You Are The Reason

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"Come on. You're kind of missing the point of a double date," Bucky chided, pulling Steve back to face him. Steve awoke from his reverie of fighting in the war with a jolt and looked up at his best friend. Bucky's eyes were lit with accusation as his eyes focused on Steve.

Bucky sighed. "We're taking the girls dancing," he added, trying to deter Steve from trying to enlist again. There was a little hesitation and reluctance in his voice, as if he would rather spend time with Steve then the two girls tagging along with him. Shaking his head and looking straight into Bucky's steel blue eyes, Steve replied softly, "You go ahead. I'll catch up with you." Bucky closed his eyes for a second, taking in Steve's words. He couldn't let Steve try and enlist again. Not when he had his chance to live his life without having to fight. "You're really going to do this again?" Bucky sighed, bouncing on his heels. Steve hesitated.

"Well. It's a fair. I'm gonna try my luck..." Steve started, but he was cut off by Bucky's accusatory glare. His voice nearly cracked as he stared at Steve, broken. "As who? Steve from Ohio?" Bucky questioned sarcastically, before his tone turned to a stern one. "They'll catch you. Or worse, they'll actually take you," Bucky pleaded, looking at Steve. "Look, I know you don't think I can do this." Steve's eyes blazed with fire as he attempted to counter Bucky's attack. He looked up at Bucky, who replied, exasperated, "This isn't a back alley, Steve. It's war..."

"I know it's a war!" Steve shouted back. Bucky closed his eyes, knowing full well what would befall Steve if he succeeded in enlisted. Tired, he whispered, "Why are you so keen to fight?" He took a deep breath and added, "There are so many important jobs-"

Steve retorted, seething, "What do you want me to do? Collect scrap metal in my little red wagon?" Bucky rolled his eyes and shouted back, "Yes! Why not?" Steve sighed and looked into Bucky's steel blue eyes, now lit with worry and pleading. "I'm not gonna sit in a factory, Bucky. Bucky, come on. There are men laying down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them. That's what you don't understand." Steve explained slowly, carefully deliberating each word before they rolled off his tongue, "This isn't about me."

"Right." Bucky nodded his head, hurt and resigned. He shook his head as his heart shattered. He tried to find the right words. "Cause you got nothing to prove," he elucidated slowly. "Hey Sarge! Are we going dancing?" the elation in the voice of Bucky's date shocked his slightly and he swiftly turned around, charm seemingly melting off of him and puddling at his feet. His voice was crisp and attractive as he gestured to the exposition. "Yes, we are," Bucky called. His smile was as bright as a sun-lit current.

Sighing, Bucky started backing away into the darkness of the night, leaving Steve in the bright light. He doesn't walk into the darkness. He backs into it, like someone being cornered or pushed. But he keeps his eyes on Steve and the light. "Don't do anything stupid until I get back," he called, wanting Steve to know that he was making a promise to come back.

Steve smiled softly, "How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you." Bucky shook his head affectionally, "You're a punk." Steve grinned and hugged him, patting his back reassuringly, "Jerk. Be careful, okay?" Bucky nodded absent-mindedly, making his way towards the girls as Steve calls, "Don't win the war till I get there!" Bucky turned around once again, saluting Steve with a straight face before he grinned at the girls. He held the hand of one and wrapped his other arm around the other.

"Come on, girls. They're playing our song."

*****

All he could feel on his skin was freezing cold air. Bucky shivered slightly under his thick blanket as he sat next to Steve on their couch. Outside, snowflakes gently fell from the night sky, blanketing the world in a quiet serenity. It was the kind of snowy evening that begged for companionship, a perfect excuse for Steve and Bucky to share some much-needed quality time together. Their bodies were enveloped in cozy blankets, as the crackling fireplace filled the room with warmth and comfort. The room was dimly lit, creating an intimate atmosphere that matched the affectionate silence that settled between them.

To Bucky, the sound of silence around him was chilling and frightening in every possible way. Every single winter night reminded him of HYDRA. All he could think of as they sat side by side was the cold in the cyrostasis chamber as he reached out his metal arm helplessly, seeing his own traumatized face in the reflection of the ice.

Steve held two steaming mugs of hot chocolate, delicately balancing them as he settled back down beside Bucky. The scent of cocoa, a hint of cinnamon, and the fragrance of wood, lingered in the air, adding to their personal haven. Bucky's icy blue eyes glimmered with a mix of contentment and a longing for solace. Steve noticed, reaching out and gently cupping Bucky's cheek. The simple touch spoke volumes, conveying a depth of emotions words could never capture.

They had been through so much together; the horrors of war, the pains of loss, and the healing journey towards redemption. But tonight, it was about finding solace in one another, creating a haven where their pasts couldn't touch them.

"Bucky, choose a movie," Steve whispered from next to him. He wrapped his arm around his lover, his other hand holding Bucky's metal arm. Bucky sucked in a breath, feeling the warmth of Steve's hand around his shoulder. Steve shivered slightly too as the cold metal fingers of Bucky's arm met his own. "I don't want to choose a movie," Bucky whispered in return. He reached forward to grab the hot chocolate that Steve had prepared from him. After taking a sip, he rolled his eyes and added, "You choose." Steve smiled and scrolled through the titles before searching a movie up using the tags 'Nostalgic' and 'WW2'. Bucky groaned softly before inching towards Steve. They cuddled against each other as Steve pressed play on 'Casablanca'.

As the opening scenes of the familiar old movie flickered across the screen, Bucky leaned into Steve's warmth, his head resting against his broad shoulder. The gratitude in his eyes remained unspoken as he took a sip of the rich hot chocolate. The velvety taste danced on his tongue, providing a measure of solace to his weary soul. Steve gazed at Bucky, his heart swelling with love and admiration. He marveled at how far they had come, from the battlegrounds of the 1940s to this haven of their own creation. Bucky's presence had become Steve's anchor, grounding him to the present and reminding him of all that was good in the world.

They watched the movie, occasionally stealing glances at the other, as memories intertwined with the present. Laughter and sorrow intertwined, just like their lives, forming a tapestry that held them together. "Hey, Buck?" Steve whispered, as the black and white movie played in front of them. "Yeah?" Bucky whispered, smiling. "You're the reason, you know." Bucky frowned as Steve held him closer.

"For what?" Bucky grinned as he held Steve's hand. "That I'm still breathing..." Steve whispered, "You saved my life. On multiple occasions." Bucky smiled and muttered, "So did you. I'd climb every mountain. And swim every ocean. Just to be with you."

Time seemed to slow down as the night wore on, the world outside becoming a distant memory. As the movie credits began to roll, Steve turned towards Bucky, his azure eyes filled with unspoken love.

In that moment, everything they had ever been through seemed distant and insignificant. The bond they shared, nurtured by moments like these, meant more than any battles, victories, or defeats. They were each other's sanctuary, a sanctuary no one could take away.

Wrapped up in each other's love, they found solace in the simplest of moments — sipping hot chocolate, watching a nostalgic movie, and embracing each other's warmth. "Hey, Steve?" Bucky whispered, nuzzling into Steve's chest. Steve played with Bucky's hair, needing him to hold him tight.

"You're my reason too."

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