The Journey To Happiness

Chapter 1

HARPERS POV:

"HARPER" My best friend Lily screamed as I was tipping over the edge of the roof, ready to jump. My heart pounding every second there was no going back, this would be a success this time. "HARPER DONT DO THIS" Lily screamed again, ignoring every word she said I took a deep breath and let myself fall slowly.

Everything was black, all I could hear was sirens in the distance it was like wringing in my ear, not stopping till I heard shouting and yelling.

"Can you hear me?" The paramedic said with a panicked voice. He sounded new, like he didn't know what to do. "She has selective mutism, she might not speak" I heard Lily explain. "I need to know if she can hear me" The paramedic responded "What's her name" He stated to Lily "Harper.. her names Harper she's my best friend" Lily told the paramedic. "Can I ride with her in the ambulance?" Lily claimed.

After that everything went silent...

My eyes fluttered, I saw a blinding light, my eyes wondering around the room. The paramedic was standing over me he saw a glimpse of my eyes opening. I tried to get up I wanted to run. "Easy there we need to take you to the hospital we will be there soon" The paramedic informed me. I didn't want to go to the hospital, they would be questions, I didn't feel like talking.

The ambulance stopped.

"15 year old Harper Mowlry found with injuries to head, arm and a lot of scratches" The Paramedic said. "What the hell happened here" I heard a female doctor call out. "Attempt, she jumped off a 3 story building, she's lucky she's alive" Said the paramedic. I didn't feel lucky, I wanted to die I wanted to be with my mum and my dad I wanted to be happy for once. Lily was stopped and wasn't allowed to follow me into to get checked out, I wanted my best friend with me I wanted to know if she was okay. I didn't care about if I was okay, all I wanted was my best friend to know everything. Lily is the only one I talk to she is my only friend at school and at the group home.

I lay awake in a trauma room, a female doctor walked in she had brown medium length curled hair, dark blue scrubs and the most welcoming smile.

"Hey Harper, I'm Dr Amelia Shepherd" She said as she was using a little flash light in my eyes. "Pupils look good and responsive" She said to the other team of nurses and doctors in the room. "Harper can you hear me?" She said gently. I looked away panicked and frightened, nodding my head ever so slightly. "Hey it's okay Harper, I'm going to help you with the best support ever" She said calmly. I looked her in the eyes and gave her the tiniest smile I could possibly do. She smiled back and I instantly felt safer around her. "Okay, Harper I need you to tell me what happened" She said softly. I began to panic and started to bite my nails. She looked at me and moved my hand and held it closely. "It's okay if you're not ready to talk" She said. Lily and my groups foster carer ran into the room. "Hello are you her family" Dr Shepherd asked. "I'm her foster carer" Malie explained "I'm her best friend!" Lily said. When I heard Lilys voice I called out in a quiet voice. "Lily..?" I said practically whispering it, but it was enough for her to hear. "I'm here Harps" Lily responded. Dr Shepherd and Malie the foster carer walked out of the room to chat.

Dr Shepherd escorted Lily and my foster carer to leave as I still had to get my injuries checked. "Harper look at me sweetie" She said. I turned my head and nodded. "I've been told about your selective mutism and autism, it's okay if you're not ready to talk you can always write it down if you would like no pressure" She smiled at me. I nodded feeling reassured and safe. I knew Dr Shepherd wanted me to tell her so I had to be brave. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth ready to talk but nothing came out. I knew the words I wanted to say, but why wasn't I able to do it I always questioned this. I began to lash out and screamed. "Hey hey hey sweetie it's okay" Amelia soothed. She looked at me with concern. "Would you like a hug?" She questioned. I was unsure but nodded as I really needed some comfort at that moment. She ever so gently hugged me stroking my hair carefully. It made me feel so much better, I looked up and saw her cheesy grin.

"I know you may be feeling a bit distressed currently, but we need you to try and communicate what you were doing" She said calmly as she was looking at her notes I began to whisper. "I want to die" I said quietly shedding a tear. Dr Shepherd turned around and looked at me with a concerned face. "Should I page psych?" I heard a nurse say. Amelia shook her head and continued to talk to me. "And why is that?" She asked. I sighed before telling her "I'm messed up, nobody wants me I don't want myself what's the point anymore" I said crying "Hey no don't think like that" She responded quickly "Your only 15 there is so much to do" She explained. I stared at her and shook my head frowning. "What's the point I have no childhood left" I explained. Amelia shook her head "I'm sure you have a lot left" She disagreed.

I stared at the ceiling before telling her something I kept from even my closest friend. "I have no childhood left, I started to cut when I was 12, ODed when I was 13" I said looking at the scars I had on my arm. Amelia looked at me with sympathy. "I understand" She said. "NO YOU DON'T" I yelled abruptly trying to get up from the bed but being held back by Amelia. She looked at me again and paused. "I'm a recovering addict" She admitted. I looked up at her and she took a deep sigh. "I'm sorry" I said. "There's nothing to be sorry about" She informed me. I still felt guilty for shouting at her and knew I probably triggered something.

Authors note:

How are we all doing?? 🥰🥰

Thoughts on what might happen with Amelia and Harper?