical place on earth. Disney world. We will go during your Thanksgiving break and stay there for 4 days. I hope you are as excited as we are, because we haven't been there yet aswell." Kathys jaw dropped. "You can not be serious?" "We are. We know you love disney movies and we thought you might like it. " "I love it." Kathy jumped up and hugged both of them, nearly running them over. "Thank you thank you thank you."