CONFINEMENT

CHAPTER EIGHT

   Castania could practically feel the sadness in her bones and the depression creeping up and staining her features. The days past slowly when all you wanted to do was sleep the day away. She would wake up, brush her teeth, get changed. Then she would get to the zoo, where she would sit and stare into the void until she got picked up. She would return home, take a shower and brush her teeth again, then she would climb into bed for the remainder of the day, solely waiting for her tiredness to kick in so she could rest her tired body and pass time without having to be awake. She followed this routine every day. Considering she had spent her whole life longing for food, she was notably uninterested in any meal waiting for her in the fridge. She didn't feel the hunger anymore, but it wasn't because she was full. She did eat, but she felt sick every time she left her room, so she always put it off for as long as she could. Harrison had checked on her a couple of times, saying, "The door is unlocked, you know." To which she had replied "I know but I don't want company, I just want to be left alone."

   She made it an effort not to look at him. She could always feel his concerned eyes lingering on her body, but he never said anything. One day, when he had sat at his desk and she had grabbed an apple from the fridge, he had caught a glimpse of her blue and swollen hand. The guilt and concern had tortured him so much that he had gone into her room the same night, where he had grabbed her hand and bandaged it tightly. And she had just laid in her bed, completely still and with a distant stare. If it wasn't for the faint sound of her breathing, he would have thought she was dead. She sure did feel like she was, but that was the problem, wasn't it? She was still alive but she wasn't living.

   The first weekend had been the worst. Harrison had told her that she should take the weekend off from the zoo. "So you can get better." He had said and she hadn't replied. She knew he was trying to be nice, maybe to quiet down some of the guilt he felt, but what he didn't know was that without having to be somewhere, her routine would crumble. She would lay in her bed for two whole days, only leaving once but only because her bladder was so full it hurt. No energy for food, no energy for a shower.

   Another week passed where she followed her routine meticulously. Harrison swallowed all of his pride, and watched her as closely as he could. It felt like she was a ghost, cold and unresponsive, and on Saturday he had had enough.

   He made her skip another day at the zoo and grabbed her wrists and yanked her from her bed. Her body was too tired to fight so she just followed him as he steered them out of the apartment, up the last flight of stairs and onto the roof of the building, just in time for the sun to rise. He sat her down so she could lean against the building and look out on the city skyline. Then he had sat down next to her, so close that their arms were touching.

   He slowly took her hand and stripped it of the bandages, revealing a now deep purple bruise over the four of her knuckles. At least the swelling had gone down. "Your hand looks better." He said as he lightly brushed his thumb over the bruise.

   "It hurts when you do that." She said in a rusty voice. The sound of her voice made him jump a little. He hadn't expected her to actually answer, and he hadn't heard her voice in two weeks.

   "Sorry." He said as he carefully put her hand down in his lap. He swallowed a big gulp of pride and said, "I'm concerned for you, Castania."

   "I know." Was all she managed to say, but for the first time in two weeks, she allowed the tears to fall from her eyes, and it felt nice. Like some of her sadness ebbed out with every tear. She was still sad, but she didn't feel consumed by it anymore. She drew in a shaky breath when she tasted the salt of her tears, and leaned in to lay her head on Harrison's shoulder, and they stayed like that from dawn to dusk.

   When Harrison woke the next day, the pit of guilt hurting his stomach had shrunk. She had told him that she would be okay, and he had believed her. Funny how all of his hatred towards her had ebbed when he saw her in so much pain. He didn't even have the energy to scold himself for letting his guard down, he was just happy that she had seemed better when they went to bed. He tried to tell himself that he cared so much purely for selfish reasons, but it was a weak attempt.