the divine art of bullish*t

Chapter 7

A/n-not edited

I before im sent off to my death, i list anything and everything i have to get my mind off this mental torture.

Annika, she is my everything, the closest thing i have to a sister and my only friend. i regret not telling her about my situation in person. shes probably shitting herself in her room, she couldn't come with me for the pick up of candidates, God knows what war officer would accidently mistake her for a volunteer, and i could never let her join me, i couldnt do that to her. i let out a sad  chuckle at the thought of her.

My parents. They hate me, i love them. its complicated.

My list stops short. i don't have much to lose and yet i'd do anything to keep them.

i straighten my shoulders and force myself to look tougher than i usually do. Its been a week since i left my parents. i now stand in the line of volunteers for war. I notice the leather armour, or lack of it, in the other line, where the convicts who were forced as punishment stood in line.

Im suddenly pushed in line and realise its my turn to board the carriage. the buff guy grumbles behind me and i walk faster into the carriage. the horse neighs like its also waiting for me to hurry my ass up. i sit on the uneven wood and i hear the horses hooves move and suddenly we're moving fast to the academy.

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When we reach our destination, and my mouth gapes at the sight in front of me. all the outer walls are thick stone, and the buildings inside the walls is in a curved shape of a crescent, he opening of the crescent is a set of large metal storm doors that block the sunlight. The crescent is three stories tall, with the central building being slightly taller and having bigger windows, likely the director's office. The buildings on the side seem to be dormitories on the first floor, and the second floor appears to be an academic space. 

I catch a glimpse of another larger training room that looks like a repurposed greenhouse from my angle. In the middle of the crescent is a courtyard with painted white lines on the grass, likely where we will train for outdoor combat. At the very back is a small dais and a podium, enough to fit at least 20 people.

 At the very far back is a small dais, enough to fit at least 20 people, and a podium.

A lady i recognise from the handbook walks up to the podium, her mouth talking into the mic. she's the chieftain. I notice everyone crowding around her, and i follow the crowd.

her blue eyes scan the crowd like she's doing a headcount insanely fast in her head. when her eyes are sure everyones here, she pushes her windblown blonde hair out of face.

"welcome, Recruits." a gentle smile breaks through her tough face. but the crowd doesnt silence, her face contorts in annoyance.

"Welcome, recruits and future warriors." she almost screams, this gets everyones attention." I am Chieftain Maylar, and if you're looking for an easy ride, you've come to the wrong place. You should have already familiarised yourselves with the handbook and received your schedules. You know the drill, so let me make it simple for you: if you can't fight, you will die. If you can't strategise, you will die. If you're not strong enough, you will die. But fear not, for here you will hone your skills and develop new ones to serve the province you are loyal to. I promise you this: under my leadership, you will become the most fearsome warriors this land has ever seen. So, let's get to work and show everyone what we're made of!"

Almost more than half of the recruits cheer because their the only ones who want to be here. I know i know, 'its all about your loyalty to this province' and whatnot. It's all bullshit. its always bullshit if i end up dead too.

Chief Maylar dismisses us. The crowd of recruits dissipates just as quickly as it came.

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Over the next few weeks, I throw myself into my training. I was placed into fleet 7, raid team 4. the people here aren't so bad, or at least thats what i tell myself, ill be spending the most of  the war with this team so im bound to make it more positive than it is. 

At first, it was tough. I had never been particularly athletic, and fighting didn't come naturally to me when i wasn't angry. But as I practiced, day after day, I began to see improvement. i began figuring out using my anger to use.I would wake up early, before the sun had risen, and head to the training grounds by myself. After, I would spend hours sparring with my fellow recruits. I would drop dead on my bed, but also exhilarated. im gonna stay alive.

For the first time in my life, I felt like I was working towards something important.Despite my initial reluctance, I found that I had a natural talent for combat. It was as if something inside me had been waiting for this moment. but with wielding any weapon other than a dagger im so fucked.

my last session of the day was sparring, i had just finished fighting with a teacher about battle tactics in battle strategy class and was letting my held in anger out as I sparred with my fellow recruits, I felt a sense of pride. I may not have wanted to be here, but I was determined to be the best.Maybe if i excelled enough i would be pardoned from the war as i was not a proper volunteer.  

Over the next month, The Chieftains nice persona given to us at the start of the year was covered with a mask of an unforgiving and brutal figure, with no patience for weakness or excuses. She gave me specifically increasingly difficult tasks, each one designed to test my limits and push me to my breaking point. There was no room for error or hesitation in her world, and she showed no mercy to those who failed to meet her high standards. Despite her harsh personality and lack of remorse, I knew that her intentions were good, and that she only wanted to help me become stronger and more capable.

Months pass. i barely think about my job outside the war academy and mostly let the irritation from annoying recruits out on the sparring mats.

As I was sparring with a classmate. i send her over my shoulder and knock the air out of her. The Chief approaches me. Fuck. am i in trouble? is it cause i accidentally stabbed that one recruit yesterday? little bitch. he said he wouldn't snitch.

 "Impressive," she said, nodding approvingly. "You've come a long way since you first arrived."I could feel my cheeks flush with pride."Thank you, Ma'am" I said, trying to keep my tone respectful.

 The Chief smiled, and I could tell that she was genuinely pleased with my progress. 

"The director says he wants to see you" her eues glance at mine," he has a special assignment for you," she said, her expression growing serious. I nod my head and she leads me out the sparring mats to the courtyard where we start to walk towards the directors office. it was an awkward silence at first. and the chief was first to break it.

" i want to apologise." Chieftain Maylar forces through her lips. i almost cringe seeing this side of her

"i have been unforgivably harsh on you since i realised you were-" she cuts herself off when my gaze snaps to her. since you were weak. 

no one says it.

"but that first day when i saw you punch that boy with nothing but your anger. i realise now, you have so much potential." she finishes.

Oh, i see, she wants to make me a weapon. instead of controlling my temper she wants to let it loose, which is a very bad idea.

we're suddenly in front of the directors door, and a guard swings it open with ease.