Love 101

Chapter 11

Jacob ran and embraced his father with a huge bear hug. Sarah smiled from ear to ear as she watched both lovingly hold on to their embrace for a few seconds. God knew how she was so thankful to have such a loving family. As a child, she missed such affection and wanted Jacob's life to be different. Then David walked over to her with a pep in his step and kissed her softly on the lips. She grinned wondering what her handsome husband was up to. David held her eyes for a moment. He wanted to erase a tortured childhood and the pain of the past. He knew his wife had some sadness but he loved her so much and wanted the best for her. He pulled both his wife and son into a hug. He was so grateful for his family. He recalled how he almost lost Sarah after his proposal years ago. The thought made him shiver and sad just thinking about it.

Eight years ago

Sarah stared at the diamond engagement ring and looked at David on his knees. This was happening. The love of her life was proposing on bended knees. Why wasn't she more excited about it? How could he even want her? She thought it was over after he met her mother who was extremely nasty and mean to him. Wow, she thought. How could he love someone like her? He had his pick of girls and came from a respectable family with less drama than hers. David deserved better and she thought her family history did not qualify her to be his wife. God is this real, she thought. David started to get worried. They had dated only two years and he knew she was the only one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Surely, she did not doubt this? He hoped. It took a year of friendship and trust even before moving to a romantic level in their relationship. Sarah's parents had messed up their daughter's perception of love and marriage. David knew this was where the hesitation came from. He wished she could see herself in his eyes.

"Sarah I love you and need you in my life," he continued. "You are the best thing that ever happened to me," he continued. She smiled and heard her subconscious mind scold her come on don't leave the poor guy hanging. You know this man loves you. "Yes... yes, she managed to say as she felt his strong arms wrap around her.

David proudly slipped the engagement ring on her finger and kissed her again. He saw the thoughts racing in her mind once again. "Let's sit," he said pulling her next to him. "What's going in that pretty head?" he said slipping his hand in hers. She interlocked her hands with his and stared into his gorgeous hazel eyes. "David, are you sure you want me? My mom is an alcoholic and I am stuck with taking care of her. Your mom does not think I am good enough for you. Do you want me to know my family history?" she said. David looked at the woman he loved and wished he could shake some sense into her. "That ring is not coming off your finger. You are the only woman in the world for me. I do not care about your family history or my mom's unreasonable assumptions. I love you Sarah Adams and can't wait for you to become Mrs. David Richardson" he repeated strongly as he convinced her of his intentions. Sarah hung on to his every word. They sat silently for a while as she touched and stared at the engagement ring. She never wanted a marriage like her parents. She hated the thought of marriage after seeing her parents make a mess of it. She caressed his face and sighed. But David had softened her heart and made her think with God it was possible to have a loving marriage.

She tried one more time. "I won't hold it against you if you walk away now." "Sarah ..... he started. "I'm only kidding," she said kissing him on the cheeks. She playfully shoved him and allowed it all to sink in. She loved David with all her heart. He was kind, sensitive, and loyal. He pursued her with respect and patience. It would be an honor to be his wife. David made her happy and she deserved to be happy after such a rotten childhood. "I can't wait to be Mrs. Richardson." She hugged him thanking God that he had brought someone so wonderful into her life. David held on to her tightly confirming his commitment and care for her.

Present Day

Sarah saw David giving her a look of concern. She knew right away he was thinking of her past. It would be so easy to move on from it if she did not have to deal with her mother. Each time she saw her mother it was a reminder of her childhood and adulthood. Yes, she was a Christian and loved God but forgetting about her past and healing from the anguish over the years were overwhelming and hard. She needed to forgive and forget. It only became an issue when her mother's alcoholic state and unkind words pierced her soul each time she went to care for her. "Jacob go and wash up for dinner," Sarah encouraged her son. Jacob nodded and headed toward to hallway. David pulled his wife closer to him. "Are you sure everything is alright?" he said not allowing her to escape. "I am fine," she smiled. "What happened with your mom?" he said releasing her as she headed towards the kitchen. "She retorted her diminishing comments like always but for the first time showed a little remorse when I told her exactly how she made me feel over the years," Sarah said setting the table. "Good for you," David congratulated her with applause and a bow. Sarah laughed at him.

"Don't make fun," she began. But he grabbed her in a hug and kissed one more time. "David," she scolded him. "What, can't a man kiss the woman he loves?" he asked with raised eyebrows. Sarah began shaking her head. David Richardson was too much. But God she loved him and he knew it.

That night Sarah was a bit restless as she slept. Her dreams kept going back to her childhood. She saw her mother drinking and her dad walking out. It was as if she was relieving her past all over again. She got up prayed and rebuked the dream. Why was it so hard to move away from this all? She was thirty-three years old and her past was still hunting her. This should not be an issue anymore. God had blessed her with a loving husband and a wonderful son who made her life a joy. She vowed her son would never go through the hurt and pain she endured as a child. After drinking a glass of water she heard the Holy Spirit speak to her. You have not let go because you need healing and deliverance. The generational curses need to be broken from your life. Sarah gasped at what her God was saying to her. Was it that bad? She had come to a crossroads, broken and desperately in need of changes. God was telling her how to do it and now was the time.