Do you love yourself enough?

CHAPTER 3 - try try try again

Here I am inside my room laying down while put a music in my headphone. I keep questioning myself if I am stuck or move forward. I just love to do things like watch tv shows or kdrama as to feel peace and quiet. It clear up my boredom and my nothingness in life permanently. It's just I always get this feeling everything doesn't turns out the way as it seems for me. I mean growing up I was treated badly and I never stand up for myself. It hurts me to think that I deserve so much and I suffer so much because of what happened back then. Although , it bring me growth in which it helps me so much to navigate life. For example , I never know to be capable whenever i am around myself , be independent , go to a shop and ask for an order , making eye contacts even to smile , hide myself by being invisible . I am that kind of person but I guess after suffer a lot I just choose to change and become someone who i choose to be. The old me never feel love or seen. I am the same as well especially for now but genuinely I choose to become much more than that. I lost my self-esteem because i got treated badly and I always wanting to ask for help , words become echoes and It's hard to sleep. Life teach us important lessons and somehow what mostly happened to us would be an encouragement on how to go further , be indomitable. I finally has the courage to smile , say hello , greet someone new , even ask for an order or to pay. Thus, it shows that I am finally capable of standing on my own and I am beyond proud of that. Whenever things get tough I always sit down and think straight with my toughts and even write them down.
It helps me knowing that I have me and always part of myself that never stop to grow and become stronger each days. My inner child that went through hard times slowly heal and I always believe that his smile would be more cheerful and heart-warm again.

i push away all of the echoes
Yet they're all coming back
But am I choosing to let them in??
I kick out the flash
Find the brightest star
Keep it in my room
Finally the star light up
Some part of me
That finally could breath again