𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚 , niccolo g.

𝟤. 𝖧𝗈𝗆𝖾

HOME !

────  It's like suffocating, the air i breathe is toxic.  you scratch and bite for oxygen but your lungs refuse to expand.   it's like drowning,  you're so close to oxygen yet not close enough to inhale it.     you're trapped,  trapped in a box with windows and a door that just won't open.    it's like screaming and no sound comes out,   it's as if there's no escape,  you're trapped.

they want you to be mature, but you're not an adult so you have to know your place as well. they want an adult daughter, but not one as mature as you've become. it's an endless loop that makes you dizzy, it's spins you around, over and over again.

why must you have such high expectations for a kid? allow me to be that, before i become a child you do not recognise.

"i'm home." i called out awaiting a response, i don't know what i was expecting when nothing but silence came in return. it was as if i was completely alone in the home, but i knew i wasn't, i would be far too lucky to actually have the house to myself.

"we're in the kitchen, adelina." i heard my father call, i wish i was surprised by the seriousness in his tone but i truly don't believe he has one funny bone in his body; but i wish he did.

i quietly made my way to the kitchen,  there stood both my parents.    "we figured you were old enough to be involved in the family business.   we figured it would be good for you, possibly even get your name out there."   my father explained calmly.

as stupid as it would come to them,  i wanted nothing to do with the family business.   part of me wanted the whole thing to go down in a mysterious scandal.

"as you're my only child,  you will be passed down the business and we understood you should probably get the hang of things early."  my father stated in a serious tone.

the tone in his voice almost made me feel like i had no choice,  it's as if he was not informing me of this stuff but he was making it an obligation.

i knew nobody would know anything unless i said something, but part of me knew better than to say something.  

"papà,  i don't wanna run the business.. i actually had other plans in mind.."   i spoke truthfully,  i would hope that my mother would at least back me up in this situation but she remained silent as the emotion on my fathers face changed.

"adelina, you are my only child the business would end up in your name anyway." my father explained which furthered my disappointment.

"can't you give it to the next highest owner rather than me? it would work out better anyway, i really don't want to be in ships with this business thing." i answered earnestly.

"adelina, figlia, please. just listen to your father, his business is good. you'd enjoy working there, and you'd be the owner of it not a worker." my mother explained but it only further allowed me to be disappointed.

what was i expecting? for her to defend me? she can hardly defend herself with my father. i felt like i was a bird locked in a cage with no escape, forced to remain sitting rather than being able to fly. it was pitiful.

"but i'd be stacked with papers, i'd constantly be busy, what's so good about that?" i asked with a frown on my face, i couldn't believe this. my mother had complained to me about the business and yet here she was playing innocent trying to get me to do it.