Queen of Nothing

23. enough

Disclaimer: I do not condone drunk driving, or underage drinking either. Please know that this is all a work of fiction and not something to be replicated. Driving under the influence of alcohol or any other intoxicating substances poses serious risks to the driver, passengers, pedestrians, and other road users, and can result in accidents, injuries, or fatalities. It is illegal and unethical to operate a vehicle while impaired, and such behavior should be avoided at all costs. 

I encourage everyone to act responsibly and make safe choices when it comes to alcohol consumption and transportation. If you choose to drink, please do so responsibly and always designate a sober driver, use public transportation, or arrange for alternative transportation methods to ensure the safety of yourself and others.

Now! On to the story.

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"After careful consideration of your application, we regret to inform you that we are unable to offer you admission to Columbia University..."

I sat, unmoving.

"After careful consideration of your application, we regret to inform you that we are unable to offer you admission to Columbia University..."

My blood began to curdle.

"After careful consideration of your application, we regret to inform you that we are unable to offer you admission to Columbia University..."

My heart slowed down and in that moment, I wondered seriously, if I was still breathing. My phone began buzzing, "Did you get in?" "Check your portal!"

I heard Gia moving around in the kitchen before, and I wished more than anything that she would go anywhere but here, so that I could unravel the depth of everything I was feeling. I felt it, a molten ball of pain sitting hot and heavy on my throat, compressing my lungs into nothingness.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the headboard, feeling the thrum of my heartbeat all the way in my ears.

"After careful consideration of your application, we regret to inform you that we are unable to offer you admission to Columbia University..."

I reached underneath my bed, felt around for the bottle that I had stashed months ago from one of Dean's parties. It was a little over half full, and I thanked my luck before unscrewing the lid and taking a pull until my eyes started to burn. The vodka sloshed down my throat, and made me gag, but I did another pull and felt the buzz work its way through my bloodstream.

Then, I grabbed my keys and tossed the bottle in my backpack, making my way down the stairs. Gia called out, "Mahi?"

I ignored her and slipped out the front door, running to my car. I started it and backed out, surprised at how in control I felt. I cruised down the neighborhood, without a general idea of where I wanted to go. Katie's? She would definitely be home, but I wasn't ready to be supported by her. My perfect best friend would know exactly what to do, and frankly I wanted someone to be destructive with.

Jordan? He would definitely get drunk with me, but I didn't trust myself or any woman around him where alcohol was involved.

Dean? I clicked on his contact, twice, and waited patiently. I knew that drinking with Dean would only deepen whatever anger lay between Zara and I. But I wanted the drama, the chaos. I wanted to yell, get into a fight, deal with my issues like a man. I wanted to set everything on fire.

My call went to voicemail.

My gaslight came on and I ignored it altogether, pressing on the accelerator. The dull ache in my head grew heavier with each passing mile as it replayed the rejected letter over and over again.