Queen of Nothing

19. i'm sorry, zara

"I need a nap," I grumbled to Katie in between classes, "I'm so done with all of this." 

Zara rolled her eyes. My eye twitched. Katie shook her head, no. 

Just one slap. It'll feel so good. 

She gave me a sardonic look, this is the last period of the day. Hustle through.  

Instead, I did the whole "bigger-person" bit and turned away, tucking my pencil into my notebook, waiting for the lesson to start. 

That was when Lily walked in, with a certain flush to her face that filled me with a wrath I couldn't even begin to address. She spoke to Mrs. Shah quickly, before taking the seat at the back of the class while I gave Katie an incredulous look, 

"Tell me she didn't switch into this period. Tell me she didn't." 

"It's so late in the semester," Katie commented, "I wonder how she managed that." 

"Maybe you should switch to the other section if it bothers you so much," Zara commented. 

I frowned at her, "Maybe you should learn how to shut the hell up, Zara."

"Mahi!" Katie gave me an incredulous look.

Zara frowned, leaned in, "What's your problem?" 

"You," I hissed, "constantly in my ear, being a fucking bitch." 

"I'm the bitch" She mock-laughed, "the call is coming from inside the house, girl." 

"Zara-" Katie warned, "guys why are you fighting-" 

"Katie shut up," Zara and I both snapped at her in unison and she shrunk in her seat. 

I turned back to Zara, "That's just it, isn't it? You're jealous." 

"Of you?" she scoffed, "yeah right." 

"No," I insisted, "you are. God, I just got dumped and you're still jealous of me? Is that it? Do you want to be queen that bad? You couldn't handle it, not even for a day." 

Zara's eyes flashed with anger, and I smiled to myself, knowing I'd hit a nerve. "God, you have a boyfriend, loving parents, and early acceptance to Carnegie fucking Mellon, but it will never be enough, right? Because at the end of the day, no matter how hard you try, you will never come close. But that doesn't stop you from trying to claw your way to the top, does it?" 

Zara opened her mouth, insult ready to fly, when Mrs. Shah cleared her throat, silencing us both, "Is there a problem, ladies?" 

I shot Zara a withering glare, to signify that this conversation was over, before forcing a tight smile onto my lips to address Mrs. Shah, "Nope. Just a small misunderstanding." Zara glared straight ahead, fists clenched, jaw set. 

Mrs. Shah eyed us both reluctantly, "Okay. Well, I suggest you both put it behind you and focus on the lesson, we have a lot to cover today." 

I offered her my most charming smile, "It's already behind us. I wouldn't miss your lectures for the world, Mrs. Shah." She gave me an unsure look, as if she hadn't decided whether or not I was being sarcastic or trying to kiss her ass. Frankly, even I wasn't sure of that either. 

"Okay," she murmured, before turning to the rest of the class, "let's talk about last weeks exam! Here's what went well..." 

Zara and I exchanged one last heated look before reluctantly returning our attention to the front of the class. But even as Mrs. Shah launched into the lesson, I couldn't shake the feeling of simmering rage that still coiled around my lungs, threatening to choke the truth out.